Jump to content

My first pet peeve: A follow up/reflections


Mandoro
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First

Recommended Posts

Well I did talk to my friend about it and he basically told me that an expectation like that is silly. Then he listed all his examples of friends who he has either called and they haven't called back for days or weeks and about how some of his friends he doesn't call back as often. I told him that I wouldn't put up with that from people and wouldn't be their friend. Then we got into what the general consensus of the public would be. He was telling me how no one expects their friends to call them back in a timely manor rather they look at the phone and then say Ill call back later or not at all.

 

This is utterly preposterous. I find it to be just about the most disrespectful things to not answer a persons call in a timely manor. But I have thought about it and come up with a middle ground.

 

Before, this was the only thing I would expect from my friends now it has been completely thrown out the window and now my expectations of my friends are at nothing at all. Now Ill just have to live with the apparent fact that friends just won't talk to you sometimes (even your good friends) instead of saying they dont feel like talking to you, even though I would never do this to my friends (if it were possibly I would answer my phone in the shower).

 

My criteria for friends/good friends has changed and now I have no idea where the lines for respect towards those friends lie. Its so weird in the first five seconds he completely delegitimized my definitions for respect and friendship. Its either I change the criteria or I change the label of friendship

 

He even went on to say that if I were his girlfriend he could see where I was coming from. So apparently the only good friend (by my definition assuming it doesn't change) will be my SO.

 

I just can't believe it actually works that way. I mean saying you wont call someone back til later or not at all is the equivalent of seeing a friend on the street, walking by that friend, and then not acknowledging their existence. Its a complete slap in the face. But now, oh watch out now, because apparently in today's mainstream is cool to do that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dunno man. Just because you have time to message or call someone doesn't mean they have to respond promptly. Sure, it's a nice thing to do and you'd hope that if you really needed someone to get back to you that they would... but I guess it depends on the content of the message.

 

If my friend messaged me with something unimportant or just saying what's up I wouldn't feel like I had to get back to him right away. I also make a point of giving someone my full attention when I spend time with them, which can mean ignoring incoming phone calls to give them my full attention. The person who can't tear themselves away from their phone while they are hanging out would be pretty annoying to me.

 

I don't think you need to redefine your idea of friendship here, but you might consider that your messages/calls aren't going to be top priority to anyone you call at any given moment that you should decide to contact them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yea content of a message is an important thing. I usually don't text/call people without there being a reason. Usually its either to locate, inform, or be informed. Anything else can be said when hanging out.

 

Thats another point. It seems like to me talking on the phone is fair game when hanging out with people. Everyone I know answers phone calls and texts while we are hanging out.

 

Now if you are with your bf/gf I can understand not wanting to communicate, but a text or 3 second call informing of the situation never hurts anything and I would gladly do so if I were hanging out with my gf.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

the phone is an interruption to real life. as is texting and emailing. if i need someone to call me back i say 'please call me back ASAP...must talk with you...important'....or 'do you want to have dinner tonight? call me back before xyz...if not, someother time'. i have friends that expect me to call them back to chit chat...i say, call and set up a time to see me, not chat on the damn phone. i hate the phone!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...