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Broken down Bride

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Hey Enotaloners,


You don't have to reply to my tread, please no negativity today. I just couldn't take it. I'm not even writing this to be read really. I just feel if I don't get this out on paper I might hurt myself again and I won't do that!!


I'm getting married in 36 days and i'm just so cross!! Arrrgghhh it seems like i'm banging my head against a brick wall. We are organising and paying for the wedding completely alone. My daddy died a few years back and my mum has no money. She has given us her love and support which is far moe important than money anyway. My H2b's parents are rich but tight, they say it's my mum's responsiblity to fund the wedding even tho they know she is poor and a single parent to my sister now.

I have planned the wedding alone for the past 9 months, as hubby 2 be has been working longer hours to pay for it. I am just so drained!! I'm dreading the big day now.


I can't wait to be married, h2b and I are so happy. Just wish we'd have decided to have a small quick ceromony instead of falling in line with what everyone wanted and arranging the big white wedding.


I have bought thank you gifts for all parents and 4 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen and I don't believe i have anything to thank half of them for? I sound like such a horrible selfish person. My mum has helped making stationary with me and I am really greatful to her also one of my bridesmaids has been really supportive, but the others when I ask for her are too busy.

I've Tried not to be a Bridezilla bride and have only kept them in the loop via fourtnightly email updates. I know it's only one day to them. But you'd think some people more than us and my mam would care? Offer help? Maybe not...maybe it's just me. If anyone i loved was getting married, i'd be the first to offer help. I have been to all my fittings alone. With the exception on the venue which H2b and i chose together I have chosen everything else alone, flowers, cars, outfits. I have asked ppl to come with me because h2b has been working, but they have been too busy. Even when i suggested that i'd rearrange. Just seems noone cares?


Maybe weddings aren't big deals anymore. I didn't want a big wedding, just wanted to declare my love with my partner in front of god and the people we love. But everyone went on about doing this and that and it's wound up costing near on £11,000 or $20,000 for 100 people, who clearly don't care.


It came to a head today when one of our grooms men announced he was bringing his new g/f (6 months) to the rehersal dinner and staying with her in a hotel the night before, even though he was meant to be staying with H2b. We had invited her to the wedding and she was coming on the train with other friends on the day.

I asked him to please spend the night before with h2b and he said no. She wanted him to be with her... come on, how is that fair.


I just want to run away...i know it sounds selfish and trivial and stupid and petty....but I just feel so so low right now.


I love my partner so much and wish....I don't know anymore




Sugar x

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Big weddings are a big hassle, but you will have fun on your big day, when you can just enjoy the fun and party.


You've had to do a lot yourself, but i know people who've had so many people interfering with their choices, that they end up with flowers they didn't really want, cake they didn't like, etc. etc. So at least all your choices are you own and not someone else foisting their choices on you.


When i married, my mother loved orchids and insisted i have orchids in the wedding because she had orchids. I've always HATED orchids, but she was so upset at the thought i wouldn't have orchids that i gave in and had them instead of the flowers i really wanted and remember thinking my flowers were hideous.


So there are advantages of being in control of your own wedding!


Also, your in laws might surprise you with a big wedding check as a present, since many groom's parents do give money as a wedding present.


So all is not lost! Just remember it is a big party, and you should be looking at it as a fun party and don't let the details get to you.

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This is not uncommon no matter who is paying or helping. Remember on the day of your marriage to the love of your life it will be all about you. It will be your day and no one can take that away from you.

It is true that others can't or don't feel the same about your wedding but don't let their words or actions control you. Stay focused on your wedding and let go of the little crap that always seems to come up. Believe it or not this kind of stuff can actually bring you and your husband much closer, kind of like us against the world thing.

Keep posting and venting. You are not being unreasonable at all and your feelings are real and justified. Let us know how it is going......



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these happens in almost all weddings,but please dont let it stress you out. It is your big day! for the others its might be just another day - but cherish it with those who really care.


Congratulations and I hope you have a memorable day! xx

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I know it's really disappointing when the people you have asked to be part of your big day don't meet your expectations. It sounds like you have a lot of stress on top of the wedding (which planning is mega stress)

I agree with BeStrong...maybe start a wedding journal on here...a thread for yourself that you can just express everything that is going on for you...post pics, get opinions etc...let us be your support and share in your excitement. This way you can focus on the positives and rant off the negatives without impacting the people who are going to be there on the big day.


Do you have one of those check list thingys? You know the ones that list off all of the tasks? Those can be helpful so you can feel a sense of accomplishment with what you have done and know clearly what still needs to be done...


I wish you all the best, I know it's a lot of stress right now but it will all be worth it on the day!



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