first time sex was bad

[FrustratedJo]

I'm 22 year old male, and I recently lost my virginity. I could tell the sex wasn't that enjoyable for either of us, and I'm somewhat frustrated. The girl was experienced, I wasn't. She tried several positions and most of them weren't effective for either of us, in most of them my * * * * kept falling out. I kept wondering if my penis wasn't getting hard enough, I also didn't feel it getting stimulated enough inside of her. The only position that worked for us and didn't cause my * * * * to fall out was doggy-style. We trying for about 20-30 minutes, I didn't come, not sure if she did (she said "a little" but she might have been lying to make me feel better). We also noticed that the condom ripped, was I using it wrong? We gave up. As we lied next to each other she asked me if I wasn't finding her attractive enough. The truth is, she was very attractive, but once her clothes were off my mind was somewhere else (I guess I was too worried about my own performance).

 

I read several other posts about guys' first times and while they're also frustrated, it seems the opposite of my experience, they come too fast as opposed to not coming at all. Is this normal?

[lady00]

Sounds very normal. First time for you. No biggie. It will get better. Now, if you were both experienced and it wasn't good, that would be another story. But this...this is quite normal (at least in the experiences of me and my friends).

 

Give it time...if it's incompatibility, that will become apparent over the course of the next few times.

[Jay_Bird]

yep first times are always horrible

 

it took awhile for me to get hard,I was nervous

 

soon as I got in,I was moving like a rabbit

 

didn't know what I was doing,lmao

 

don't feel bad,it happens to everyone

[thegirl_00]

 

soon as I got in,I was moving like a rabbit

 

 

way too funny!

 

 

First times are almost always bad... But remembering from my own experience it doesn't take long to get the hang of it.

 

I also recall my first time, and the guy I was with, his member kept on falling out as well.

[nutbrownhare]

I don't know anyone who enjoyed their first sexual experience. In fact, if it weren't for all the stories about how fantastic sex is, and thereforee we know it's worth persevering, I think the human race would have died out long ago!

[kaoticbaby]

my ex didn't come our first time either, we were both virgins. actually it took us three or four times to get it right. towards the end of our relationship, we had experimented so much that we were both like pros, haha. so it does get much better! no worries.

[BlueEyedBoy]

Take things slow, no need to rush these things.

 

I'm surprised you tried so many positions on your 1st time including doggy! thats adventurous

 

Try to relax. Don't think so much about trying to please her, just enjoy it. In time you'll figure out what she likes the most.

 

Have fun!!

[Tethys]

First-time sex is, with rare exception, bad. Don't feel bad. Sex, like everything else, takes practice.

[lady00]

Indeed. Practice makes perfect!

[Rose21]

You were just nervous.

 

1st times horrible? NOT TRUE!

 

Lol my 1st time was with a very experienced guy, I really enjoyed it. We were in a relationship of course (never have sex outside of one) And I thought it couldn't get better then that.

 

Then I had sex with my boyfriend for the 1st time. (He had never gone past kissing with another girl, and I had only slept with one guy before him. I was still kind of nervous and scared, we waited awhile)

 

And the 1st time (he was nervous, I could tell) But it was GREAT! We loved it.

 

And that experienced guy? pffft. Not what he was cracked up to be. AT ALL. He barely made me cum, where as 30 minutes sex with my boyfriend I can get 40 orgasms (no joke)

 

This is the guy I want to be with for the rest of my life. And deffinatly not JUST because of the amazing sex, he completes me in anyother aspect in life.

 

So being a virgin? Doesn't mean anything. He was, and is fantastic=)

 

I'm actually really glad he was. It is a MAJOR turn off for me to date guys that are full of themselves and have slept with lots of girls. But that's okay, because I don't plan on ever being with anyone else.

[Seraphim]

MOST first times are really bad, do not worry about it, it gets better I promise.

[MT1981]

my first time was horrible!!!! was with my 3rd ex and she was such a sex maniac it wasnt funny (she was only with me to get laid i reckon - until she found someone else).

 

This was during her period too - she just took off her jeans, and it smelled really bad! But she just didnt care about it. Anyway, she told me to put on a condom, and to do her in the backseat of my car - didnt want to disappoint her by saying no, cos i feel like i was going to puke.

 

It lasted maybe 1 minute or so. Came back home, and found bits of blood all over my tshirt and all that crap.....

 

it was disgusting! still makes me wanna puke.....

 

edit - i think that first time affected me after as well. Could be why im not performing well for my current gf...

[FortunateOne]

It's normal for the first, second and third time to feel strange. It's a practice sport so continue and I hope she understands since she too went through this stage.

[jettison]

I must be one of the lucky ones. My first time was basically a huge ego boost that had me thinking I was a cross between James Bond, Wilt Chamberlain, and Superman.

 

However, my first time with my first real girlfriend was not so great. We were drunk, and it was a little awkward if I remember right. We got it down after a few times though, and everything turned out A-OK. You'll get the hang of it.

[alli]

The reason your thing keeps coming out is probably because you're thrusting your hips too much.. I've heard that's common for guys when they first start. If you pull it all the way out it's gunna be hard to get it back in the same spot with every thrust. And you probably didn't come because you were nervous about doing it & about your performance... you'll be fine with practice. No one is a rockstar the first time they pick up a guitar.

 

It will get better!

 

As for the condom, did you leave a little extra material at the tip? Pinch the end of it when you roll it on so it won't rip when it's stretched or break when materials are umm.. ejected. It is important that you learn to put it on correctly NOW before you catch something or become a daddy! But I'm sure you already know that. Practice putting one on by yourself so it's not another thing you have to learn the next time you're with a girl.

[civilservant]

My first time was also my ex-finances, so luckily neither of us had any prior experiance to compare...

 

In all seriouness, the 1st time you're basically checking all the prices fit together!

[redhearts]

She sounds a bit on the not so tight side.

[FrustratedJo]

Thanks guys, I really felt like crap after we were done, reading this made me feel a lot better.

[thejigsup]

My first time was the stuff you dream about when you are a teenager. But I'm a female and the guy was very experienced even though I wasn't. You should always try it for the first time with someone experienced. I learned so much from him, I am forever in his debt. I am a female who learned to orgasm with a man at a young age. My friends who did it with their high school boyfriends took a little longer to get the hang of it, but they all did.

[blue69]

First time was memorable. Sure it could have been better.. but could have been worse. Nervousness, shyness, (guilt) affect us physically. Even the use of a condom for the first time can affect you. All these "distractions" can affect your ability to maintain an erection. This is a normal affect.

 

Sounds like she was patient and willing to work with you. Just talk about it honestly with her. She will appreciate it and you will see that over time it will get better.

 

And yes.. most likely if the condom ripped you did something wrong. Keep in mind that it is OK to switch condoms out during sex (even if you haven't cum). If you aren't used to them try using one next time you masterbate. Get used to how they feel and how your body responds to them. And always make sure you pull out when you cum. It is much safer that way.

 

Have fun!!