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what does this mean?!?!


kussen_mich

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Ok so i've had a crush on this guy for a long time. One night while at the bar we went home together...and things happened...and e continued hooking up. recently he told me he likes me but we both just got out of really bad relationships not to long ago, and he doesnt really want anything serious. Which i can understand. But he kept wanting to hook up. So now i try to look at him as just a friend with benefits. So when we hook up i try not to kiss him, im european and when i kiss someone romantically, that to me is a huge connection, and i feel if i dont kiss him it will take away some of the feelings i have for him. But when i do this, he gets mad and asks why i dont kiss him. I tell him it will make me like him too much and he says i already like him so its ok and then he'll kiss me. Uhh i dont know if this is making any sense but i need some sort of an answer to why he cares if i kiss him or not if we are just a hook up... please help its driving me nuts!! ](*,)

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Even if this is a friends with benefits relationship whenever you tell a man to stop he has to stop. He should understand that you have self-imposed boundries and respect those boundries. As to why he is kissing you, that is a tough one to guess. You would be better served asking him to clarify why he insists on kissing you after you explained to him that it was personal to you.

 

I don't know how many men will admit this but kissing is definiatly more personal to me. I have some idea's as to why. Good luck, Troop.

 

p.s. Dragunov, nice name! You ever get any trigger time on one?

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ok guys hes not like raping me....just when he leans in for a kiss i'll turn my head...after a few times of this he'll usually ask me why i wont kiss him. then i'll say becuase it makes me like him too much....then he'll smile and kiss me...its hard not to kiss him back some of the times...sometimes i do get my point accross. but all this happens while in the heat of the moment if you will. should i talk to him about everything im feeling when we arent about to hook up? just tell him that i dont think its a good idea that we hook up if thats all he wants since i feel the way i feel? and then see what happens after that?

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so theres absolutley no way this guy could like me? its all rebound stuff?

 

I never said that, and can't guarantee anything - I'm not him. He may like you and even if it is rebound there's a chance - but if you want a chance at a real relationship, you have to stop and wait til he's over it before you try and start anything meaningful.

 

If you just continue to sleep with him then when he gets over it he'll probably get over you, and you'll be just rebound girl.

 

*EDIT*

p.s. Dragunov, nice name! You ever get any trigger time on one?

 

 

Not yet (Australians don't get much firearm access unless you're a farmer, sportsman or defense/police), though I'm in america at the moment, so you never know, fingers crossed... The guy I'm staying with gave me a little run on an AR-15, then swapped to the .308(?) barrel... Gave me quite a shock. /hijack

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People are complicated and it's impossible to accurately say what he is thinking or feeling.. it could be a rebound thing... he might be just playing games with your feelings... or maybe he does like you but is afraid to admit it.

 

It sounds to me like he wants you to like him because you warn him that kissing him will likely stir up such feelings and he punctuates that by kissing you. I've done something similar in the past and what it basically meant was "Good that's what I want" ... however, the next question would be WHY he would want that... whether he wants you to like him just to make him feel better about himself or if he actually likes you back...

 

best solution: sit down with him and discuss the whole situation maturely and in as non-confrontational a manner as possible. Find out what you both want and make it clear what you are feeling and where your boundaries lie.

 

Viel Erfolg!

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