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wow. dont know what else to say right now..


eaglesnutter
Feeling like a failure, mum? This i...
Feeling like a failure, mum? This is what you need to hear

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I could really do with some advice right about now. I seriously did not know where to post this, but as it also involves my son i thought it would go here?

 

My sons father just called me on the phone, I split up with him over 6 years ago, and have not seen or spoken to him for over 2 years now. he sees our son every weekend though (our son is 11 and usually goes around himself after school or whatever) and that is the part where the problem is.

 

He basically just told me on the phone, that all his life he has wanted to be a woman, he dresses up in womans clothing daily, shaves every bit of his body hair off including his eyebrows, he finds men more attractive than woman, and the biggest thing: he has been on the waiting list for the last 18 months for a sex change operation. he has also been seeing a phsychietrist (sorry spelling) for the past 2 years.

 

I couldnt care less if hes a man, woman, gay, straight etc, my problem is, he wants to tell our son, and i am torn on what to do, do i tell my 11 year old child that his father will soon be a woman? and that he likes men? or do i not say anything until he is older and more able to understand?

 

i have never been in a situation like this before and i want to do the right thing, i dont want to mess my sons life up.

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This is no doubt a confusing time for you, and I too would be a little shocked if I heard this news from someone I was once in a relationship with.

 

I can understand your concerns about your son, but I don't really think you have time to wait until he is older, unless you intend to keep him away from his father until you think he would understand why.

 

If he sees his father every week he may have already suspected something was 'different' and may already be confused as to why his dad is different.

 

11 years old is not THAT young and he may understand more than you think. I think you should sit down with him and explain what is happening to his father, what he is doing and what it will mean for the future. Let him ask any questions he wants and don't make him feel that he has to immediately 'understand' or not judge. He is a child and might feel negative about it, let him express himself and see where to move on from there.

 

He may just simply accept everything and be fine about it, but you need to talk to him and give him the chance to be involved in such a big part of his father's life.

 

Make sure your own opinions on the matter are kept out of the conversation with your son, let him form his own opinion on the matter and good luck.

 

Let us know how you get on x

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Well, his dad is going to do it, so I would let his dad be the one to tell him. And be there for back up when your boy has questions or when he is confused. He will have conflicting thoughts about this through the years. you may want to find yourself a support group and talk to them. See how they have dealt with this issue with their kids. You are not the only one, but they have "been there done that" I think they would have a lot of good info for you.

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