Relationship Stages - How would you clasify each one?

[Hope_Springs_Eternal]

It's interesting to hear that perspective - the first time I've heard of someone compare living together for a decade with children to going on a few dates with someone, as far as the level of commitment - and freedom to walk away. It's also interesting because of course two people can marry after a few dates so it's interesting that to you, that would be a stronger level of commitment than the couple together for a decade with children.

 

yes I understand what your saying, it does seem strange I suppose that a few dates then a marriage would seem like a greater commitment, but to me that would show intent which is why, for me, that is the better route to a long term steady partnership than babies and cohabitation.

 

Its not the babies/children that keep a couple together. If that were so, no one who ever had children would divorce. Unmarried partners who had babies would stay together forever, so clearly thats not the glue that binds them.

 

Being with someone for ten years, whatever the marital status shows great compatability and both partners are choosing to be together which is good. There's no issues these days with co habitation and a lot of people do it as an alternative to marriage, but its still no substitute, as the actual act of getting married sends a signal to society, and the couples friends and family of their unit being intended as a life match.

 

Unfortunately, this isnt always so, as being in any union is fraught with pitfalls. Thats why were all here on ENA! but these reasons are why, for me, its quite simple, married or single.

[Batya33]

And in your view would that be the same for gay people who are not allowed to marry - they can't send the same "signal" to society about their commitment - and it won't matter as much if they split (even if they have kids) because they don't have a marriage certificate? What about people who don't have a religious ceremony (you wrote that it is for religious reasons) - are they less committed, in your opinion, in the eyes of society because they were married by a judge or non-religious officiant?

 

Interesting!

[amtjrtcet]

And in your view would that be the same for gay people who are not allowed to marry - they can't send the same "signal" to society about their commitment - and it won't matter as much if they split (even if they have kids) because they don't have a marriage certificate? What about people who don't have a religious ceremony (you wrote that it is for religious reasons) - are they less committed, in your opinion, in the eyes of society because they were married by a judge or non-religious officiant?

 

Interesting!

 

As far as religious reasons, I think this thread will get closed if we go off on that...But for me personally marriage signifies a true committment between a MAN and WOMAN. Marriage is a covenant God created for a man and a woman as a solemn and binding relationship which is meant to last a life time....

 

MY OPINION...

[Batya33]

As far as religious reasons, I think this thread will get closed if we go off on that...But for me personally marriage signifies a true committment between a MAN and WOMAN. Marriage is a covenant God created for a man and a woman as a solemn and binding relationship which is meant to last a life time....

 

MY OPINION...

 

Oops sorry - not what I meant and thanks for clarifying that in your opinion a committed marriage requires a religious officiant - that puts more context into your opinion above.

[girl68]

You are either married or not.

But if you are not married you are not automatically single.

I am not married but commonlaw; this does not put me at any LESS of an ordeal if we wanted to break up.

 

Sorry folks but Gay marriages are now being recogzined and just as vaild as man and women.

[ghost69]

You are either married or not.

But if you are not married you are not automatically single.

I am not married but commonlaw; this does not put me at any LESS of an ordeal if we wanted to break up.

 

Sorry folks but Gay marriages are now being recogzined and just as vaild as man and women.

 

i don't think anybody was saying if you are in a serious relationship that you are automatically single. i think you got that wrong. what i was saying is that anybody can just leave and it's all good.

[girl68]

^ There you're wrong again. I cannot leave this relationship and it all being good. We are in a legally binding agreement and we are not "married".

 

I assumed that for the people who say married or not... does NOT mean "single"? But for some "single" meant you could still be "seeing someone"...

[ghost69]

^ There you're wrong again. I cannot leave this relationship and it all being good. We are in a legally binding agreement and we are not "married".

 

I assumed that for the people who say married or not... does NOT mean "single"? But for some "single" meant you could still be "seeing someone"...

 

common law is pretty much the same as marriage. to me anyways.

 

and technically in a serious relationship, you are still single. just seeing each other, you are still single. sure, you are considered in a relationship, but you are not married. there is either single or married. i think that is what everyone is saying. see it now? it might not be this in your book.

[girl68]

I see their point yet. Married or not.

 

But I just wanted to clarify that you can't leave a partnership and it be all good, in serious- anything more serious than that type of relationship.

[ghost69]

I see their point yet. Married or not.

 

But I just wanted to clarify that you can't leave a partnership and it be all good, in serious- anything more serious than that type of relationship.

 

how is leaving not good? it might be a bad breakup, but one person CAN just leave. it happens all the time. you have no binding.

[drewciouS281]

To me there are only three kinds:

 

Casual/FWB

Serious

Committed - Engaged/Married

 

I agree with this one. To me the serious stage is committed. Exclusive

[Batya33]

how is leaving not good? it might be a bad breakup, but one person CAN just leave. it happens all the time. you have no binding.

 

Yes, you can leave without getting a divorce (although so can married people - it just means they cannot marry again unless they get a divorce) but if you own property together, have children together, own a business together, leaving requires many of the same steps that leaving a marriage requires.

[Hope_Springs_Eternal]

You are either married or not.

I agree

 

But if you are not married you are not automatically single.

 

well, if your not married you are single, BUT your not automatically available

 

I am not married but commonlaw; this does not put me at any LESS of an ordeal if we wanted to break up.

 

this is possibly true from an emotional and financial aspect (which are the worst two IMO, but legally the obligations and responsabilities are diminished in comparison to a marriage. The exception to this is if children are involved because courts will give weight to their presense in a relationship

 

Sorry folks but Gay marriages are now being recogzined and just as vaild as man and women.

 

yes your right, gay marriage has been legal in the UK for a couple of years and they have exactly the same rights as heterosexual pairings, and rightly so

[Hope_Springs_Eternal]

as for religion, I have never mentioned religion in my postings vis a vis marriage.

 

Its as valid if performed in church, as a civil ceremony performed in a registry office before a registrar.

 

but thats not the original tac of this thread is it?

 

some people have 2 stages, some people have about 6 with degrees of shade.

 

As long as everyone is doing whats best for them and theyre happy with their choices thats all that matters

[Batya33]

as for religion, I have never mentioned religion in my postings vis a vis marriage.

 

Its as valid if performed in church, as a civil ceremony performed in a registry office before a registrar.

 

but thats not the original tac of this thread is it?

 

some people have 2 stages, some people have about 6 with degrees of shade.

 

As long as everyone is doing whats best for them and theyre happy with their choices thats all that matters

 

That was another poster who wrote that.

[amtjrtcet]

That was another poster who wrote that.

 

It was me....I didn't say anything about it having to be in a church though...I just said that I believed that there was Married or Unmarried for many reasons one being religion.

[Batya33]

It was me....I didn't say anything about it having to be in a church though...I just said that I believed that there was Married or Unmarried for many reasons one being religion.

 

Sorry, I thought you wrote that to you, marriage was created by god and I understood that to mean that for those people who do not believe that (and who do not get married in a religious ceremony) in your opinion the marriage would not be valid. No worries - it's not the main point of this discussion on either end, you are correct.