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ex wants to hang as friends, is there something more?


arg
What If My Ex Wants Me Back - What...
What If My Ex Wants Me Back - What To Do?

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me and my ex broke up just over 2 months ago. it was a pretty nasty breakup on my part, basically leading her to end off by saying that she didnt want to speak/see me for a very very long time. She said she needed her space which i gave to her, and i tried to go NC to heal. Now ever since we've been apart she's contacted me 3 times over MSN. She initiated all contact. The recent one being yesterday, where she mentioned that she moved out of her house because of problems at home and is currently living at her friends house. She asked me that sometime if i would like to come by and see the place "as friends". Now i want to be more than that with her. i think at this point i am emotionally stable, and am ok with seeing her if she does call me back to see the house shes staying at. I would just like to know, i know she said the "friends" word, but i was wondering if this is a good sign that maybe somewhere down the road there's that possibility of opening the door for a reconciliation. I mean she did mention that she didnt want to speak with me for a long time when we broke up cause i was acting like a fool, but yet she's contacted me 3 times now and i dunno, seems like she might be missing me. I'm pretty sure she's not dating anyone either, she did mention when we broke up, that it wasn't her intentions to hook up with anyone else and that i shouldnt worry. So can anyone maybe tell me what i should do, how i should go about this situation as to when i meet up with her, and if there is a chance of getting back together again someday.

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Please don't fall for the friendship bone, I did it and got burned.....tho you can be friends if you are totally OVER her, which I don't think from what you posted. Stay firm and strong, that way you will earn her respect, she will know she can't take you for granted. It's tough, but if you do it, it will only elevate you in her eyes.

 

P.S. - Jus cause she isn't dating anyone doesn't mean she wud want to reconcile. Actions always speak louder than words.

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I think she is throwing in the hook for a second time and you took the worm. Haha. "Friends" is just a way to get you to come around to get you compfortable again. She probably wants to start over.. But you never know. Talk to her about it, she's the only one that knows the real answers.

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Yea just remember man and I think I said this the other day. Lower your expectations. I honestly don't know if you are ready to hear what she may say. Friends is just that friends. When we want a reconciliation we always look for more between the lines when most the time its not there. She could miss the support/friendship and not the relationship. How long were you two together?

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Ah I hear ya. Well again I just would say don't get your hopes up. You are gonna do what you are gonna do but believe me most of us here have been in this situation. Most of us here have gotten our hopes up. I know I have. In the end it really was just friendship she was reaching out for. Who knows tho aside from your ex what she is looking for. That's why I'd say try to proceed with caution and not get too emotional. It is very soon for you to go into the friend zone and will definitely end up hurting you more if that's all she wants.

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No way bro! Friends sucks. Imagine being tortured everytime you see her. Knowing you can't have her. And since you agree to be friends there isn't a damn thing you can say about it. In other words, you're not in control of the situation. Wanting more, but at that point you have no grounds to ask for more because you agreed to be friends. Don't do it man. Trust us here.

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eh, i know i wouldn't be able to give that up. but if you can, you should. being friends is one thing if they don't have an agenda but people always do... my last ex wanted to be friends, kept asking me to be and then kept on taking passive aggressive slags at me 0_0. anyway, my point is... don't expect too much. if she's dodgy, drop her like a hot potattooo.

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^^^i really didnt agree on being friends with her. i made it perfectly clear when we broke up that i did not want to be friends with her. I guess the reason why i have accepted her invitaion is to show her that i am ok with things and that im not needy and clingy anymore and that im a confident person which i think she will not expect. I just kinda want to get a feel for her actions if she was to see me and see if shes giving me any indication of whats truly in her mind. If i feel that its never going to work out, then im gonna let go, and ignore her attempts of contacting me. I have been changing into a better person these past couple months, and i don't think i am as desperate as much as a i was before. I'm pretty confident that i'm able to maintain my composure and be emotionally stable if i was to see her. I just want to get a feel of how things are between us at this moment, see if shes giving me any hints that she still has feelings for me. She has been going through a rough time these past couple months with family issues as well, and maybe perhaps she's not ready to jump back into a relationship at this very moment. But i do have to take all of this with caution though, i kno probably right now she's just trying to check up on me and see if im still there, and that she may want to string me along for emotional support with the problems shes facing right now. i feel though that the best way to know for sure if things will work out is if i'm actually around her and can read her by her actions rather than words. i dunno, am i wrong for thinking this way? should i give it a shot and see what happens. If i feel that there aint ever gonna be anything more there than just a friendship, i'm not really scared of shutting her out of my life completely....what do u guys think??

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I say good luck. I know even 6 months after my break up, I'm still not able to do the friends thing. Why should I put myself through that toruture. Read my thread. I got handed the 'friend card', but kept reading into things. If you do try, you must keep your head on straight and NOT read into things at all.

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ya we'll see what happens. Like i said, friendship with her is not an option with me and i told her that before, i guess im just doing the friends thing temporarily to try to get a vibe off her to see if a future with us is promising. I dunno if i'll be able to find out after one meeting, but i know i ain't gonna wait too long, sooner or later we're either gonna come to a conclusion as to trying again as a couple whether its now or in the near future or im moving on for good, even though its a hard thing to do, i will always love her, but eh you got to do what u got to do.....

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See man you seem to have a level head and a good plan. That's great. The only thing I'd be worried about it plans always fall apart. You say you want to see her actions, don't think for a second she won't be flirty, touchy/feely with you. This is an example of one of those things you might read into by her actions but that doesn't mean she wants to try again see what I'm saying. It is just a situation prone to confusion but I understand the want to try and see whats there.

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