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Where will it end? And will it?


Edak
How To LiVe Your Truth
How To LiVe Your Truth

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Hey everyone

 

I strive to not be like this, but I fear it's who I am. I want to live for the moment, not live for the future. I say this because I'm always acting toward "I'll be happy when". Then I get that and something else is the new "when."

 

I was over weight, I told myself "I'll be happy when I'm thin and in shape." Great, I did it. I was shy and told myself "I'll be happy when I can be socail." Kudo again for me, I did that too. I had spaced teeth.. "I'll be happy when I get veneers." Hooray another accomplishment! "I'll be happy when I have a nice vehicle." I have it. Now I don't like my voice...MY VOICE!

 

That's a little run down on what I'm talking about. All I'm really asking is for some specific examples on what you may have done if you've faced this before. I'd REALLY like some reading material on this too if anyone has something good to suggest. I know I need to love myself, and I know the basics on those small things don't matter, but I can't live it.

 

Really, I'd love to hear of anyone else coming to grips with self-love/respect. And any books/reading material on this would be great. Thanks!

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One's mindset is a conscious choice, it is called taking responsiblity for our thoughts. You can not change the past so why live there. The future is not here yet and you can not be transported there. All you have is TODAY.

 

We also have to accept what we are in THIS MINUTE. If you think you be happy when I finally achieve the magic if or whatever, that is false. Acceptance and self love comes from inside you, not from the outside.

 

I do not have a lot of reading material to state, but just that I learned this through age and experience.

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Where will it end? And will it?

 

Well, in a sense, no, not in this lifetime. It's part of the human condition. You can see, for instance, link removed going through the same thing. That may not (but then again it may) be the kind of self-help book you're looking for, but it's what I know.

 

 

My situation is the reverse of yours. I tend to have difficulty living in the moment, in getting to the hoooray for the accomplishment. It's not easy.

 

It's possible to focus too much on "self-love." In fact, I've found that it's impossible to love myself without loving others. It isn't that I go out and love others, first, and then realize by afternoon that I love myself. It's rather, that, by focusing on others rather than myself, I in that very act am already treating myself with greater love.

 

But it is possible to misunderstand even this, because others tend not to cooperate in being especially lovable. And so it is important to learn to see what is good through others. I don't want to say so much what is good "in" others, but what is shown to be good by seeing them. (I take it that Thumper from Bambi was trying to put this into practice with his famous dictum: If you can't say something nice... don't say nothing at all. But of course being nice is not always being loving, so I think Thumper was only approximating for convenience). I agree with Victoria that self-love comes from within, but it simply cannot stay there.

 

One last point: this sort of goal is never going to be accomplished completely. It is the sort of thing that requires continual renewal. But it is, I believe, the worthiest of all possible goals.

 

Good luck.

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