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My father is moving to ohio


Taomagicdragon

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TO give a short back-story my father abused me in every way (emotionally, physically, sexually-assault) and was a rotten human who walked out valentine's day 2000. He never spares a visit from some biting remark to me and so whenever he would visit I'd go into depression. Well tonight he called and left a message that he was laid off from work 2 weeks ago and is moving to ohio tomorrow to begin a new job..

 

I'm hurt. I know I should be happy that I'll never see him again outside once or twice a year tops but I feel like the day he walked out on our family; hurt, wanting to hate him but knowing I can't, wanting to miss him but knowing I don't, and most of all wishing he would apologize in a real way; meaning it and atoning for it in that way... but he won't..

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I'm sorry he did all those things to you. You probably feel like "people love their parents not hate them" but you certainly have justification for not wanting to see him. Maybe you feel like he should have said more in his message.

 

Some of my family used to go to AA meetings. My brother didn't drink, but I remember he went & they had him pretend his father was sitting in a chair in the middle of the room & tell his father (the chair) how he felt. It would probably make you feel better to see a therapist or join a group. At the very least, write a letter to your father telling him exactly how you feel & what you need to hear from him. Then burn it.. or send it to him.

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