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Okay, I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and everything is fine. We love eachother very much, I've never been so happy.


The only problem is lately (This was before we were going out too) I feel myself getting quite anxious and nervous/ocd at times. I've always had ADHD, still do and I stopped taking medication in the 8th grade. My problem is, usualy I'm pretty easy going but I can develop social anxiety, or stress myself out easily. I over think things ALOT. Like with math, which I know I'm bad at, even though I study when I take the test I freak out and end up flunking it.


With my boyfriend, if he doesn't text me back right away or answer his phone at once, I get all anxious and keep looking at the clock.


And with my job my manager says 9/10 of the times that I ever do anything wrong is because I'm to tense. I just need to RELAX. I over think things and am then not able to solve a situation correctly and instead of trying it myself, I get insecure and intimitaded and keep asking if I'm doing it right. Because I want so hard to please.


I was SOO much worse since I got off Depovera. I've been off it for nearly 3 months, but I still want something to calm me down.


My doctor gave me Xanax when I had bad side affects with Depo, but thats really only a short term medicine. You shouldn't take it all the time. I need something long term, but I don't think an anti-depressent would be good because I'm not depressed. I'm happy. I can just get REALLY jittery/anxious and stress myself out.


I just want something that isn't going to kill my sex drive, make me gain weight or cause me bad side affects.


Maybe it's the ADHD, but when I have a bad thought or something is bothering me I cant NOT think about it, I constantly dwell on things and think the worst possible situation which is unhealthy and really cause me stress when honestly, I don't have anything major really going on in my life so I don't know why it would be that way.


I took Zoloft for a month in 8th grade because I had Social Anxiety, but it seemd to make it worse and I stopped.


Any Suggestions?

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And these "OCD" moments were all thorough out my life.


I went through my phases such as: Dorathy, Lion King, Spice Girls, Pokemon/Sailor Moon, Anime, etc. I would get SO obsessed with these things as a kid I could never focus on anything else but that.


It's gotten better over the years but there are somethings I constantly obsess about. Ex boyfriend, doing well on my job, etc etc.


Maybe its just part of my personality?

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Really? Is there a website for that?


I'm going to ask the doctor 2, but its a common problem and I'd like to hear other's opinions on certain medicines.


I was on Depo and that was said to kill your sex drive and make you gain weight. Im on the pill now and its said to do the same. But I'm fine.


I just don't want to chance it with this new thing.

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Um, well, all of the side affects are the things I have now and need medicine for! lol wow.



Buspirone side effects

Get emergency medical help if you have any of these signs of an allergic reaction: hives; difficulty breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat. Call your doctor at once if you have any of these serious side effects:

feeling light-headed, fainting;


fast or uneven heart rate;


depressed mood, unusual thoughts or behavior; or


lack of balance or coordination.


Less serious side effects may be more likely to occur, such as:


drowsiness, dizziness, blurred vision;


feeling restless;


nausea, upset stomach;


sleep problems (insomnia); or


trouble concentrating.

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I found this:


The first types of anxiety medications are that of Benzodiazepines, which is basically a tranquilizer to your nervous system. These are what most people take during or before an anxiety attack, and they are highly addictive. These include; Xanax (alprazolam), Librium (chlordiazepoxide) Valium (diazepam) Ativan (lorazepam), and Serax (oxazepam).


Anti-anxiety medicines, however are quite different. These are called Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), and they rebalance brain waves to make sure that the correct chemicals are released into our systems. Some of these are; Celexa (citalopram), Lexapro (escitalopram oxalate), Prozac (fluoxetine hydrochloride) Luvox (fluvoxamine maleate), Paxil (paroxetine hydrochloride) and Zoloft (sertraline hydrochloride).


