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Relationship Stages - How would you clasify each one?


S agapo

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Casual Relationship Without Sex: is the getting to know you phase, dating and deciding whether there are enough commonalities and enough interest to become exclusive. At this point one or both sides are keeping their options open in case someone better comes along.

 

Casual Relationship With Sex: is the getting to know you phase, dating and deciding whether there are enough commonalities and enough interest to become exclusive. At this point one or both sides are keeping their options open in case someone better comes along. Sex is purely lust and physical needs based and both sides may or may not be having sex with others.

 

A Relationship: Both sides have agreed on exclusivity and they are starting to build the relationship...seeing each other more often, getting more and more involved in each other's lives. Feelings for each other are starting to grow but still in the infatuation stage where the other person is on a pedestal.

 

A Serious Relationship: When feelings of infatuation turn into feelings of love and you have taken the person off the pedestal and view them as a flawed human being like everyone else..but you love them flaws and all.

 

A Committed Relationship: The connection between the couple is so strong that both sides realize that they are in it for the long haul and want to spend their lives together. This feeling gets stronger and stronger and eventually there is engagement/marriage (or, in the case of couples who do not believe in marriage, then they would commit to living together as a solid couple).

 

These stages occur gradually...however often people rush into them and think they are at the last stage when they are only two months into the relationship...and yet when the relationship breaks off they eventuallyrealize that two months in they were simply in the "relationship" phase where it was just infatuation...once real issues took hold the relatioship broke apart.

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Great Points there!

 

So what stages would meeting eachother's Friends and then Families fall under?

I would say A Relationship for Friends, and A Relationship->Serious Relationship for Families

 

 

Yes, I would agree. Mind you, I have seen posts on this forum where women have been blindsided because family introductions had been made and yet the guy still dumps them for someone else. However, generally I would say that if the relationship progressed naturally then meeting the families would be at the serious relationship stage.

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I like the way the stages are described in the book A Fine Romance (Judith Sills). I agree with COD except that the decision to be exclusive is not always to see if someone better comes along - it could be a process of deciding whether to be exclusive with that person - or not to be in a relationship at all.

 

Meeting friends/family - I've been introduced on the second date but usually it's about a month or so in and often for practical reasons - we want to get to know each other one on one. I don't read into it unless we are already exclusive and have been talking seriously - that is, if nothing's been said, I don't see that as a sign either way because people have different ideas about the meaning behind it, if any.

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Where I'm from, meeting the families early on was pretty customary, and it didn't necessarily imply that the couple was headed toward serious commitment. It stemmed more from an interest by the parents to know who their son/daughter was keeping time with, especially since in my native part of the country marrying young happens often.

 

Even though I'm dating someone currently and have been for a while, our families have not met...we are of the age where we feel it's more of our own business right now.

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Personally I just think there's 2......Single, or Married.

 

Now that doesn't mean that when you're 'seeing someone' that it can't be serious or committed...but to me you're either married or you're not.

 

Why? What difference is there between loving someone and being totally committed and being married to them? Is it important to you because of religion, social status or security signature? For me the vows to each other are more important than those made in a registry office or a place of worship. That's just personal of course.

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Why? What difference is there between loving someone and being totally committed and being married to them? Is it important to you because of religion, social status or security signature? For me the vows to each other are more important than those made in a registry office or a place of worship. That's just personal of course.

 

i can see how some people say it's just 2. it's because technically if you are not married, you ARE still single. you can leave and have no regrets, no issues to work out, no items to get back. married is legally off limits. i know i know people cheat. but married people just can't leave and be with someone they think is better for them.

 

i think in a lot of people's minds married is a no no. it is to me.

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i can see how some people say it's just 2. it's because technically if you are not married, you ARE still single. you can leave and have no regrets, no issues to work out, no items to get back. married is legally off limits.

 

i think in a lot of people's minds married is a no no. it is to me.

