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Is it ok not to feel hate


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If you don't hate them then you don't love them. thereforee you should be able to walk away.

 

Anger is alittle different. Evolutionarily speaking, anger was meant to give victims/weak creatures the strength to overcome their circumstances. if your still connected to this person and don't feel anger at the abuse then its not ok.

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Unfortunately, through something called "trauma bonding," sometimes being verbally and emotionally abused can draw you even closer to a person. Because their abuse was punctuated with periods of amends-making, sweetness, shared adventures, lovemaking, trust, hope that things would change, promises that things would change, perhaps even times when it seemed things were changing, love, lots of memories built together accross time and on and on... it is sometimes difficult NOT to focus on the good times and minimize the bad. I think it's less important to worry about why you don't hate your abuser than it is to deeply consider how you will love and care for yourself now and into the future so that you can remove yourself from abusive people and dynamics earlier--or prevent entering into relationships with abusive people altogether.

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i think not being angry is fine as long as you recognize the behavior as being wrong and harmful to you...and as long as you stay away...

anger can be a good tool in getting away from someone but if held on to can end up only harming you...

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I still love him a lot but i dont feel badly towards him. I dont hate him, i am not angry at him for what he did either. I feel sorry for him more than anything.

 

I don't hate any of my ex's. They did what they did because that's the only way they knew how to deal with their feelings. Being abusive is most-likely cause from being abused yourself. I felt very sorry for them and wasn't at all able to hate them because they were raised in that abusive manner!

 

You are very mature. That will help you move on to be in that beautiful adult relationship that lasts.

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The point is that hate is an emotional reaction. A reaction to our thoughts that are created by our mind in response to senses and in feedback from emotions that we are experiences.

 

Once hate, or any other emotion is experienced, it needs to be accepted and realized that is fleeting and will dissipate almost as soon as we feel it. But in feedback, the mind recognizes that feeling and creates similiar thoughts and the emotion can be felt again.

 

To eliviate the cycle, accept the feeling as real without wanting it to be other than it is (for how can it be?) and judging it or yourself for having it. The cycle is broken and the unpleasant emotion will dissipate in importance.

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Silent Treatment = Abuse (Here’s ...
Silent Treatment = Abuse (Here’s Why)

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