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Lasting longer during sex


MT1981
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Hi Guys/Gals,

 

Just want to know what I can do to last longer during sex.

 

Been with my girl 7 months now, and she is just the best. At the moment when we do have sex, its usually 2 or 3 times in the one night and its like this:

 

Warm up - lots of kissing, touching, rubbing, licking etc etc - lasts around 10 mins

 

1st round: i last maybe 30 seconds - 1 minute

 

break for 5 mins, and just cuddle.

 

2nd round: i last maybe 2mins - 3 mins

 

break for another 5-7 mins and cuddle.

 

3rd round: i last perhaps 7 mins.

 

Bonus round: I make her orgasm by using my tongue and fingers.

 

But what I want to know is how can I get the 1st round to be about 5 mins at the very least?? I tried everything and its just not working. I suspect that i cant last very long due to the fact that I am very concerned about not lasting very long.

 

She says its ok, and that the love making session starts from when we start to kiss and remove our clothes. But how long will she keep viewing it like that? I need to show her that I can go longer.

 

Oh and as shes on 'the pill', i dont use condoms, so it makes it harder to last....

 

Any ideas welcome.....

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Oh man. 30 seconds? She must be a sex Goddess, or you're just an easy target I kid, I kid! I last a good 10-15 mins first go, I think it really depends on the person. How about just YOU masturbating before hand? Take a quick shower, take care of your own business, then give it a go?

 

Try out different positions, which ones make you "go" quickest, use them later on. Or just try basically forcing yourself, mentally, to hold on a little while. I know it can be extremely difficult, but just focus on her, her needs, her satisfaction, and not focusing it all what you're feeling.

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Oh man. 30 seconds? She must be a sex Goddess, or you're just an easy target I kid, I kid! I last a good 10-15 mins first go, I think it really depends on the person. How about just YOU masturbating before hand? Take a quick shower, take care of your own business, then give it a go?

 

Try out different positions, which ones make you "go" quickest, use them later on. Or just try basically forcing yourself, mentally, to hold on a little while. I know it can be extremely difficult, but just focus on her, her needs, her satisfaction, and not focusing it all what you're feeling.

 

hehe....well to me shes my sex goddess. I am very inexperienced in the bed room...so the 30 second thing is something that I am not proud of, because I cant seem to shake it off - nerves perhaps? Shes very understanding about it right now......but for how long - thats the question.

 

When i try and not focus on what I am feeling, my "boy" decides that he will also not focus on what i am feeling....so yeah. The masturbation thing might be a good thing, but I cant keep doing that (specially when we go on our weekends away - she might hear it!)

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lmao @ Syn with the drunk comment. I hear that 100%. Man, I've had exes beg me to just stop, after a good 2 hours of hardcore sex, because they came 57329875 times and I'm still at it like a champ!

 

So, no, probably not the best idea, you'll turn into the Hulk, and she'll be sore...

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Who cares if she hears it bro, it's natural! I had an ex, that woke up on a few occasions to me "pleasuring myself" even after a hot session an hour before, and she was ready to go all over again! A lot of girls find it hot.

If you're away, she's not going to hear you in the shower, unless you're moaning and beating your chest like Hercules in the process!

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yup all about her = you last alot longer.there are apperntly techniques you can learn, i cant recommend any, i am what i am

 

you could try getting drunk, when im drunk i can barely keep it up, let alone finish lol.

 

also - ever think you might just be over thinking it? your placing alot of pressure on yourself in the bedroom and that might be the reason.

 

1) i dont drink - i have stopped drinking - so that i cant do.....

 

2) but I guess you guys are right, focus on her getting the pleasure - cos ideally thats what I am trying to do anyway. And yes, I think your right, with the pressure on myself to perform for her thing.

 

Thing is also my last ex - she also put so much pressure on me (i think i can only remember having sex with her 5 times) - but the first time i had sex with her, and i finished too early - i saw the look of disgust on her face.....and i can still remember it. She was not happy that it finished early, and she was not happy that we couldnt go again......

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There are alot of phyical characteristics that are part of being a young male that you can't help. Being excited to that point probably makes her feel good about herself. As far as how to correct your own personal problem you can use mind control. Think about cutting the grass, or work out a geometry problem in your head. You could use a desensatizing gel as well. If I were going to do that I would try to apply it 30 minutes or so before you have sex and clean yourself off really well. You don't want to desensatize her.

 

Once you get a little older you will have more control over your orgasm and will be able to decide when you want to have your orgasm. Good luck, Troop.

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1) i dont drink - i have stopped drinking - so that i cant do.....

 

2) but I guess you guys are right, focus on her getting the pleasure - cos ideally thats what I am trying to do anyway. And yes, I think your right, with the pressure on myself to perform for her thing.

 

Thing is also my last ex - she also put so much pressure on me (i think i can only could having sex with her 5 times) - but the first time i had sex with her, and i finished too early - i saw the look of disgust on her face.....and i can still remember it. She was not happy that it finished early, and she was not happy that we couldnt go again......

 

oh man, the first time i had sex, i lasted like 2 minutes, it was her first time as well, you know what she said after? "is that it?" try living that down xD.

 

but hey , few years on, ive recently slept with a couple of girls that are mutual friends with one of my friends and apperently im great in bed so practice does make perfect .

 

lol "is that it".....................god i hate her...

