Jump to content

I cant seem to keep any confidence...


monkey123

Recommended Posts

I dont know what the deal is with me, I just think im so much uglier than i am and it kills my confidence. Today at work a group of girls were sitting at a table (i work at a resturaunt) and one of them came up to me and handed me a note and said my friend wants me to give this to u. I looked at it and it said your cute give me a call and it had her number. I went up and introduced myself to her and I said something that made them all laugh, THEN IT happened! for some reason, i just lost all my confidence even though things were going well and I said hold on ill be right back... i didnt have anything to do but i said this, i walked over to the kitchen and i was down on myself saying to myself... no they r just joking ur ugly and i walked past them again and said hey im heading out nice to meet u and went outside and threw away the number. She was pretty too, i dont know y i get so down on myself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Shouldn't have thrown it away! Oh well. What happened happened. Well, if anything else this has shown you that there are women who are genuinely attracted to you and you can be charming to the opposite sex. The next time you're freaking out just try and remember that it's you being insecure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry but throwing away the number is of little or no consequence. Because with that type of confidence it will be difficult to navigate a relationship let alone a date. So don't get too down on yourself...but start figuring out the source of the problem. I can guarantee that no girl is going to give you her number as a joke...not any girl that's worth your time. Pretty girls won't go out on a limb with a note like that if she isn't attracted to you in some way...I am 100% certain of this. Next time you're in this situation keep your confidence even if you have to fake it...eventually you'll see in yourself that you are worthy of their time and vice versa...

 

ON second thought - maybe go get that number too. Sometimes fate knocks on our door and we need to answer

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dude i dont know what the deal is with me, I get in these depressed moods as quick as i can snap my finger. I am very quick to think the worst when it comes to me and girls so I just give up even if i am doing good. I have had many insults and many compliments in my life, but the only ones that i remember and that run through my head are the insults and i try to hard to change but i cant. I have been on this site for almost a year with the same * * * * ing problem and its confidence. It hasnt gotten any better, if a girl shows a sign she is interested, i always think.... no she isnt im not gonna bother her anymore. I wish a girl would just fall into my lap but that only happeneds when its a girl thats off limits... but thats whole other issue

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've had bad experiences with women that fall into my lap. What makes them bad? I tend to attract the same type of women and it just so happens that type and I are very incompatible. So I've started to realize that unless I go out there and win the girl, I'm going to continue to keep getting that same type that doesn't work for me. So be careful for what you wish for!

 

Do you have any guy friends? I've noticed that hanging around the right type of guy friends can really boost my confidence even when I don't want them to! My friends are the kind of "You're money and you don't even know it, now get out there" type and really push me to my peak...and now the confidence is a lot more natural and is starting to become a part of who I am. It's nice and I think you can get there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a lot of friends, my high school friends though... they make of me for it and they think its funny. They dont know how much it brings me down. Not all of them, but somebody will usually mention it or make a joke about it when im with them. They arent really the greatest friends in the world. I have made new friends and i feel great around these guys. They r a lot more down to earth.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just use common sense, hang around the people who you like being around more. And if this site isn't helping you then don't use it. This site is somewhat therapeutic in a way, but it's always expected generic advice. As much as we can give you generic advice, you're the only one who can change yourself. In my opinion, hang around those guys who are down to earth especially if you go to bars or other similar pick-up stations.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Monkey, god damnit, you're pissing me off. You're literally throwing away opportunities that I wish I had. I'm a waiter too and all I ever get are 60 year old women giving me their numbers.

 

You lack confidence? Like, holy crap, you've got girls interested in you left and right. You have a ton to be confident about. If I was your buddy in real life and I found out you did this, I would kick your ass. That's not a joke or a threat, it's a fact.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Monkey, god damnit, you're pissing me off. You're literally throwing away opportunities that I wish I had. I'm a waiter too and all I ever get are 60 year old women giving me their numbers.

 

You lack confidence? Like, holy crap, you've got girls interested in you left and right. You have a ton to be confident about. If I was your buddy in real life and I found out you did this, I would kick your ass. That's not a joke or a threat, it's a fact.

