Jump to content

Don't Wanna Be a Gentleman Again


Carmine

Recommended Posts

So over the past 3 weeks, I went out with 3 new girls. Each time we spent a few hours together, and then the girl invited me back to her place. Nothing happened, though. With 2 of them we just sat on her bed/couch and watched a movie, and with the other one we just sat on her couch, talked, and had some drinks (not alcohol). I didn't make any kind of move on any of them...putting my arm around them or whatnot. I was trying to be a gentleman and show that I wasn't only after sex.

 

They all seemed to like me a lot, but after our first dates where I went back to each of these 3 girls' places, the began avoiding me. I asked them out other times but they pretty much blew me off.

 

Did they want me to make a move when I was at their places with them? Did they think that I just wanted them as friends? I didn't know women were this physically driven...

 

In one of my ONS over the summer, this girl told me that she knew I was kinda inexperienced because I wasn't nearly as "forceful" as other guys have been. I think I understand what she meant by that now...but how forceful is forceful enough?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 90
  • Created
  • Last Reply

maybe you were just respecting boundaries? i see nothing wrong with not pouncing on a girl on the very first date! and these girls should learn that just because a guy isn't pawing all over you on the first date that he's not interested. you know, it's ok to take things slow and take some time to get to know each other. slow as in, 'no pouncing on a first date.' yikes. i think the problem lies with some of these women also, if they immediately feel rejected just because he didn't make a move in a heartbeat.

 

then again, if they are inviting you to sit on their bed, they are probably also expecting that you make some kind of move on them.....

 

you can not make a move on the girls and still show that you are interested by asking them out for a future date.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

maybe you were just respecting boundaries? i see nothing wrong with not pouncing on a girl on the very first date! and these girls should learn that just because a guy isn't pawing all over you on the first date that he's not interested. you know, it's ok to take things slow and take some time to get to know each other. slow as in, 'no pouncing on a first date.' yikes. i think the problem lies with some of these women also, if they immediately feel rejected just because he didn't make a move in a heartbeat.

 

then again, if they are inviting you to sit on their bed, they are probably also expecting that you make some kind of move on them.....

 

you can not make a move on the girls and still show that you are interested by asking them out for a future date.

 

Sigh, It IS the girls of my generation.

 

They feel as if all guys want is sex. So, the best way to get boyfriends is to put out right away. Beat out all the other girls on how easily they put out.

 

I see it constantly. The worst is that plenty of guys think the SAME WAY.

 

It hurts us sane people now, but, in the long run, I think it'll hurt them more....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

and you know, these girls could have also made a move on you!!! i've kissed a guy before. if they're going to invite you to sit on their beds, i don't see why they are suddenly too shy to give you a kiss on the cheek.
I agree with you, because like carmine, same kind of things have happened to me. Like there is something wrong with me if i dont want to make te first move. If they wanted it so bad, why couldnt they give some kind of sigh, or something

 

but..nice night, invite back to the room to watch fast and furious, common the sighs were there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sigh, It IS the girls of my generation.

 

They feel as if all guys want is sex. So, the best way to get boyfriends is to put out right away. Beat out all the other girls on how easily they put out.

 

I see it constantly. The worst is that plenty of guys think the SAME WAY.

 

It hurts us sane people now, but, in the long run, I think it'll hurt them more....

 

ok, but i can tell you, and so can your grandmother, that having sex with a guy on a first date won't make him your bf.

 

it's fine if all you want is a hookup, then by all means, hook up. i just know i've gotten hurt in the past when i got intimate with a guy very soon and then never heard from him again, especially if i thought we had potential to be bf/gf.

 

if getting these guys into bed is their way of making him her bf, then i think these girls have a lot to learn.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ok, but i can tell you, and so can your grandmother, that having sex with a guy on a first date won't make him your bf.

 

it's fine if all you want is a hookup, then by all means, hook up. i just know i've gotten hurt in the past when i got intimate with a guy very soon and then never heard from him again, especially if i thought we had potential to be bf/gf.

 

if getting these guys into bed is their way of making him her bf, then i think these girls have a lot to learn.....

 

Yeah, I know how it is. It's just....sad...

 

Especially when those same girls start ranting about how "he was such a jerk, he didn't take me seriously" "he treated me badly" "all he wanted was sex".....sorry but you get what you give out.....

 

It's the tragedy of my generation. No one talks to their kids about healthy relationships. They assume their kids know. And that's when people get messed up. I know my mother never told me. I'm just DARN LUCKY that I ended up the way I am.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with DW. These were NICE girls, not crazy party hotties. They were all very studious (and pretty as well) and somewhat shy. I didn't expect them to expect me to make a move so quickly. If I was with a typical hot girl in her room, I probably wouldn't care and would make a move, but I thought if I made a move with these girls they would think I was only after sex. I figured a move could wait a date or two.

 

And I'm 95% sure that's what these girls wanted...I mean, what girl goes out with a guy ALONE and then invites him into her room ALONE and invites him on her bed when she just wants to be friends with him? Plus, one of these girls suddenly has a boyfriend, so he gave her what she wanted...and another I noticed had a book on her shelf called "How to make a man fall in love with you in 30 days" (that one didn't blow me off, but I never asked her out again. She was sweet, but she wasn't too bright if you know what I mean.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, don't get me wrong. All these girls are nice. They just have the wrong idea....

 

People who think like us (carmine) are hard to come by in college (in my experience).

 

Don't get my wrong...I want my sexahy time, but I'm willing and want to wait a bit. Sexual tension = good...fast put outs = not so satisfying.

 

a very trusting girl

 

Yeah, which was why I didn't want to abuse her trust so easily, but now I realized that it wouldn't have been abusing at all. More like payout.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, don't get me wrong. All these girls are nice. They just have the wrong idea....

 

People who think like us (carmine) are hard to come by in college (in my experience).

 

yeah, i think a lot of people have forgotten, or have never actually 'dated.' as in - meeting up, going out to dinner, bowling, skating, etc.... i don't know about the rest of you, but i was never really into 'hanging out.'

 

besides, you called them back to ask them out again, i would have taken that as a sign of interest, not blown you off. oh well, whatever.

 

if they have a different relationship tempo, i guess that's their fault.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...