confused_255 Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 So i read one of my ex's blogs today, and it says she's missing our friendship, well its day 21 of NC, it also says that she thinks i called her a * * * * * and a * * * * * . which i never did.... should i just leave her to think that or should i message her and just say that i didn't so those things, i would like a friendship with her in the future... but this could ruin it... i don't want to ruin the friendship but im doing so good on NC... also i should add should i even feel bad about that she thinks this? shes been telling people that i haven't stopped calling her, i have been waiting down the street watching her house and i have been doing none of these things... could this be just another way someone said something and she deciphered it in her own way in her mind to try to console herself of what has happened? help? Link to comment
misspiggyfire Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 If she has been telling people lies about you to make you look bad then I would continue with NC because from the sounds of it she isn't even worth having in your life even as a friend. What exactly do you want from her? Just to be her friend? Link to comment
confused_255 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Share Posted October 15, 2008 If she has been telling people lies about you to make you look bad then I would continue with NC because from the sounds of it she isn't even worth having in your life even as a friend. What exactly do you want from her? Just to be her friend? right now? nothing. but maybe someday we could be friends again, and i think telling lies about me to other people is her way of coping with the fact that she is trying to convince herself she made the right choice when we broke up to act the way she did. i think this could be another one of those things where she is trying to convince herself i said those things to make herself feel like her actions are acceptable Link to comment
misspiggyfire Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 It sounds like you are still harbouring some feelings for her. I would continue with NC and let her contact you. If she was the one that made a mistake and wants to be friends with you she will approach you. Stay strong and carry on what you were doing. Link to comment
littlestar Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 What's made her think you callled her those names? Link to comment
Kahdeksan Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 right now? nothing. but maybe someday we could be friends again, and i think telling lies about me to other people is her way of coping with the fact that she is trying to convince herself she made the right choice when we broke up to act the way she did. i think this could be another one of those things where she is trying to convince herself i said those things to make herself feel like her actions are acceptable Heh, contrary to what your name states, you're not one bit confused, as you pretty much nailed the reason above. She is doing this to not only get the attention from friends and indeed you, but to attain a form of relief for the hurt she's having to deal with. One of which is that she finds it extremely hard to cope with the level of duress, so she results to bad mouthing you in an immature and sociopath kinda way. Link to comment
confused_255 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Share Posted October 15, 2008 What's made her think you callled her those names? i was discussing the fact that she already has another boyfriend with one of the people she goes to school with, but i never said anything along the lines of calling her a * * * * * or a * * * * * . Link to comment
arwen Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 I may be a bit more practical on this, but just stop reading her blog. It's a form of contact that in some way is even worse than actually contacting her. By reading her blog, checking myspace/facebook pages, you will have much more room to make up your story around what you read. And where does it get you? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Heh, contrary to what your name states, you're not one bit confused, as you pretty much nailed the reason above. She is doing this to not only get the attention from friends and indeed you, but to attain a form of relief for the hurt she's having to deal with. One of which is that she finds it extremely hard to cope with the level of duress, so she results to bad mouthing you in an immature and sociopath kinda way. I totally agree. It is also a way of baiting you to get you to contact her...remember people who are messed up view negative contact as just as good as positive contact. It reminds me of a dog misbehaving just to get attention from the owner...negative attention is better than no attention. Just continue giving her no attention. Let her lie...eventually those friends will figure it out and realize she is a nutcase. Link to comment
confused_255 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Share Posted October 15, 2008 I totally agree. It is also a way of baiting you to get you to contact her...remember people who are messed up view negative contact as just as good as positive contact. It reminds me of a dog misbehaving just to get attention from the owner...negative attention is better than no attention. Just continue giving her no attention. Let her lie...eventually those friends will figure it out and realize she is a nutcase. who knows how long this will take but its true. already i can tell she is missing me, but as the days go on, i miss her less, ofc i am still harbouring some feelings for her but slowly i am getting better, i didnt want to contact her but now i def know im doing the right thing bby not contact her at all. i dont want to break my 21 days im doing so good!! she kept asking my roomate to get me to take her her stuff and i just said how dare her. since my roomate moved away, she isnt getting her stuff for along time cuz im not breaking NC for a few shirts a sweater and couple other things. haha well once she realizes how much of a loser she is dating now she will be crawling back to me soon enough they always do. but after time goes on i raelize idont want her back ever, this time has been awesome for me, i still have hard days and i have good days, but i realize i deserve someone who isn't going to lie to their friends about things im doing especially when i haven't even tried contacting her for a full 3 weeks !!!!! Link to comment
acex13 Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Good job on your NC. I personally have a rule to destroy all ties with my ex's. This way it makes getting over the person and the break up much easier, and it prevents any problems in future relationships. Link to comment
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