Jump to content

Breaking up with step children


sad_lady

Recommended Posts

We have been together for over 6 years. He has 2 children, ages 7 & 8. they are my world! I love his family, his kids, but sometimes I feel that my love for him is gone. He is very selfish and childish. When things get tough, instead of talking, he starts to looking for someone new online. We are in terrible financial trouble and doesn't seem concerned. In fact, he is planning an expensive trip for himself at the end of the year. I am worried about putting food on the table and paying the electricity & water bills. I know I am not the easiest person to live with, and since having a hysterectomy 5 years ago, my sexual appetite has greatly diminished. Now it's nearly null because of all the stress I am under. I can't tell him that because of his attitude and lack of responsibility I am repulsed by him. I am afraid I love the family more than him. I am now at my breaking point and feel I need to leave, but leaving the kids will break their heart and mine. I can't have children of my own and these kids are my life. Their biological mother is a hateful self-centered woman. I always felt like I was their go-to gal and their example of someone trying to live a good honest life. I am feeling a little trapped. I have wanted to work things out with my finace time and time again. I have talked rationally. When that didn't work, I yelled. We are just going through the motions now. I am not really sure why I am here on this site seeking advice. I know what I need to do, I just don't have the courage to do it. ANY ADVICE?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you choose to leave him (which is probably the best thing you can do for yourself), you will have to accept the fact that he may not want you in his childrens' life. Although you have been with the children since they were very very young, legally I am not sure if you would have any rights as far as visitation. I would suggest you talk to a lawyer about that. For your own well-being, however, this is a situation that you need to get out of regardless of the issue with the children.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

See if you can get him to go to relationship counseling.. and also financial counseling!! If he won't, maybe you could go yourself. It would be good if you could calmly explain your feelings to him & try not to blame him. He needs to know how you feel about your relationship and how concerned you are over the financial situation. Even if some things are "his fault", he will get defensive & stop listening if he detects that you are blaming him.

 

You should prepare yourself if this relationship doesn't work out. Do you have loans together? Plan on either paying it off yourself or having your credit ruined. It's unfortunate that he isn't financially responsible. You need to take care of the bills that are in your name. If you break up, try to end it on as good of terms as possible. It's going to be difficult for him to manage 2 kids by himself, so if you tell him you'd still like to spend time with the kids he might be ok with that. It sucks when you have to do more than your "share" but sometimes it works out best for you in the end to do it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Our fathers are brothers and our mo...
Our fathers are brothers and our mothers are sisters, our relationship? | Michael's Hut

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...