In Need of a Parent's Opinion, I've Been Hiding a Boyfriend for 10 Months

[ashley001]

I'm 17 and I've been hiding a boyfriend for 10 months.

 

My parents and I never really had an open conversation about relationships, dating, sex, etc. I never had "the talk" with them and they've always avoided the subject on dating. My parents are separated, but living in the same house, my mom is anti-marriage and doesn't believe in love and my dad is okay with dating, but he just wants to be OVERLY involved in my dating life (meaning he'd want to actually come on the date with me). This doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable with talking to them about this.

 

I'm a senior in high school and I NEVER expected to get a boyfriend, but it turns out that one of my best guy friends turned into something more. This was January, everyday I told myself, "I'm gonna tell them today!"...and it never happened. I went behind their back tell them I was going to a girlfriends' house but I'd hang out with him and I purposefully avoid places I know my parents may go. I hide our pictures together, etc.

 

I've never been one to hide things from my parents. Now that my relationship with my boyfriend is getting a little more serious...since we've been becoming intimate and all...I kinda wish my parents were there to talk to or something. Part of me wants to tell them, but another part of me just wants to hold off for the rest of the school year and then just move away to college...i don't know.

 

just want parent's opinions if i was your daughter.

[hers]

Has your dad specifically said he'd want to chaperone you? Do you actually go on "dates" with your boyfriend or just hang out places, like at his house or something?

 

Are they just completely opposed to you having a boyfriend all together or just opposed to you having sex as a teenager?

[ashley001]

Has your dad specifically said he'd want to chaperone you? Do you actually go on "dates" with your boyfriend or just hang out places, like at his house or something?

 

Are they just completely opposed to you having a boyfriend all together or just opposed to you having sex as a teenager?

 

Yes, he has said, "Once you start dating...etc."

 

Yes, we go on dates and we also hang out in public and at his house.

 

They're opposed to both.

[JadedStar]

If you were my daughter and 17 i would understand that you are at the age to have a b/f and i would be very understanding.

 

Hopefully your parents are as understanding as i wuold be.

 

I don't think there is anything to be ashamed of here. You are at an age where this is very normal.

[denise_14]

hmmm, i think your bf should accompany you when you finally tell your parents about it. it's a courageous act to face parents and i think your parents would appreciate that. of course, don't expect they'll get easy on you at first, but they would definitely appreciate the honesty.

[ButterflyWrists]

i saw one thread on here a short while ago, where the boyfriend asked the parents permission to date their daughter. worked a treat for them, lol.

 

do they know your friends? how about say things have moved on a little more. idk.

 

I've hidden relationships from my family too, my mum would freak at some of them lol.

[Appleseed]

Tell them asap.

 

I have been hiding a boyfriend from my parents (well, one of them) for 16 months now. I was already out of high school when we started dating, but I was still living with my parents and I knew they thought he was too old for me. I've been living on my own for many, many months now and I still haven't told them. It's so ridiculous at this point--I attend all of his family functions and spend time with his family, yet he hasn't even met my parents. I'm just trying to say that it doesn't get easier once you go off to college or move out.

 

At this point, and I'm guessing in your situation too, the big issue is no longer the boyfriend, it's how hurt your (and my) parents are going to feel when they realize how long they've been lied to.

 

Every month it gets so much harder to bring it up. Don't dig the hole any deeper--just tell them!