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Just a vent.


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I feel so out of control of my emotions/feelings. I'm pretty sure it's the birth control I'm on but I don't want to give up on it - it cost me a pretty penny and it was hard getting to the doctor to get them.


Lately I just feel so hopeless and lonely. I used to feel so in-control of my emotions; I knew where I wanted my life to go, and it was headed in a positive direction, I was sure of myself and confident in myself and what I was doing.


But now I feel so insecure. I worry about every little thing I say/do, including the moodswings caused by the BC. I feel so unsure of myself and I worry that my boyfriend is losing interest in me. I cry at the drop of a hat and little things that normally wouldn't bother me do. I feel hopeless and afraid of losing my friends.


I've already alienated quite a few people with my sudden plunge into depression. I have a history of feeling depressed, but it's something I'd managed to overcome. I think the added hormones are what's causing it to come back again.


I feel like this isn't me. Like I'm trapped inside some person I don't want to be. I don't know if this is something you're supposed to wait out or what. I've already said that if this hasn't improved in 2 weeks I'm taking it out, but in the meantime I feel as if I won't even last the 2 weeks.

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