Should I Trust Him?

[jaxie]

Well i really love my boyfriend, i feel that he is the one who i want to spens the rest of my life with. Last week as some have read it was heard that he cheated on me, but i don't really know beacuse i have no prove he did it, only that one of my friends told me that he had told her. well of course we had a fight over this, but i really don't know if i should trust him? he denied everything about him cheating on me. and i felt that i should still stick with him beacuse i don't want to lose him, i love him so much. all i want is advice of how to tell him that i feel i can't rust him and that i have lost total trust on him and it's something that has to build up. i want to be able to trust him the same way i did before this happened. Please give me advice, i really need it before it is loo late!

Jaxie

[jessr06]

well, if you havent read my previous posts, my boyfriend dumped me the first day of summer and had sex with 2 of my BEST FRIENDS over the summer. its hard to believe that he would do that after 11 months, but its been a year and 5 months, and you live and you learn, and i just got over it... he came back didnt he? really... what im trying to say is... everyone diserves a 2nd chance, would you want him going through life thinking... hmm this girl that girl and what it would be like without you... he rrealized what it would be like without u, and hes still with you, he could have stayed with the other girl but he didnt. what im trying to say too is... if you did it, you would want him to understand, im not saying let it go right away... but maybe he doesnt want to say he really did because he regrets doing it so much... dont say you believe him, because you dont want him to think he can get away with everything... just put ur 2 sense in and say how you feel... guys are so stupid ... but thats the way it is... be shady for a while to him and dont talk to much to him for atleast a week, make him suffer babe... if he keeps trying to talk to you, hes worth it, if he says (Censored) you and doesnt call you back and ask whats wrong, leave the ass! put your damn foot down

[Queenb0231607306448]

I am so sorry but that is absolutely some terrible advise. If you allow him to disrespect you once he will do it twice. Respect is something that is developed over time. You dont just wake up the next day and have respect for a person when there was no respect to begin with. Maybe he is sorry......or maybe he is sorry he got caught. In any rate, it is your relationship and ultimatley your decision that you have to live with.... all i have to say is if you dont have respect in your relationship now, dont think it is going to get any better.....ITS NOT!

[GermanAngel]

Hmm well sounds like what you are going is what I have been going through this past month. I really can't share any advice.., then first trust him.. and maybe let it go this time.. by adding a few words of your own to this whole mess... and if you don't hear from anyone els about him cheating on you besides the one person .. then maybe it was all some big missunderstanding ..yet if you happen to hear it from more than one person .. I would maybe consider cutting the ropes.. because even if you do love him as much as you say.. it is only going to make you suffer out of this relationship and make you comtemplate about him cheating on you and doing something he is not suppose to when he is not around you.

 

I hoped I helped...

All I can say I know what you are feeling and going through because I am going through it right now. If you visit my webpage ..which thelink is on my profile and read through some of my entries you will discover how it all made me miserable by just holding on.. when everyone was telling me my guy was cheating on me.

 

 

 

Good luck

[sisterlynch]

You need to feel real clear in your mind whether you believe him or not before you can move forward.

 

If the only proof that he did something wrong is that someone "told" you that he did then you don't need to trust that person's judgement...9 times out of 10 it was really a misunderstanding.

 

If your bf tells you the truth and you have no reason to doubt his judgement, then go with him and not the other person's word on the matter. The other person really had no right to tell you what was told to them in confidence...to make a long story short, they broke a confidence which should not have been told to you in the first place!

 

 

If he cheated and feels bad then you can choose to stay with him still, it is your judgement at that point. He may lie to you or cheat in the future or he could be loyal to you forever. Love is a risk. You trust someone to use their best judgement in life and then forgive them when they ask forgiveness.

 

You cannot predict the future until you see a pattern develop.

[laadied]

The truth of the matter is that no one can tell you what to do, no one can tell you what you can deal with or how much you can put up with. The truth is that you have to trust your instincts. Not so much that of other people. Men are like women. We all at some point have what we call "a back up plan" and if your man is cheating then you are his backup plan. I know this young lady whose boyfriend cheats on her constantly. Her friends have come back to her with truthful stories about his cheating and every time he denies it. But in truth he is lying to her and she trusts what he says over that of other people and even her own conscience. She knows, yet she doesn't trust her own instincts. Instincts were put there for a reason. Animals trust theirs, why don't you trust yours? Sometimes the so called "evidence" that we are looking for is just never going to be there for us to always see. If you can accept your man's infidelity, then more power to you, but if you have doubts, then you owe it to yourself to investigate. And don't ask him anymore, because he is not going to tell you the truth. Be slick with your stuff, its in every womans genes. Because that way if he is not cheating, then you haven't burned any bridges. Good luck

[sisterlynch]

Life is just too hard when you are constantly worrying over every little detail. Men can cheat just as easily as women.

 

You ought to plan to tust people in their fidelity. If you plan on listening to all others then you might as well never listen to yourself...

 

The girl in your example has had repeated evidence that her man is not truthful, so maybe she likes the abuse...maybe she feels like her man is too good not to share...maybe she enjoys hearing his little stories, who knows...

 

You cannot overgeneralize and say that a third party is smarter and more up on your boyfriend than you are...most are not that trustworthy when the only heart that will be broken belongs to someone else!

[eterna2]

often the affairs of the heart is best dealt with in the simplest terms.

planning too much or seeing too much will only muddied the water.

 

Ask urself if u really trust him?

decide and stick with the decision.

 

If u trust him, all is good and well, dun dwell on what ur friends had said. But in the future if indeed he really did cheat on u, well, u took a risk and lost and U will have to draw a line. Another decision, to forgive or to break up. Decide and draw a line, if u think he is still worthy, then go ahead and give him another chance. But if u think he had crossed the line, then just break up. Without real forgiveness or trust, there can be no happy relationship.

 

If u dun trust him, then there is really nothing he can do make u trust him, so it better to just break up. A love without trust is not love, it will only bring pain and hurt to both.

 

I may make things sound so cold, but in truth, u must always draw a line for urself and then decide. Otherwise u will only be forever pestered but why, how, what if, etc...

 

All of us can advice all we wanted, but in the end, u are the one who makes the decision. Listen to ur heart, and not wat others say.