 

i second that motion. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Monkey, god damnit, you're pissing me off. You're literally throwing away opportunities that I wish I had. I'm a waiter too and all I ever get are 60 year old women giving me their numbers.

 

You lack confidence? Like, holy crap, you've got girls interested in you left and right. You have a ton to be confident about. If I was your buddy in real life and I found out you did this, I would kick your ass. That's not a joke or a threat, it's a fact.

 

lol thanks carmine i needed that. On the drive home after that i had a little voice say in my head... "YOU FOOL! DO U REALIZE WHAT U HAVE JUST DONE?!?!?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It happens man. It's so strange. You can be great and just suddenly flip flop and be completely down on yourself and want to run and hide. I've done before. I am extremely shy but this summer I managed to go to the beach and hit on a few random girls I saw. It went so bad but at the same time, I knew I never had to see them again. I felt like a fool, but nobody knew about it but me. It's like my own secret. I've got a girlfriend now, and she certainly doesn't know about it. If you honestly think you've screwed this one up, then let it go. The fact that a girl walked over to you and gave you her number shows me that you'll not have trouble finding another person. Sometimes it can be worse to force yourself to keep trying with somebody who you feel like you already failed with, makes it hard to be confident. It's easier when they don't know you, don't know the stupid things you might've done (such as excusing yourself for no reason )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

lol thanks carmine i needed that. On the drive home after that i had a little voice say in my head... "YOU FOOL! DO U REALIZE WHAT U HAVE JUST DONE?!?!?"

 

No problem man.

 

Those groups of cute 18 year old girls in restaurants are very fineeee. The problem is as a waiter you really can't come out and get their numbers, so they've gotta give it to you. Besides 60 year old women like I said (which happens a few times a week), I got one spunky girl to give me her number, but she was pretty...um...dirty, hot but not the kind of hot I like. I hardly ever get tables with a group of girls...only tables where it's a guy and a hot girl on a date, and the guy always feels the need to act tough and bossy with me to show off. Losers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Monkey, god damnit, you're pissing me off. You're literally throwing away opportunities that I wish I had. I'm a waiter too and all I ever get are 60 year old women giving me their numbers.

 

You lack confidence? Like, holy crap, you've got girls interested in you left and right. You have a ton to be confident about. If I was your buddy in real life and I found out you did this, I would kick your ass. That's not a joke or a threat, it's a fact.

 

While I wouldn't "kick Monkey's ass", I do agree that it seems like he's throwing away something that seems like a legitimate opportunity. Some of us have never, ever gotten a note like that from a woman.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It can be hard to keep your confidence if you havent been successful in the past. Confidence is built upon success, aka I have done this before and I will do it again.

 

But when you dont have great success in the past, it can sometimes be easy to have your confidence fall quickly.

 

Use this as a learning experience, and next time you will be better for it. I def. understand your situation, this happens to me a lot as well...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
Sorry but throwing away the number is of little or no consequence. Because with that type of confidence it will be difficult to navigate a relationship let alone a date. So don't get too down on yourself...but start figuring out the source of the problem. I can guarantee that no girl is going to give you her number as a joke...not any girl that's worth your time. Pretty girls won't go out on a limb with a note like that if she isn't attracted to you in some way...I am 100% certain of this. Next time you're in this situation keep your confidence even if you have to fake it...eventually you'll see in yourself that you are worthy of their time and vice versa...

 

ON second thought - maybe go get that number too. Sometimes fate knocks on our door and we need to answer

 

word. I second that.

and getting some positive, cool friends is definitely key.

another thing to boost your confidence is affirmations and stopping negative self talk right when it happens.

I realized at some point that the way I think and talk directly influences my persona. So now, when I start thinking negative things about myself, I just cut the thought of and replace it with something else. I always talk about challenges that I have in the past tense. In your example I'd say: "I had challenges with confidence until now."

Its possible to change, it happens all the time. you're not the same person you were, when you were 5 years old, you won't the same in a couple months. Take charge of what that change is going to be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Its possible to change, it happens all the time. you're not the same person you were, when you were 5 years old, you won't the same in a couple months. Take charge of what that change is going to be.

 

That's an inspiring thought. I should turn it into a desktop background for my computer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...