Just because a medicine is popular (take Prozac for example), doesn't mean that it is right for you. There are many to choose from, so finding your perfect medication might be a tough job. Always remember that if it feels wrong in any way, it probably is. Anti-anxiety medication is a very important and serious thing to be considering, so you will want to take every precaution and measure that is available to you. The best way to determine if it is right for you is to gauge how it makes you feel. If you have less stress, and anxiety, and are feeling pretty good, you might want to hold onto it, because that is a feeling that is priceless for those who suffer from anxiety.


Talk Therapy for Anxiety Disorders


Many people with anxiety disorders also benefit from talk therapy (psychotherapy). Talk therapy helps you work toward changing the way you view the world around you and how you react to it. Talking with a psychiatrist or another qualified health care professional can help you explore your relationships, feelings, and experiences in a meaningful way, to help you interact with others again.


There are three main types of talk therapy:


* Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) — helps a person recognize negative thought patterns and behaviors and replace them with positive ones. CBT can quickly bring important changes to a person's daily life and outlook for the future.

* Interpersonal therapy (IPT) — focuses on working through troubled personal and social relationships that may contribute to a person's condition. By learning how to deal with others more effectively, a person may be able to reduce conflict in daily life and gain support from family and friends.

* Psychodynamic therapy — helps a person look within himself or herself to uncover and understand emotional conflicts that may be contributing to his or her condition.


& I don't know if this relates to you:


Classes of Antidepressant Medications for Anxiety Disorders


Over the years, scientists have developed several kinds, or classes, of antidepressant medications. These medications may have different effects on different people, and many people may try more than one before they find one that works for them.


There are five main classes of antidepressants used to treat anxiety disorders:



These drugs were often used to treat anxiety disorders from the 1960s until the 1980s. They act on a third neurotransmitter (GABA), which seems to play a role in fear. They generally work quickly, but due to concerns about abuse or dependency, other antidepressants are now more commonly prescribed.

Tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs).

These medications were developed in the 1950s and 1960s. They help prevent reuptake of 5HT and NE, but they also affect other neurotransmitters and can have serious side effects. They are not as commonly prescribed in the United States as are newer classes of antidepressants.

Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs).

The MAOIs were developed at about the same time as the TCAs, but they are believed to work differently. They seem to stop the brain from breaking down 5HT and NE after reuptake. People taking MAOIs should be careful about their diet and other medications to avoid problems.

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).

The SSRIs seem to help prevent reuptake of neurotransmitters in the brain. The SSRIs are called selective because they focus on serotonin. Although the various SSRIs seem to work in basically the same way and have similar side effects, people seem to respond differently to different SSRIs.

Serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs).

Developed in the 1990s, Effexor XR® (venlafaxine HCl) was the first SNRI. It works on 5HT, like an SSRI, but also helps prevent reuptake of NE. Effexor XR is approved to treat generalized anxiety disorder, and it is also approved for panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and major depressive disorder.

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Have you been diagnosed for this, without getting therapy? I think that medicines are most effective when part of a treatment focused on how to handle the issues. It seems that the issues that you describe are almost a constant in your life. I know how that is- I have been struggling with anxiety and anxiety-related depressions for many years, and it's strange to look back and see that part of what underlies that was already there when I was very young, kind of like you describe.


I think you have a great relationship- try to enjoy it. Part of the fear is also fear of losing what you have. But that will always be a risk if you are in a relationship.


For me, cognitive behavioral therapy has helped me a lot for the every day dealing with anxiety- (it took several rounds but I am getting there!)

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Well I haven't had therapy, but that isn't an option. We don't have the money for that now and its not something I have time for either. With School, work, and studying etc.


I haven't been diagnosed for anything, except ADHD. When I was on Depoprovera, It was literly making me bi-polar. The doctor didn't even hesitate to give me xanax.


Its a low dose, 0.25 mm and I only took it as needed. Sometimes only once a month. I had 2 panic attacks, and one was during the summer before my 1st year of college, and the other was during the little 5 day break with my boyfriend. Both of which I was on Depoprovera.


I don't usualy take the xanax much. Usualy no more then once or twice a week. But lately I've been wanting to take it more. Like I was stressed at work monday, I took one and was TOTALY fine. I was positively calm,and I loved it. I want to feel that way all the time.