 

Hmm I have to disagree. Well some forms only have the married or single box most now have married, single, common law. I'm a common law partner, I am not married, and not single. I also cannot leave with no regrets, no issues to work out nor items to get back. If we were to break up there COULD be a legal battle- because in the eyes of the law being commonlaw is just SLIGHTLY less committed (legally) than being married.

 

I also don't get the second part of your post? Married is a no-no? Really!? I think you're one of the odd ones out. More often people get married than remain single for the rest of their lives. (unless you mean something entirely different).

 

I think the stages are:

 

Dating (with or without sex): Getting to know you, non-exclusive.

Relationship: Exclusive to your partner, mutually!

Serious/ Committed relationship/ and or Common-law: Exclusive with much more invested in eachother and the relationship. (I don't see how you can be in a 'serious' but non-committed relationship!). I'm in a committed and very serious relationship that also happens to be a common law partnership.

Engaged---> Married: The end (hopefully).

 

An answer to the when to meet the parents? When you're younger... (before you move out) you should meet the SO in the 'relationship' phase. Most parents want to know ASAP who they're spending all their time with. When you're older... (I guess once you're on your own) I introduce the SO when it is a 'serious/ committed/ common law' relationship.

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i can see how some people say it's just 2. it's because technically if you are not married, you ARE still single. you can leave and have no regrets, no issues to work out, no items to get back. married is legally off limits. i know i know people cheat. but married people just can't leave and be with someone they think is better for them.

 

i think in a lot of people's minds married is a no no. it is to me.

 

i was thinking more from an idealistic emotional perspective rather than the practicalities. i see there is a difference there. good point!

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i wasn't talking about stages. i was talking about relationship classifications.

 

marriage is a no-no: i mean it's not proper to go after married people. they are absolutely not single. i really don't go after girls that have gfs or tell me they are seeing someone; even though technically they are still single.

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I go by the technique of keeping it simple.

 

to me, a persons either married or theyre not.

 

If they are they shouldnt walk away so easily and should stay and try and work out the issues.

 

If theyre not, they dont have to stay. Theyre free to leave and find a better match.

 

Keeping it simple means to me, that I dont get confused by 'status' issues

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I would hate to think that a couple that has been together for a decade, owns a house and has children, but are not legally married, should feel free to walk awy same as someone who has gone on a few dates, just because they're legally "single"/

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I would hate to think that a couple that has been together for a decade, owns a house and has children, but are not legally married, should feel free to walk awy same as someone who has gone on a few dates, just because they're legally "single"/

 

 

yes, horrible, as all break ups are, and which is why I've only lived with the man I married, but thats the choice you make when you make the decision to co habit without marriage. IMO.

 

Its often one of the reasons why no legal marriage or recognised celebration of the union between two families takes place. So that any time it doesnt suit one of the parties involved, they can walk away without as much hassle.

 

the law is changing, but its not about the law, its about goals and choices IMO.

 

All of life presents choices, and we make the ones we think are right for us presumably.

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It's interesting to hear that perspective - the first time I've heard of someone compare living together for a decade with children to going on a few dates with someone, as far as the level of commitment - and freedom to walk away. It's also interesting because of course two people can marry after a few dates so it's interesting that to you, that would be a stronger level of commitment than the couple together for a decade with children.

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I go by the technique of keeping it simple.

 

to me, a persons either married or theyre not.

 

If they are they shouldnt walk away so easily and should stay and try and work out the issues.

 

If theyre not, they dont have to stay. Theyre free to leave and find a better match.

 

Keeping it simple means to me, that I dont get confused by 'status' issues

 

amen amen amen.....Its simple. Married, or unmarried...

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Why? What difference is there between loving someone and being totally committed and being married to them? Is it important to you because of religion, social status or security signature? For me the vows to each other are more important than those made in a registry office or a place of worship. That's just personal of course.

 

Religious reasons and I think its just that simple. You are or you aren't.

Definitely not social status or security....I don't even want to change my last name...But boyfriend/girlfriend...sure it hurts if you break up, but its not like getting divorced...married or unmarried.

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