healthseeker Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Care to explain why? Different environments = different standards. Culture differences. Small town vs. large city. I think your pain and confusion are real no matter where they reside...that is not what I meant! I just think where we live and where we have grown up have a lot to do with who we are. Link to comment
Mavis VDSande Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 After reading your posts I would say that the thing that really gets me is how secretive he's been to you all these years, forget the gay/bi thing, only now that you're about to get married, he tells you all these things. Not right. I agree with Knit Kitten that perhaps you have answered all your qns yourself, in your mind you have found a solution. But that will not last forever, you know. You are not helping him by being his safety net, his cover-up - he needs to be honest with himself and 100% true to his sexuality. So... let him go. I know that this thought tears your heart, but who are you really helping, now that he has told you bits of his past? Are you helping yourself... or him? You need to have a heart to heart, you can put off the engagement, say that you both realise it's not what you want, and if he is truly your best friend, there is no harm to support him and stay with him as a best friend, as he slowly regains some confidence to be the man he really is. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 I wouldn't care to read what any of those scam artists would have to say. Oprah is the devil!!! Dearie, you are in a position right now to be able to benefit from what experts on this say. I wouldn't go casting aspersions on authors you know nothing about. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Sorry not reputable in my book.. Anyone thats a "motivational speaker" should change their job description to professional brainwasher. Just doesn't sit well with me. What can I say? I travel to the beat of my own drum. I do appreciate your imput on the situation though. Brainwasher? What is the real definition of that? Would a gay man who has made his fiancee believe he is straight also be some form of brainwash? To some degree? Even if he has not done it with malice, it was done. Don't live in the same denial your fiancee is living in. Link to comment
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