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I was positively calm,and I loved it. I want to feel that way all the time.


And that is how addictions form.


Seriously, I echo Arwen. You need to be evaluated and diagnosed by a professional. Medication works best when in tandem with counseling/therapy. Even better counseling/therapy can work wonders on its own. CBT works really well for some people (I wasn't a lucky one). Unfortunately a pill is NOT going to solve the problem - it may mask it for awhile but then it all comes crashing down on you unless you deal with the underlying issues.

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What I find the most surprising is two things. The first you can't help, that's due to the society you live in. Back in where I come from (Holland) you'd not be prescribed these meds without having therapy or other forms of professional guidance- to solve the problems AND to monitor your intake.


The other thing is how you say that you don't have time for therapy? Money, I understand, and I also see (now that I am in US) how complicated your health care system makes it for a person to get the right care. But a lifetime experimenting with drugs will cost you as well, and not only money.


It is the reasoning that worries me. You'd rather keep popping pills while you could also invest in therapy and solve the issue you think these pills help you with.


Finally for time issues, at your age, you have the most time you will have for a long time after that.

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Well it's just I have school, I have a job and am working on getting a 2nd one, I don't have a car so that also limits my time. I can't take myself, and my mom's time is very limited.


My stepdad is taking me to the doctor next week tho.

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Your not understanding me.


I DONT have a car. I go to school Mon, Weds, And Fri. I can't cut class. I go 8 am-2 pm. I have to rely on my friends to pick me up mon and weds and my mom or someone else fridays and sometimes I have to wait til 5 pm.


And I work. About to be working more. AND I have to make time to study as I am failing math miserably and have a heavy class load with 5 classes, and they arn't open on weekends.


So WHERE does that leave time? Nowhere. I would have time during the day on Tues And thurs, but then NO car.

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I am with Arwen, I agree wholeheartedly with what she has posted. Speaking from personal experience this is something that you MAKE time for. Does your school have counseling services? See if you can get in after class. I don't have a car - I bus for 45 minutes once a week to see my therapist. I have a full time job and I take courses. I use the 90 minutes of bus time to catch up on readings..... there is as much time as you make for it. Popping pills will only be a short term solution and it will not (and I repeat WILL NOT) make the anxiety go away. That will only happen once you have addressed the underlying root of the issues and put strategies in place to deal with it. If it is affecting your life this badly you should be making time to deal with it.

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i believe people always have time for things they put first.


maybe you can try exercising to relieve some of that tension? as for medications i would only go with the advice of your doctor - he/she will probably be able to give you a few options or something

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Rose I am taking 6 courses in university, I volunteer at 3 places (an elementary school, a women's centre, and an art gallery), and I might be starting a job soon (either 1 or two days per week). I attend rallies or workshops around once a week or so, I'm active in the community. I don't have a car, I use public transit to get around or get rides from people. I also have early curfews, my parents are strict. Yet I have time for friends, family, love, myself, AND eNA . You can always, always, make time. If it's a priority to you, you can do it.


Can you go to a school counsellor after your classes, and have someone pick you up a couple hours after they normally would?

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Well I could see if they have something at my school, but I mean it's a community college and it doesn't really have much. I'm not going to a big university until I get my AA. And what kind of therapy would I get? If its just someone to talk to, I have my friends and boyfriend. I talk to them all the time about my problems etc.


And yes, the car thing is stressing me out but it is because my parents didn't let me go through driver's ed until I was 18 and I didn't get any practice. I dont have a liscense, I passed my driver's test the only thing that is really holding me back is insurance (I have to save some money up for that considering my job is only giving me like 4-12 hrs a week which is really annoying!) So I have to find another job on the times I dont work at the other one. I want ATLEAST 15 a week, and no more then 25 now with school and everything. I'm not far from getting it. I just need some more practice to feel more confidence behind the wheel. I drove this past sunday with my stepdad and I found having a detailed conversation with him while driving, not fully paying attention ON driving made me drive nearly perfect. When I'm only focusing on driving I stress out and worry I'm doing everything wrong. And I'm just worried of how it will be by myself. I should have a car by early next year. Jan, Feb.


