Its quite impossible to do no contact in my case... help!

[Apoc220]

OK, im having a tough time getting to move on from my breakup. Some background info (Some of you have heard my story already, but for those who havent:

-Was friends with girl for 2 yrs

-Starting falling for her last spring

-Tried to hook up from april till november.

-November hooked up

-December she starts making contacts inconsistent until I didnt hear for 2-3 days at a time. Then on New Years she didnt phone me for a week. Asked her what it was and she said that she didnt think it was gonna work yada yada. I didnt take it as hard because I saw it coming. She and I decided to remain friends. I'm willing to move on but there are a few things slowing down the process.

1)I see her in school because of musical rehearsals.

2)She and I have mutual friends.

3)Even after the breakup and with her flaws I still cant shake this feeling of wanting her. Each time I think that im starting to make progress and then I see her and all these feelings come back. The fact of the matter is, I WANT to be her friend, but right now its like me constantly seeing her is preventing me in speeding up the moving on process. I need some advice on what to do. I havent IM'ed her or called her in a month but just speak to her face to face. Do you think that the fact that I havent had closure and dont know exactly why she didnt think it was going to work out could be a factor? Thanks in advance guys.

[S4il]

Well no contact RULE, or guidelines i think are a bit over rated...really from what you said you can't really limit it all the way because you see her in music rehearsals, and you talk to her face to face...

 

But i did see you said

 

I haven't IM'ed her or called her in a month

 

Ok, well there is a start...keep going in that direction, One day you WILL wake up and you will feel like a new person, you will say "god why did i stress that girl so much" and that is when your body, and mind work together as one, and they start to over see what has been pulling you down for so long, because you sit and dwell on it almost all day, or just when you see her...

 

yea it sucks i know...been there done that, in fact most of us have; (your not alone) that whole Emotional boom blind sides you, and your feeling it all over again, It happens to the best of us.

 

You will get over this feeling, it's totally normal, just stay strong, and remain a Friend.

[ViRA]

Like you, I have to see my ex at work all the time.. I've tried to make things work but at this point it is just too difficult so I had to do what is best for myself right now..

 

I've taken a month off of work in order to hopefully heal up a little before I go back and focus on other things that I like doing. I understand how just seeing her again, and looking into her eyes can bring all the feelings back. Like a kick in the stomach sometimes.

 

I don't know how your music thing works but perhaps something like this would help you out too.. Try to get some time away from this stuff.. You've got mutual friends but I'm sure they will understand if you want to hang out without her for a while.. Mine did.

 

You might not be able to avoid her totally but every little bit counts I think and it sounds like you've got the right idea.

 

Good luck,

 

- ViRA -

 

"Our greatest battles are that with our own minds."