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it's so difficult to let her go


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It's been a month since she broke it off and I am doing poorly. What gets to me the most is that she is getting on with her life while I am stuck. It was amazing when we got back together then out of no where, she decided that she no longer wants to be with me. This is after we talked about getting married and how she falls more in love with me with everyday. If I saw it coming, I would not be in such a devastated state.

I went on meds for depression yesterday to stop the obsessing thought in my head. Thoughts of her being with someone else. thoughts of what she told me when she was in love with me. Thoughts of what she told me when she broke up with me. I know I need to forget about her, but it is difficult to think that she will never be in my life again.

I don't want to think that i spent 2 years of my life, love and all with someone who played me. She told me that was not the case.

I just pray to God that I get through this. Day to day is so difficult. I am still in love with her and miss her tremendously.

I have been in other relationships prior but never have I felt so much for a person. I am 36 and she is 25. I keep thinking that she was just not ready for a true commitment. I just hope she is safe and selective with who she gives herself to.

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I don't think that you have to forget her, you just have to heal. That takes time, and yes, it really sucks having to let them go.

 

I felt as you feel about 3 months ago. I work with her, and continued torturing myself - the only time I felt good is when she'd respond to me, kiss me, and flirt with me during the insecure phase she went through between our relationship ending, and the new one she's in beginning (just a couple weeks). But she wasn't with me, so those feelings didn't last long.

 

Just remember that it's supposed to hurt, it's supposed to be difficult to think of anything but her - how much you miss her and care for her - but focusing on you, even focusing on how much you hurt, will keep your thoughts from drifting to her too often. It gets easier with time, but that never helps anyone to hear when the pain is still so new, and so raw.

 

hang in there...there's lots of support here to be had...

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Thank you. I feel weak and am glad that i am not the only one feeling this. It just kills to think that she is fine and getting on with her days while I am struggling. She is only 25 and I'm 36. But yet I feel like an immature boy feeling like this. I had some great loves in my life. I am attractive and great person. So everyone tells me. But I guess my insecurities come out in times like these. I lose myself when it comes to relationships. I just don't have a balance. I only wish she could have been the one. I pray everyday to relieve this pain from me and to give me back my self confidence.

I also pray for her safety and well being. Although I feel that by praying for her, it only makes me think about her when I am trying to forget at the moment.

I wish time would speed up because then I will most likely feel better.

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When you are "dumped", your insecurities are naturally going to haunt you. That happenes to everyone who goes through it. Allowing yourself to heal will at least help to build your confidence back up. Many people try to date or meet someone else in this time after a breakup, because it can be an instant self-confidence boost...but that kind of thing really should come from inside, or else it will always come crashing down when the person who has artificially built your self-confidence does something to undermine it. This is a lesson I am learning myself. 3 months later, I'm getting there. I've never really faced certain issues before, and I'm happy to be doing it now, rather than 5 years from now or whatever...when something could become an issue in a possible marriage or relationship at that time.

 

It's going to hurt for quite some time. Try not to artificially mask the pain, just allow yourself to feel without placing judgements on yourself such as feeling like an "immature boy."

 

You had deep feelings for her, and she walked away. It's supposed to hurt, no matter how old you are.

 

Stay strong.

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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