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Is this Normal after finishing?! Advice plz!


Beoslasher

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So let me start off by saying that I masterbate on a pretty normal basis.

But I notice that most of the time when I finish, that euphoric feeling I have diminishes within seconds, and I feel like I want to distance myself away from the thought or idea.

 

Example: I'm thinking of a girl I like while I'm going to town, but as soon as I'm done, I want nothing to do with her, I dont want to talk to her, think about her anything.

 

So my fear is, lets say I have sex (I've had sex I had sex during times where i was not sure what i was wanting so now im waiting for a meaningful relationship) with a girl I really like/ love, and we are done, will this feeling of me wanting to runaway come back. I dont know if its in my blood or if its just me feeling guilty for what i've done.

 

This makes me think of the scene in "When Harry Met Sally" after they have sex and he wants to leave =P

 

ADVICE?

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Its because your determined to get off and thats it. There is no interaction with another person. Your palm does not twiddle its hair in that cute way, or cook your favorite meal when you get home from a rough day, those are some things that reenforce a good realtionship; then theres good sex. If you are with the right girl sex will be ten thousand times better than shwakin it, before, during and after periods of arousal. Don't let the training wheels fool you, its not the real thing.

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You bring up good pts. I'm a natural cuddler, i love to cuddle, and I'm very romantic, but it was a bit unnerving to think about, being that insensitive of a jerk =P

 

Your palm does not twiddle its hair in that cute way, or cook your favorite meal when you get home from a rough day, those are some things that reenforce a good realtionship

 

That is a very good pt. lol, I'd have a talented hand lol =P

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I think that's a perfectly valid concern because I've read other threads on players boards of people feeling exactly the same thing when they have gotten what they wanted from a girl they were into -- they are all of the sudden repulsed and start hating her, and this has happened quite a number of times.

 

However, the thing is you release allot of pent-up energies when you masturbate, and it sort of puts you to sleep from pursuing real girls out there because you've already lifted the lid of the kettle and all the steam pressure has gone out which may have motivated you. Once the energies are all released, then you just lose interest. In that sense, my guess is that the way some people have sex is just to get off on the next conquest, get on an ego-trip and go to the next girl, will probably feel that way after having sex.

 

Whether you will feel that way nobody can really know. Even if you really love a girl, you can easily lose respect for her and despise her once the deed is done.

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Is this from experience or is there a book/source?

 

I'm a virgin so it is not from experience.

 

There are two sources. One is the Bible, an account with David's children, something about Tamar or something like that which caused a family feud.

 

As I've stated before, you can go on link removed and search through their threads as I distinctly remember one thread with that topic stating that. I do not have the time to go through it right now but recollect reading something like that.

 

I really don't have the time and patience to look for specific references out there, but I'm sure you should be able to find what should amount to common sense. There is countless threads on here that deal with the same issue anyway so I don't feel I should have to go out of my way to prove 2+2=4.

 

That being said, I'm not saying the OP is a player or anything like that. In fact, masturbating is a good thing that way, you cant break anyone's heart if you lose interest afterwards, it's totally victimless.

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I think your issue is a little bit more simplistic then you think it is. Probably just your refractory period. Lotsa us guys when we get off basically loose all sexual drive. Hence the sterotype of the man who gets off real fast, rolls over and falls asleep leaving woman unsatified. The key for sex is to make yourself last a long time before getting off. Could this be it for you?

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That being said, I'm not saying the OP is a player or anything like that

Hah I hope not, if i am, im doing a horrible job at the game =P

 

Lotsa us guys when we get off basically loose all sexual drive. Hence the sterotype of the man who gets off real fast, rolls over and falls asleep leaving woman unsatified. The key for sex is to make yourself last a long time before getting off. Could this be it for you?

 

I would hate to think that im a stereotypical guy when I finish, I really enjoy pleasuring the gal I'm with, but maybe your right. This could just be the draining period where I'm exhausted, I just wish so much bad energy would come out tho.

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If you masterbate a lot then you are conditioning this "reaction" as well. Keep in mind that our sexual responses to certain stimuli are conditioned and learned. When you masterbate are there feelings of guilt or anything immediately after? Sometimes this guilt is learned in us and sadly associated with male ejaculation. If you truly feel no guilt about your activities then awesome.

 

Also when you finish masterbating do you finish all sexual activity. Meaning do you quickly switch gears to something else? As most men, this is probably the case. Remember you body learns from your actions. This might explain why you immediately lose interest in the sexual activities that you just participated in.

 

Just a different insight...

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I really don't have the time and patience to look for specific references out there, but I'm sure you should be able to find what should amount to common sense. There is countless threads on here that deal with the same issue anyway so I don't feel I should have to go out of my way to prove 2+2=4.

 

What? No. It is NOT common sense that someone would automatically lose respect for and despise a woman he "truly loves" because he has sex with her. That's utterly ridiculous, and you're basing that presumption off of a religious text (which is inherently biased) and the discussions of individuals who use women for sex, which are also quite obviously inherently biased.

 

In my actual experience (to which you've admitted having none), a man who truly loves a woman feels closer to her upon having sex. Players do not love women; they love themselves, and they love the sensation of sex.

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But I notice that most of the time when I finish, that euphoric feeling I have diminishes within seconds, and I feel like I want to distance myself away from the thought or idea.

 

Example: I'm thinking of a girl I like while I'm going to town, but as soon as I'm done, I want nothing to do with her, I dont want to talk to her, think about her anything.

 

So my fear is, lets say I have sex (I've had sex I had sex during times where i was not sure what i was wanting so now im waiting for a meaningful relationship) with a girl I really like/ love, and we are done, will this feeling of me wanting to runaway come back. I dont know if its in my blood or if its just me feeling guilty for what i've done.

 

It is a negative feedback signal associated with your refractory period.

 

The strength and form of that negative feedback varies from person to person. Experiences can range from no negativity and continued arousal to overpowering negative emotions and associations as described already in this thread. For the record, you can count me in as someone who remembers reading a number of thread where this is an issue for guys.

 

When you are with a g/f you care about, I'd still suspect you would notice the reaction. It might not be as noticeable and might not manifest itself like it does when you are alone. I certainly wouldn't worry about it now. If it does happen, that is an excellent opportunity for you and your girl to work on good communication skills by discussing the issue.

 

Cross the bridge when you get there.

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