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Hi

 

Lately I have feeling a lot of regrets because of NC. Now that 2 years have passed, I think it's time to stop avoinding her. There's some nice places where I used to go which I rarely go these days. It's time to meet again...but it makes me feel really unconfortable to be near her.

It's not because of any hopes, I don't have hopes. Now that she stopped to make random contacts, now that she sent me happy birthday wishes 3 days later, I think that even the mere possibility of a friendship is lost. Sometimes I have these urges to call her: "Hey, let's meet for a coffee!" but I can't imagine myself being myself near her. I think what happened between us will always get in our way, ay least from my side.

Wouldn't it be good if we could meet again without our past between us? Wouldn't it be great if we could meet again tomorrow, for the first time as if we never met before?

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That's an incredibly optimistic way to think, but unfortunately it's unrealistic. I would LOVE the opportunity to try again with a girl I'm absolutely gaga over right now, but it wont happen.

 

The best you can do is remain civil if contact is necessary. Just because you have a history doesn't mean it has to surface to the present.

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ya that is a conundrum. But i suppose its one of those things that you wont know until you try, because whats the worst that could happen? and conversely what the best that could happen? I believe you'll find one out weigh the other and therein your decision, but i dont know lol. goodluck

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Is there a valid reason why you feel you "need" to have a friendship when you have been doing just fine without one? If you will feel uncomfortable around her, why not let it go? There is no altrusitic need out there, or there shouldn't be, that says we should be friends with our ex.

 

Let her get on with her life. Get on with yours.

 

And it might be nice to meet like you never met before, but it won't happen. It can't. You can change your future but you cannot erase your past.

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Is there a valid reason why you feel you "need" to have a friendship when you have been doing just fine without one? If you will feel uncomfortable around her, why not let it go? There is no altrusitic need out there, or there shouldn't be, that says we should be friends with our ex.

 

A valid reason....well, I think a lot that not being able to be around her after 2 years is damaging my self-esteem 'cause I think it's not natural. We have common friends which makes things worse.

The fact is that today I can see what happened from a different point of view, we are both humans, not perfect. We both made mistakes. Even though, I still can't feel confortable near her.

I can understand and accept what happened, and I have forgive myself for the mistakes I've done so why can't I feel at ease with her?

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She hasn't stopped going where she may bump into you, why should you? if you see her so what? if you avoid her she'll notice you're avoiding her and it'll make the situation worse.

 

best thing--try to forget. if you can't then occupy your mind. keep a game system in hand or some music. maybe a good book/mg. it's not avoiding if you're occupied.

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She knows I'm avoiding her.

During the first year after the break up, she knew I was avoiding her because it would mean a lot of pain if I were next to her.

No, 2 years have passed, and she noticed that some patterns of my life are not happening anymore (like not going to the same places as she, appear online to her in MSN - I've deleted and blocked her, etc).

The last time we met she asked me directly if I had blocked her on MSN and I told her that I've changed, now I prefer to talk face to face.

So, she's probably thinking that I don't care about her anymore.

I've moved on much more than it sounds in my post. But as you know, somedays are ok while other are not. Everytime I start to think about to call her I think to myself "Today I won't contact her. Let's see about tomorrow."

Probably when I feel completely healed I won't care about her anymore.

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