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I am a 17 year old senior in high school (male) who has no real interests or talents that I have discovered.

 

First off I will say that I have been depressed for a long period of time, and just recently is when I actually saw a psychologist and today I got medication to treat it.

 

As a kid I grew up in a pretty good family without many problems, however I feel like my parents kind of let me control them and I would always just sit around and play video games. However, I lost interest in games and everything else around 4 years ago, and I have just been sludging through life unhappily but not really doing anything about it.

 

I have tried to improve myself over the past year, I just feel like I am in a hole that I will never escape. I don't know why I feel this way though, if I looked at myself from another person's point of view I actually am a good, kind-hearted, and "cute" person. To add to that I do get good grades, and I should be continuing school and hopefully will eventually get a decent paying job.

 

The weird thing is that I feel like all I have to live for in my life right now are girls. I have always just loved girls for some reason, and because they are my only interest I am never successful with them. I just don't know how to develop other interests, because I honestly just don't care about anything else. I am not a weird person who is visibly obsessive about girls, for the most part I am pretty normal so I don't really understand what is going on.

 

Anyways, I have been trying really hard why I care about having a girlfriend so much in the first place. I am still a virgin, so sex is one thing, but I think I would be happy abstinent too. So while I am not sure if this is it, I think a major part of this also has to deal with me wanting to rely on a girl to boost my confidence and influence me to be happy. But I realize that that is exactly what will prevent me from ever having a girlfriend.

 

I just need to find a way to be able to rely on myself for this confidence, but I also need to figure out a way to develop a genuine interest in actual hobbies and activities. However, I have tried quite a few things and it just seems like I always become bored and quickly lose interest. I assume my only option is of course to keep trying to find new things, and hopefully one day come accross something that I will actually enjoy and take enough pleasure in to continue with.

 

Has anybody else been in a similar situation before? My depression medication hasn't kicked in yet because I just started it today, but I'm hoping most of this lack of interest problem will dissipate as it begins to kick in.

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Sex is not important. Being a virgin is FINE. Don't think so much about getting a gf, enjoy your senior year. What about instruments?

 

See my problem is I don't know how to not think so much about it. I don't want to think about it that much but it feels like it is the only thing I can think about.

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There are so many STDS going around, for guys you won't know if they have HPV, just go look at pictures. You may get disgusted enough to not want sex right now. the sex thing isn't really all of it, even though a big part of it. I'm not really sure why I care so much about girls either, but I just need a way to also develop genuine interest into hobbies as opposed to just one aspect of life.
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There are so many STDS going around, for guys you won't know if they have HPV, just go look at pictures. You may get disgusted enough to not want sex right now.

 

He wants a diversion, not a repressive experience lol, so /kittens is OUT.

 

I've been in a very similar situation, and as stupid as it sounds, things worked themselves out for me, I came into my own and became more confident, got myself a job, and things have just been on the up-and-up?

 

What's your situation with friends/job?

 

*EDT* as for why you like girls so much? You're a straight teen guy - nuff said...*EDIT*

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You're seventeen, so having girls as your primary interest is pretty normal and so is being a virgin, so you don't need to feel like there's something wrong or different about you. As for other interests, you're right that the best thing to do is keep trying different things that until you find something you enjoy. I agree with Redhearts about an instrument, if music interests you at all, you can become quite passionate about learning to play something.

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Yeah I usually have enough hope that things will eventually just work out at some point, because they usually do, but I can only think that way high. So I have been involved with marijuana for the past year (if it is considered an interest, then it is probably up there with girls I honestly don't fully rely on it or anything, but it does seem to make ease up some tough times in my life. I have some really great friends I love to hang out with stoned because they are hilarious, so I am actually in a very good position taking friends into consideration. They are also really good people that I have known for a long time and I really enjoy their company regardless. My job pays pretty well and I already really like my schedule there so I am happy for the most part in terms of those two things.

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I'm gonna be straight - I'm against drug use, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

 

When decently stoned, you can find daytime tv hilarious, you need a better basis for a friendship, IMO... Now I'm gonna speak from my own experience, which may be a very small group of people out there, but here goes...

 

The vast majority of "decent" girls I've hung around with have found weed-use a major turnoff for a variety of reasons. Now that may not be the view of most girls, but is the view of most of my friends who are girls.

 

I can't say whether or not this is an issue for you, but it maybe something to think about.

 

*EDIT* Also, mixing weed with antidepressants can mess with you bigtime - if you can't kick it, at least tell your doc about it so he can take it into account when he's working out dosage. *EDIT*

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Well that isn't really the basis of our friendship, but I admit it probably is not a very healthy habit, but its kind of the point I've come to to actually still enjoy things in life. I am not really a heavy stoner. I have given it up for girls before plenty of times, but it never really seems to work out anyways (marijuana never being the issue). Maybe this will end soon but I just don't really know, and it just isn't something that I can see giving up because in a way it is all I really feel like I have left.

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I think all of this stuff goes back to your desire for purpose. No success with girls whether it be sexually or relationship-wise, no interests. Sounds to me like you don't have a fixed path. As for your question if anybody else has been in your situation, I have. I have a strong craving for purpose and affection. I started up moderate weed usage; on the good side of things it opened up self-discovery and expanded my consciousness, on the bad side of things I was attached to the concept of attaining a girlfriend and weed was the emotional crutch. And of course, having weed as an emotional crutch just isn't healthy. I stopped smoking weed a year ago, put focus on discovering myself and school and now I'm onto college and life is good. Though I'm still a virgin and haven't met any chill girls; some work has yet to be done lol. But anyway, I suggest next time your stoned that you be introspective; it'll be a lot easier to break the mental "barriers" and really think about your problems -- try to get to the root of things if you can. That was one of the first steps I took in resolving my own issues anyway.

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Yeah that actually did provide a major step in identifying my problems. I've had a lot of pretty tremendous epiphanies while I was high, it helped me identify some of my problems. But I think my first move will be to start giving it up, I realize it probably isn't the best idea, especially if I am going to be taking depression which it could not mix well with. So I guess I am just going to have to rely on things falling into place and my interest in things being restored.

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Yeah that actually did provide a major step in identifying my problems. I've had a lot of pretty tremendous epiphanies while I was high, it helped me identify some of my problems. But I think my first move will be to start giving it up, I realize it probably isn't the best idea, especially if I am going to be taking depression which it could not mix well with. So I guess I am just going to have to rely on things falling into place and my interest in things being restored.

 

I think you're going the right way. Best of luck mate.

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Yeah, that's a good idea. Oh and if you stick with quitting, I suggest you take up Running, a mile run once or twice a week will improve lung capacity/function over time (it took 4 months for myself), and it can serve as a hobby as well. If you take it up, remember to get some decent running shoes too. Running can be real harsh on your knees with the wrong shoes.

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