Jump to content

Shorter version, because no1 reads the long ones.


Recommended Posts

Neither of us have ever had sex. Been together for about 2 years. I fall madly inlove with her and decide that shes the one. This is the woman i want to share my first time with (my chastity means alot to me). She leads me to believe she feels the same way about me, talking about birth control and what not. About two weeks ago out of the blue she tells me that she wants to waite for marrage. Not necessairly married to me, just married. Hearing that gave me the worst feeling of my life. I felt like , like she didnt want me, that i wasnt good enough. I felt like i was going to throw up. I feel confused, angry, upset, sad, like i was worth nothing. All jumbled up into one hurt. I briefly explained to her maybe 20% of how that made me feel.



It wasnt her intentions to hurt me or make me feel bad. She told me that if she "gave her self to me and then we broke up, that it would devistate her. She would shatter into a thousand pieces". Which is understandable, i know the feeling. I feel that way now. She sort of retracted the marrage statement and replaced it with "I just dont want to get hurt if we ever broke up". After she changed her mind it made me think. Maybe she just doesnt have faith in me, doesnt trust that our relationship will last. This is the girl of my dreams, i Love her with all my heart. Bringing our relationship to that level, would it not bring us closer? Bringing complete trust from both sides? I dont know what to do, I dont know what to tell her. I'm so confused and frustrated. I feel lost.


Long one for refrence >>


Constructive advice and input greatly appreciated. Thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm going to assume you don't just want sex. If you wanted sex - you'd be dating someone else. You want sex with this girl. And you want that because you ultimately plan to marry her. (Some people really do that and it works out fine.)


You are 19, so you are too young to get married or engaged. But, you think this girl is "the one". So, you need to buy her a promise ring. It is like an engagement ring, but kind of more like a "junior version" of an engagement ring. There are two differences between engagement and promise rings. A promise ring does not involve a specific date on the calendar to get married and a promise ring does not typically cost as much.


You need to plan a special evening with her - take her out someplace nice. Give her the ring. Tell her what it means - you plan to marry her someday. Explain the difference between the engagement and promise rings. Basically you know the two of you are too young to get married or engaged, but you are not to young for this. Ask her to wear it as a symbol that the two of you are together in a much more substantial way than just normal girlfriend/boyfriend stuff. You could tell her that when the two of you were talking about sex, you were thinking of it as this kind of milestone - but that you've found a better milestone for your relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...