Ex girlfriend calling back dilema

[carlitos]

Hello. Here is my drama:

My exgirlfriend dumped me twice. She cheated before dumping me the second time. After she dumped me she said she was going to marry him. Problem is I loved her, I love her, and will love her. (Regardless if we are together or not).

 

Now she's been calling back and wanting to meet.

I did not rush back to her nor planning on it.

She told me she misses me and loves me.

Problem is she is still seeing the other guy.

 

She is either playing around or confused.

 

She says she is not playing around.

 

Last time we talked I told her that I love her but I don't want to play games and want to have a normal relationship with her. I also said to her that if she truly loved me to demonstrate it though her actions.

She said she loved me and was not sure about a compromise.

 

I am not sure what to make of her.

 

She has told our mutual friends that she loves me but her actions are contradictory.

 

There is a tornado of emotions within me.

 

How do I proceed?

 

Carlos,

Thx

[vfunkera]

Sometime we have to overcome the emotional heart and follow our head.

 

This girl has dumped you 2 times. She has cheated on you, lied, told you she will marry some other guy in you face, played you once, and is playing this other guy right now. Whats the guarentee that she wont dump you again, lie again, play you again and cheat on you again. That she won't do to you what she is doing to this guy right now- get with some one else behind his back?

 

She has told our mutual friends that she loves me but her actions are contradictory.

 

Actions speak louder then words. If she really wanted you and was serious that you were the one, and if love was being enforced, she would have dumped this guy, and been fully commited to you and your cause.

 

Common sense is required here. If you want all the things you have stated from a relationship, then there are plenty of girls out there ready for what you want. This girl is a waste of your time and more heartache.

 

Good luck carlos

[determined]

Great reply Vfunkera

 

The problem here like in my case is that I haven't been able to meet a girl who I hold in such a high regard as my ex who seems similar to the one in this post, lied, cheated etc. She certainly has a distorted sense of what is love but we are young 21/22. Is there any space for understanding, possibility they will wake up and change and that it is simply a stupid lesson people have to learn that it isn't the greatest thing to do to be a cheat, liar etc.

 

What must my ex be thinking being with the loser she is with now. I was always good to her which means I wont have to lie in bed awake when everything slows down (right now she doesn't stop to think, why, because if she does she realises she is very lonely and has done bad things). I'm just glad I dont have that on my mind, the guilt etc.

 

My point is that if no girl has actually been up to filling their boots i.e. they may be loyal etc but the live connection of thought and humour may not be there. Is this not something worth holding in high regard despite the cheating, lying etc