There are no busses or trains around me. I live in Flower Mound TX, which is 25 minutes from my school NCTC in Denton, it's by UNT and there are no public transport services. Otherwise that would make things ALOT easier, and I wouldnt have to rely on other people. I don't live in a city that offers that luxury though.


When I get my AA I'll move to Lubbock with my boyfriend and go to Texas Tech, get an apartment together, And we will both have our own cars. Everything should be easier then. He's had one since he was 16, and during the summer was driving me EVERYWHERE but now, living 5 hrs away from me, he can't really do that. And I'm lucky enough to get a friend to take me to school mon, weds, and friday mornings, and one that will pick me up mon and weds and take me to work if I need it. And then Friday, if I'm in a bind I'll find a ride, otherwise I'll wait 2-3 hrs for my mom and study and get all my work done.


But I just feel so stuck. Like I'm in a rut. And it's not like I can do much about it. I want a car! I have driving anxiety at times too though. My mom is the worst teacher for me considering she has phobias and can't drive high ways or over passes and perfers not at night. We already spent lots of money on Driver's ed for me and private lessons, although those were over a summer ago. And my stepdad, my usual teacher, walked out on my mom abut 8 months ago and can only really take me like once every 2 weeks. I'm trying to get it once a week.


So I'm in an akward situation here.

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The counseling is the way to go, with or without meds, otherwise when you eventually stop taking the meds, the symptoms might just re-surface, and you don’t want to be on pills forever.


Over a decade ago, I had terrible OCD, but I did not take any meds, and instead, I went to counseling, which got to the root of why it was happening and made it ten times easier to get rid of, permanently.


Meditation exercises to calm you down when stressed, cognitive behavioral therapy to specifically target the unwanted thoughts, talking about your problems so they don't feel so overwhelming that you became obsessive, and making changes in your actual life, all under the supervision of a therapist, might really help you out, and give you the skills you need to deal with future issues as well.


Please try to make some time for counseling, because in the end you are saving time - time that you are currently wasting worrying about things and fixing mistakes you make when you are worrying. At the very least, some life changes are in order, because it sounds like the situation you are in is a big factor in any mental or emotional issues you might be having.


Google meditation/breathing exercises and try them when you feel stressed, write in a journal, and see if you can find any cognitive behavioral worksheets or exercises online in the meantime while you see where you can make changes in your life. Relaxation is so important!



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Thank you. Some things that really helped with this before, one of the reasons I didn't really notice it much is because I would read CONSTANTLY and write. When your writing a book, you can worry about the other characters problems and not your own. Also excercising helps. I was doing it 3 times a week and I'm trying to get back to that, ATLEAST twice but I'm just so busy. And I have writer's block and reading ADHD.

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Thank you. Some things that really helped with this before, one of the reasons I didn't really notice it much is because I would read CONSTANTLY and write. When your writing a book, you can worry about the other characters problems and not your own. Also excercising helps. I was doing it 3 times a week and I'm trying to get back to that, ATLEAST twice but I'm just so busy. And I have writer's block and reading ADHD.


You're very welcome. I'm glad to hear you have some resources from the past that you might be able to turn to. And writer's block CAN be overcome - maybe some freewriting exercises or simple journaling to loosen up?


ADHD is often affected by our diets and sleep. Try to get enough protein and avoid processed foods which contain chemicals that alter our brain chemistry. There are many, but here is one article that talks about nutrition and ADHD:


link removed


The exercise idea is tops! If you're like me, it's hard to start but then you feel so good once you do!


Good luck Rose, I think someone who is creative and sensitive like yourself will be able to make great positive changes once you get the ball rolling.


Let us know how you are doing

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