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She Still Loves Me, But We're Breaking Up


simple_guy25

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My gf just left me this morning, we've only been together a couple months, but we become very attached in that time. We both agree that we still love each other, and that we could have had a future together if we hadn't broken up. But we got together too soon after her last relationship and she still has feelings for him. The other night she had a dream about him and now she says she still loves him. So she is leaving me to give him one last shot or get over him if he doesnt take her back.

 

I'm having a hard time dealing with this because we both acknowledge feelings for each other. NC is not an option for me, because we both work together, and work much closer together since we've gotten together. There is no option to put distance between us at work. There is no bad blood between us and we both get along great. So how do I let go?

 

I told her before if we ever broke up it was final, that I don't do second chances. But in a way this is my fault. If I would have let her have more time after her breakup (even though she said she didn't need it) she would have had this out of her system before we got together, or we never would have happened. So IF, down the road she gets over him, and wants to try again, should I make an exception? I mean, things were amazing between us, there was excellent communication up to the last minute, we took care of each other, countered each others weaknesses and well, the sex life was amazing. so do I throw all that away because she was responsible enough to step back and collect herself? or am I being blinded by my emotions right now

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Sorry you have gone through this. I don't think either of you are really at fault but I do think that once someone has made a choice such as hers it is very hard to get past that if she changes her mind again. No matter what you would always see yourself as the fall-back guy who she wants because it didn't work with her first choice.

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Sorry that your going through this. I had something similiar happen. I started to date someone we went out for about two weeks and he told me that he couldnt go out with me anymore because of feelings for one of my friends. It was so painful. They ended up "sort of" dating for a while, Not really though because she was mostly giving him mixed signals until he finally got fed up and ended it with her..Anyways point of the story is that we got back together and were so happy. Were also about to have our one year anniversary.

 

Dont feel like its your fault because you think you didnt give her enough time. She is the one that needs to gauge that and she said she was fine so thats her fault. She may just need time to realize that she is over him and that you are they better person to be in a relationship with. I would give her another chance, only If when and If she comes back your ready to be in a relationship with her. But in the mean time dont dwell on her and try to date other girls. Dont be waiting up for her.

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Thank you both for your advice. I'm having a real hard time taking this all in, its like everything has been pulled out from under me. I know it will get better and only time will tell what will happen between us in the future, but that doesnt make the present any easier to handle

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Normally I wince when I read things along the lines of "if you're meant to be together, you will" (that isn't aimed at any posts in this thread, I should emphasise), but in this case I think that's in some sense true. In my experience, if someone isn't over their ex, starts something new with someone else, then decides to give it one more go with their ex without actually having any major problems with the new person, it almost never works with the ex, and sometimes does work when they come back to try again with the new person that they've realised they're missing. Just stay there, don't close any doors, be supportive, and wait for her (within reason; don't hang around for too long) to return, if you want tor remain with her.

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