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Dude, forget your ex. We've all "jumped the gun" on more than one occasion, if anything they should take it as a compliment! As long as its not everytime, of course

 

I'm telling you bro, masturbation! If you gotta get 2-3 nuts before she comes over/you see her whatever, do it. It'll relax you to the max, and you can focus on pleasing her. Instead of spending only 10 mins doing kissing/touching/rubbing etc...spend 10-15 mins JUST on her from the get go. Nothing but that good ol' foreplay, learn her body, what makes her tick, use your fingers, tongue, spell the Alphabet out on her clit, just focus on her for a while before you go in for the "kill".

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it shouldn't really matter - be grateful you're getting sex most girls aren't impressed with porn sex anyways - the kind that goes on for hours and hours till the girl nods off in boredom - I believe it's quality not quantity anyways.

 

im not talking porn sex - im talking just enough to finish off a nice night together.....you know what i mean. Like 5 mins or something of doing the 'deed' - but the other stuff can go on for longer (i think we both prefer the touching and the kissing and all that more) - the orgasms is just a bonus....

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it shouldn't really matter - be grateful you're getting sex most girls aren't impressed with porn sex anyways - the kind that goes on for hours and hours till the girl nods off in boredom - I believe it's quality not quantity anyways.

 

im a guy and im not interested in porn, hell why do i want a 1 hour movie for 5 minutes of fun?

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One whole aspect to this your missing is the mental part of it. Don't worry about time. Enjoy being with her. Look for the little subtle things. Things like how the light reflects off that cute little area between her pelvis and stomach. Enjoy how soft she is and how amazing she smells. Look into her eyes, hold her hands. It's not a contest to see if you can make her sore for a week, its about connecting with her and sharing something special.

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ok something i just grabbed from a site for you =-

 

THE TRICKS TO LASTING LONGER

 

1. Relax and increase your body awareness

 

There are very many techniques out there to help you relax and be more able to 'feel' your body. As a yoga practitioner I have experience with very many powerful relaxation, meditation and breathing techniques.

 

Perhaps the simplest one is just paying attention to your breathing during sex. Not controlling it, just noticing it.

 

2. Focus on pleasure in sex, rather than sexual performance.

 

Let go of any expectations about the outcome of sex. Going into a sexual experience with a 'plan' robs you of any ability to be open minded.

 

You cannot learn from sex if you are focused on how it should look.

 

Instead, notice the pleasure as it is happening. The pleasure will show you what is good. It is the ultimate teacher when it comes to sex.

 

3. Increase awareness of your sexual arousal.

 

Again, open your awareness to your feelings of pleasure and pay close attention to your arousal levels. Awareness is the first step to understanding; which is itself a step towards mastery.

 

Focus on your pleasure during sex, during masturbation, or even the subtle pleasure you experience when a gorgeous woman gets on the bus.

 

4. Extend your sexual arousal to higher levels.

 

There are many techniques you can learn to extend your pleasure. As you become more aware of your sexual arousal a natural increase in your arousal level is inevitable.

 

This will happen because you will become familiar and comfortable with your pleasure, and your body will propel you to greater heights naturally.

 

Be sure to practice sex and pleasure often, so your body can keep teaching you.

 

5. Master your sexual arousal consistently at higher levels.

 

As your sexual pleasure naturally increases with more practice, you will begin to 'play' with it.

 

Manipulate your breathing patterns, sexual energy field and subtle internal sensations, to the point that you can begin to feel mastery over them.

 

Again, ancient wisdom, sex manuals and other people's experiences are full of eye opening possibilities.

 

6. Become accustomed to a steady level of intense arousal.

 

Get into the habit of building your sexual pleasure and indulging in it fully. Let the moments you feel pleasure expand.

 

Let the arousal continue as if it didn't need to end ever. It will of course, but you don't care when ... just let it happen.

 

7. Stop thinking

 

Drop your conscious mind out of the picture. Investigate or experiment with techniques to get your internal dialogue to shut up.

 

Experience all of this intense and joyous pleasure, not in your head, not by thinking about it ... but in your body. Feel it!

 

THE KEY is connecting more deeply to your own sensations and feelings.

 

all points already made by members but there it all is in one list for you.

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One whole aspect to this your missing is the mental part of it. Don't worry about time. Enjoy being with her. Look for the little subtle things. Things like how the light reflects off that cute little area between her pelvis and stomach. Enjoy how soft she is and how amazing she smells. Look into her eyes, hold her hands. It's not a contest to see if you can make her sore for a week, its about connecting with her and sharing something special.

 

Haha - THIS sounds so romantic but then again I'm probably getting a bit jaded...I ROFL at the 'making someone sore for a week' part - she ain't Sea Biscuit matey! hehe....

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i would like to dispel one train of thought...we women don't really like long sex (mind you 30 seconds is a bit short ) we like lots of foreplay, we like switching positions but if the actual sex goes longer than 20 min i get kind of bored...my own experience of course..but my cooch can only take so much at one time...

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What I'm going to write was basically covered in Syntax's above post but what I found is you just have to be aware of your "over the edge" point. It will take some practice but you CAN mentally force yourself to last longer. I've noticed a huge difference over the years.

 

Basically... before you reach orgasm, STOP and hold... breathe deeply and concentrate on NOT orgasming. Think of something else, even. But concentrate! Slowly, the feeling will subside, and you can continue. Of course you may have to do this every 30-seconds until you train yourself better.

 

What also might help is doing this while masturbating. Bring yourself really close and stop... see if you can withhold. And try again.

 

Good thing about all of this is the practice is so much fun!

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