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Love & Attraction


MollyElise

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I am wondering about attraction and long term love. I know attraction is important, but wonder about the physical aspect of it as we mature.

 

When my husband and I met we were both in our physical prime, over the past couple of years.. that has definitely slipped. I still find him attractive and sexy =) He tells me I'm sexy and attractive, so I'll take his word for it, but honestly don't know how he finds me "hot" cause, I gotta be honest, I aint so hot right now.

 

Thats what's got me thinking about this. As we age we are all going to become 'less attractive' does that mean that physical attraction with our spouse will diminish or is there something else that causes that person you love to still be attractive even though they are not nearly as commercially attractive as they were when you were first attracted to them?

 

Does our personal idea of attractiveness change as we age? I think mine has, when I was younger I did not find men with muscles attractive, as I've gotten older I find large muscles more and more attractive, same with facial hair, as a teen I thought it was gross... now It screams MAN to me, lol.

 

Similairily if someone was to put a picture in front of me of what my hubby will look like naked when he's 70 I'm pretty sure I wouldn't think it was hot or sexy, but when I'm near 70 will I, would it be because I love him or would I find other 70 year old men attractive?

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The connection over age is 'purely' emotionally. There's honestly little to like about a ragged 70 year old body, its the soul that inhabits that body that we love so intensly. What you have as a young person attracts someone in your life, what you have in terms of a mental connection as an older person makes the one who was attracted to you stay with you forever.

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agreed. I'm in a relationship with a woman who, if all I had was a picture, I never would've dated her. But the more I spend time with her, the more I see how she "gets" me as no other has. That creates a strong emotional bond, stronger than a physical infatuation.

 

And there's the magic, it seems. As I like her more, I want to be physical in an affectionate way more. Once that train leaves the station, it goes to the sexual as well. It's a different, deeper and more satisfying kind of attraction.

 

Those are my thoughts as I experience this.

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I think the emotional connection is way stronger that then physical connection and attraction.

 

There wasn't a physical attraction component when I met my boyfriend. The beauty and attraction stemmed from his personality, who he was and how he made me feel. That in turn, turned into a totally different physical attraction. Looking in his eyes I see so much, his smile just melts my heart, his words, his actions, it all adds up to create this person that is absolutely amazing to me..and its HIM, the person that is beautiful...and I know that the beauty will span over years because its not really physical in nature, its him, his spirit and personality.

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