mca1975 Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 You are only 24! You will find love again I promise you! Link to comment
dont_know_what_2_say Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 hmmm i dont nkow i want to have a family eventually.. i think i would be ok if i at least got to have a child, even if i dont end up with someone.. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 This is the Q I've struggled with. I do fear that I'll end up alone though. I try to keep myself busy all the time but finally I've realized that I can't run away from my fears like this. I'm learning to face them. Will I be truly happy if I end up alone? no, unless I reach a stage eventually where I've accepted my singlehood as is and have found a purpose for my life. I was in a quasi relationship with a man. was I happy then? no... I don't think true happiness exists. I dont think only sadness exists either. With or without a relationship, everyone gets a mix of happiness & sadness. If you know yourself, what you want from your life, happen to find n keep the man that wants similar things from his life and is ready to define n build a life with you, then yes, you can expect to get a higher portion of happiness, I think. Just my 2 cents. Link to comment
Rokuman Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 When I wasn't in a relationship people (usually women) could tell that I was lonely just by how I looked. I don't remember being sad or anything, but I wasn't as happy as I could be. I was bitter and mean towards people who liked me because I wanted something more than a fling, so I rejected people by being rude and cold and it just left me feeling alone, like there was no one out there that I could like. Link to comment
lumu Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 people are social creatures and not meant to be alone.. so short answer is no. Link to comment
glegend Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 My girlfriend, now my ex, broke up with me a few weeks ago and I hate it. We were dating for like 6 years, since grade 7. We were supposed to be "the one" for each other. Now were not. I don't know if I can find anyone. Like I've met someone but shes taken, and I'm having a tough time meeting other girls. I'll probably end up alone, for quite a while if not till the day I die. Link to comment
Alabama Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Yes I think so. As long as I am active on something (a cause, like Global Warming). I can do just fine in the end. Link to comment
Brightest Dark Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 I have been burned royally in the love department to the point where I have had no benefits from loving someone, only heartache and knives in the back, stalking, using, wanting to take from me but give absolutely nothing in return. That really sucks. Last guy I liked turned out to be a huge liar and user. I've been single for 13 years. I'm very fussy so most guys I just don't fancy. I can't lower my standards, so I stay single. I wish I wasn't because I would love to actually be in a relationship - but I could never be in a relationship with someone I wasn't attracted to. Being shy doesn't help too. I do think I'd be heaps happier in a relationship - unless the relationship had problems. He'd need to be a good guy. I do have happiness being single - but I'd really love to experience a mutual love and the thought of being single forever is depressing. Link to comment
waveseer Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 If I end up single, so be it. I am prepared to be happy regarless of my relationship status. I can accept this possibility because I've probably had more than my fair share of relationships and I now know better than to settle for someone I can't be happy with. Link to comment
shyguy1 Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 I can honestly say that the answer would be no. Never experience the relatively minor things like sex and intimacy to... The more major things like companionship... love and parenthood.... Nope I certainly wouldn't be happy with that situation.. I wish I could be more optimistic about that not happening anyway. I think it's that never word that I mention above that makes this so hard for me personally.. I can honestly say that the closest I've ever come to experiencing any of the above aforementioned things.. was when I dated a girl for around a year way back in High School. Having 30 stare me in the face (barely a year now) and still being a virgin... having not gone on a single date in over a year.. having no women ever show even the slightest hint of affection toward me = magnified feelings of loneliness. Link to comment
mca1975 Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 My goal in life is to fall in love again, settle down and have a family - that would make me truly happy. I am not financially happy and have some emotional problems, but I have a fantastic family and friends around me - but that is just not the same as having a partner to share your life with. I live alone and I hate it about 75% of the time.... It definitely depends on what sort of person you are, so everyone is different. If you are more emotional and sensitive, you are likely to want to be with someone. If you are confident and in control, you wont have that strong need to have someone as much. Link to comment
sallyb Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 It is actually one of my biggest fear in life. I have never found love, relationships yes, love no. The guy I like now rejects me, I am still longing for him so much that it hurts everyday, but at the same time I've taken steps to try other avenues. I can't really see how to succeed seeing that I am old enough, and never been pretty from the first place. Guys go for look first, so no chance for us the uglies. I am not sure if I could be happy end up alone, but I guess if it happens, I have to accept it. Accepting the fact that I may end up alone till I die, I hope can bring me happiness. OP is still 24, you still have a long way to go. Being young is a beauty in itself, do not despair, do not think how will it be if you end up alone, it is unnecessary and will just bother you. Start being worried about it when you are 33 yo lol.... Link to comment
lumu Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Or 38 I'm cute but full figured. I know what you mean about the looks. Its hard to compete with younger beautiful women. I really want to have another child and a chance at a man who loves me and a strong family. Time is running out and I know I won't be happy without those things. Its not in my nature. I need love, sex and faithful companionship to be happy. Link to comment
bochen2 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I'm sorry you are in such a situation. To answer your questions, there are many types of "loneliness". Sometimes I feel like I could be the only person who ever exists on the face of the earth and not even feel lonely. Do you ever get that feeling where you are at one and at peace with the universe and yourself and you are so consumed by an inner bliss that resonants from your deepest soul that nothing else and no one else matters? You know, a solitude that is compelling and holistic, not a LONELY loneliness but a pleasant fulfilling self nurturing loneliness that is lonely but at the same time very connected and full of oneness and genuine happiness. But that said, if you felt this way you wouldn't have posted the question that you did so I will assume you are talking about that other kind of loneliness... Being human beings we all seek companionship. Homo sapiens are the most social creatures in existence. Being of a particular gender we seek the interest and attraction of the opposite sex... It is only natural to do so... The reason you can never feel "complete" without another "half" is many fold but I think it has more or less to do with "limbic regulation" I think in the end we come to realize our search is actually for the self & the process of a perfection of the self to reach a desired state of equilibrium where our life stories & life paths converge to the ideals & wishes we had set out for ourselves. But it helps to have someone else (other than the self; a referential point) to help us & show us the way. This phenomenon can be explained scientifically as limbic regulation: the mutual process by which two bodies regulate each other's physiological processes. Humans achieve greatest stability when they are with someone else good for them. Stability means finding people who regulate you well.. So you see there is a scientific explanation and aspect in why we inherently and subconsciousness seek intimacy and companionship and relationships... I would recommending reading the book "A General Theory of Love" if you are interested in knowing more about why you feel the way you feel.. Also since you are in the UK, it might not hurt to sign up for the eharmony uk (the UK version of Eharmony) they are currently in trial mode so you can join for free... if that is your thing. Hope you feelz better soon Link to comment
Kinetics Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 I think I can be, but it will require a job that I love with a salary cap that satisfies my lifestyle. I have a nice job, but I don't like it, however I like my salary and it does satisfy my lifestyle. Since I am single and have had no luck finding a date, I share my wealth and happiness with those around me. Ideally that would have been shared more with my partner, but since she does not exist, everything goes to everybody else. I mentioned this before...if I don't get married, I'd adopt a child. That'll be my way of providing love to another person. Link to comment
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