Jump to content

The getting a better girl challenge


chiyork

Recommended Posts

All heart broken guys, it is time to move on, to completely get out of the getting back together illusion, to cut off the past clean.

 

They dumped you, they hurt you, yet they moved on. They have new boy friends now and they are happy. They probably think about you once in a couple of months, for one second, or they many never even think about you any more. Why hold fast to false hopes here? NC is a great thing as it helps us heal, but don't put too much hope in it. Love is a two sided thing. Once it is gone, it is most likely gone forever.

 

To keep our dignity, to save us from the sufferings, we need to move on by entering into happier and healthier relationships. Suffering day in and day out will not help getting her back or finding the next girl. We need to move on full scale, adjust our emotions and behavior, if necessary force ourselves to do things that will bring us happiness.

 

We need to find someone who loves us more, who will not hurt us like our ex did.

 

From today, 10/21/2008 and on, I, Chiyork, will go on the journey to find my dream girl. I will spend all the time when I used to think about my ex and suffer on seeking for next girl. NC will continue for me, and likely forever. I will talk to my ex unless she contacts me first.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

to be honest i was where alot of ppl who are in this board are now..wanting to get my ex back..trying to figure out the right strategy etc...dwelling on it all day..what i failed to realize at that time was all bad and hurtful things taht she did to me..how i was taken advantage of...etc..i didnt want to hear any of it..the only goal i had was getting back together and i didnt see the whole picture

 

once i realized that life is short and that my ex isnt the only girl out there..and that a relationship with someone else who actually cared would be a million times better than one with someone who now treats me like crap, i started to heal alot quicker...i didnt want to believe it at first..no one will amount to be the same girl, i will never be able to be happy again etc..im starting to believe that i was jaded and i will be happy one day

 

i dont care if you guys were giong out with a supermodel who was smart and super nice..odds are if they broke up with you, then its time for you to let it be..if they come back down the road then great, you ASSESS the situation then because things may change and you may not want them back anymore!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am so excited about this myself! Really, we need to do this! This is the real positive thing, better than NC! As we move on, we will be happier, healthier and emotionally more stable. If the ex contacts you, she will be jealous of you because you are even happier than her! She may wants to be part of your happiness. At that point, it is your decision to choose. Let us come here often to update our stories. I am sure I will see many happy faces here. No tears, only laughter; no suffering, only hope and happiness through our actions of moving ahead! NC is waiting for hope to appear, but going out and seeking is to CREATE hope ourselves. We will be there, we will!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

just my words of warning tho..dont start this if you are super hung up on your ex..if you are starting to heal, then its time...when i was fresh out of my relationship, this would have been the worst thing for me to do..only now am i ready to be with another girl..dont put other ppl in a situation where you are still thinking bout your ex and wanting to be with them..it will open them up to hurt and pain esp if you drop them the moment your ex comes back

 

so just be aware of where you are emotionally and let things come naturally..you will know when you are ready to find that better girl

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just want to clarify this: what we are trying to do is probably most suitable for those who were dumped, who have been in NC for a while, who have passed the 'addicted to ex' stage (i am sure most are still attached to ex to a degree, i am), and who have thought through the breakup and ready to move on. Did your ex tell you to move on, to be happy? Why are we torturing ourselves then?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

just my words of warning tho..dont start this if you are super hung up on your ex..if you are starting to heal, then its time...when i was fresh out of my relationship, this would have been the worst thing for me to do..only now am i ready to be with another girl..dont put other ppl in a situation where you are still thinking bout your ex and wanting to be with them..it will open them up to hurt and pain esp if you drop them the moment your ex comes back

 

so just be aware of where you are emotionally and let things come naturally..you will know when you are ready to find that better girl

 

What's up guys!

I'm totally with this. I posted a thread yestrday saying that all of us hurt people should go out a talk to a stranger you think is interesting/cute. I've been doing this often and it help soooo much. You realize that there are many people out there that are nicer than your ex, that treat you better than your ex. I would disagree with the above post, however. I think that especially if you are hung up on your ex, you should do this. Get a grip on yourself, stop kidding yourself that they were the one, obioulsy they were not. Start to enter the world of other girls again. It really is a wonderful place. Guys, keep this thread alive, share your experiances.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess most people are here to figure out roconciliation advice.

 

LOL, imagine that, people looking for reconciliation advice in the "getting back together" forum.

 

I surely do applaud the efforts behind this thread and have been doing just this for a bit now, but it doesn't have anything to do with "Getting back together". Seems like the thrust of this thread is covered much more thoroughly in the "Finding Love and Soulmate" or "Dating" forums of this site.

 

Thus the reasons you don't find people posting "how to get back with an ex" in those two forums. There's already a forum devoted to that. This one.

 

I do wish everyone the best of luck, though. Finding love is a beautiful thing and I hope everyone participating finds that happiness!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL, imagine that, people looking for reconciliation advice in the "getting back together" forum.

 

I surely do applaud the efforts behind this thread and have been doing just this for a bit now, but it doesn't have anything to do with "Getting back together". Seems like the thrust of this thread is covered much more thoroughly in the "Finding Love and Soulmate" or "Dating" forums of this site.

 

Thus the reasons you don't find people posting "how to get back with an ex" in those two forums. There's already a forum devoted to that. This one.

 

I do wish everyone the best of luck, though. Finding love is a beautiful thing and I hope everyone participating finds that happiness!

 

you know,

 

I think it belongs in this forum better than any other. IMHO, you will never get back together with your ex. It's time to move on and try to help others to move on.

 

OK! I'm a big liar. My ex came back. After she was in a relationship over a year and got really hurt herself. Thing is, it was never the same. There were glimpses of euphoria and happiness, but we both knew that it ended last time for good reasons and it eventually ended this time. She just chose to rebound with the guy she knew well and ended up hurting me again. Damn i feel like a fool. Find another! At the very least, you will know that there are other/better people out there

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are probably just run down. You need to take better care of yourself.

Eat balanced meals, get good sleep and exercise.

 

I excerise 3 - 4 times a week (5km run then mini work out)

I eat very well and whilst sleep is hard, i do get at least 6-8 hours a night.

 

It's just stress. That's what brings them on.

 

But, it's pretty hard not to get stressed out when you have herpies on your face!

haha...... actually quite funny when you think about it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...