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dl217

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Hey everyone,

 

I came here because at the time of night it is, I have no other option. I'm doing worse than I have in a long time for something that shouldn't have affected me at all. Just a warning, it's gonna be a tad long. Please bare with me, I implore you to read my story and give your much valued input.

 

The beginning of the story goes as is, I met a girl (no names here), who of course I liked when I first met her. She tried to get me to sleep with her after only a week. I know for most guys, this is a blessing; for me however, it's not my thing. Needless to say, things progressed quite rapidly, and within the second week, with much persistence on her part, we slept together.

 

For about 3 months, things were going well. We spent a good amount of time together, but near the end, I felt something wasn't right. Surely enough, she broke it off, and for a while, I still had some strong feelings for her.

 

A month later, I started dating another girl who I felt an amazing connection with. We dated for about a month, while me and the ex spoke somewhat rarely, maybe once every week or two. One day, the ex called me and said she's not well. She told me she felt like an idiot and needs someone to talk to. Being the caring guy that I am, I told her -- with utter stupidity -- that she could come over and we could talk about it. When I asked what was wrong, guess what came out? "I never should have broken up with you," she said. She -- without knowing -- tried to get me into bed by cornering me into my bedroom, near the bed. Of course, I told her no, because I was seeing someone. She was upset but understood. Even knowing I wasn't available, she wanted to hang out a lot. She always tried to get me to kiss her, which I resisted.

 

Moving on, my current GF and I were on the verge of a breakup, and I idiotically told this to my ex. She almost got me into bed when I turned away and said "I can't do this, not yet," and we stopped. She left, and from there, things were never the same.

 

When things were finally and officially over with the current GF, without her knowing things were over, I contacted the older ex, and tried to get together for a bit; however, that didn't happen. She never wanted to see me, she rarely called, and it started to bother me. I got to the point where I told her that I didn't really care one way or another if she was in my life as a way of moving on. She seemed disappointed.

 

From there on in, I tried to avoid contacting her to try and move on. For a short time, it worked.

 

Unfortunately, that didn't last. A week ago, she contacted me and told me that her best friend of 12 years moved to another province (in Canada). I felt bad, and told her I'd be there for her to talk if she needed.

 

So she contacted me just today, and said she had an extra ticket for an NBA Basketball game and asked if I wanted to go. I put her on hold for a minute because I had to confer with someone to see if plans were still on for the night. Things weren't, so I came back and said "Yep, I can make it. So what's the plan?" Guess what happened next? "Sorry, my dad said he wants to go now," she said. Of course, this ticked me off. Before I could even utter a single word, she said "Gotta go," and hung up.

 

The whole day since then has been in the dumps. I haven't been able to enjoy myself at all. I've been sitting here listening to some pretty hard rock, metal actually, and drinking a few beers with my roommate.

 

I don't know what to do. I didn't realize it till today, but I still have VERY strong feelings for her, despite how badly she treats me. I can't decide what to do, or what to say to her. I'm hurting as bad, if not worse than I was when we broke up nearly a year ago. The worst thing is, in the past few weeks, I've had a one night stand (mutual choice), as well as I'm interested in this EXTREMELY hot girl. In fact, she's one of the hottest girls I've ever laid my eyes on. Still, my ex-girlfriend, whom is of course attractive to me, still completely dominates my mind.

 

I know this was long, but if anybody made it through, thanks for listening (reading) and any input that can be given would be greatly appreciated.

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I don't know what to do. I didn't realize it till today, but I still have VERY strong feelings for her, despite how badly she treats me. I can't decide what to do, or what to say to her. I'm hurting as bad, if not worse than I was when we broke up nearly a year ago. The worst thing is, in the past few weeks, I've had a one night stand (mutual choice), as well as I'm interested in this EXTREMELY hot girl. In fact, she's one of the hottest girls I've ever laid my eyes on. Still, my ex-girlfriend, whom is of course attractive to me, still completely dominates my mind

 

Man I was just there a month ago. After 5 months, my ex called me and was all crying and everything. We hung out for a bit and of course all those feelings came rushing back in.

 

The one thing that I can totaly relate to is when you said despite how she treats you you still have feelings for her. Yeah I felt the same way and in some aspect still do but let me tell you this is crazy thinking. My ex was mean as a person could be and treated me terrible.

 

I realized though after time away from her I began to think about how she treated me and the kind of person she really was and I thought my god there has got to be someone out there that would treat me like the way I deserve to be treated or at least treat me like a human being. When you think about it, It would be much better emmotionaly and mentaly to deal with someone that actualy treats you right then to have someone that is mean to you.

 

I think that the best thing to do is distance yourself from this girl. In my case she shut me out and that forced me to stay away from her and I think that really helped me because now when I go out I do look at other girls with some optimisim and wonder may be she will be the one that treats me better.

 

Time is the biggest thing and the greatest help you can give yourself. In time, your head clears up a bit and you begin to see things with alittle more clarity which right now you are all wrapped up in the emmotions and you are not thinking right. "You got to get your mind right boy" (Cool Hand Luke quote there

 

What Iam saying is, it is very easy to picture someone as being all that and a bag of chips but like you even said you know she treats you bad and thats not cool.

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Yeah. I guess I know deep down that the only way I'm gonna get over her is to cut her outta my life, but I've tried doing that already by not calling her, texting, or starting a conversation on msn whenever she's online. I guess it wasn't enough, because she would sometimes start conversations with me online, and being the guy I am, I didn't ignore her.

 

So, I guess the best thing is to just ignore her completely. Or maybe I should tell her how I feel, as well as telling her that I can't continue to talk to her anymore.

 

Thanks for the reply.

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Yeah. I guess I know deep down that the only way I'm gonna get over her is to cut her outta my life, but I've tried doing that already by not calling her, texting, or starting a conversation on msn whenever she's online. I guess it wasn't enough, because she would sometimes start conversations with me online, and being the guy I am, I didn't ignore her.

 

So, I guess the best thing is to just ignore her completely. Or maybe I should tell her how I feel, as well as telling her that I can't continue to talk to her anymore.

 

Thanks for the reply.

 

you need to ignore her completely, my ex is the same way, she acts happy and very sarcastic, and is rude to me, after we broke up she quickly got another boyfriend and i havent had any form of contact with her for 22 days, (gogo me !!) i recently did read her blog and said she was missing my friendship yet she also put on there that i was calling her names, which i didnt do, another sure way of trying to cope, i can tell shes missing me already but i dont want her back !! ignore her completely and realize that you deserve someone way better that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, just like i will find someone who treats me the way i deserve to be treated.

 

good luck friend, no contact is a godsend

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