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Is she playing games?


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To better understand my situation I suggest you read my other post.


Recently I came back to my ex which I walked out on. She begged me for a month and I finally came back. Anyways I have pushed her away. When I came back I was pressuring to get back with me. I kept telling her that if she did not come back I would leave her again. Well I believe she is fed up and now she seems to be making me suffer. I recently was laid off and I needed comfort from her and she was not able to give it to me that made me pressure her as well. Furthermore I have came to her on maybe 4 to 5 occasions saying I am leaving. I have said that many times and I can not seem to do it. Each time I come back and I tell her that I am going to calm down and give her space. Each occasion she has told me that I am lucky. She says I'm lucky because once she is through with her exes she never calls them again or gives them other chances. I asked her what make me different and she says she does not know.


Some of those instances I have gotten upset because I have her passwords to an online community of chatting. For some strange reason she has not changed it. Anyway in her messages I have seen that she has been giveing out her Phone numbers out to guys. I have confronted her on it and she tells me that she does not take these guys serious. She also says I should not get mad because we are not together. Although she did catch me doing something like that before while we were together I really can't get mad, but it did still upset me. I believe her to some degree about not taking them serious. She goes to school full time and she works fulltime as well. Should I worry about this?


Furthermore I purchased her a promise ring. She declined it saying that she would rather have it once we are together. I took the ring from her and now it is in my possesion. I told her the ring was a sign of my devotion and commitment to her and a sign of better things to come.


Recently I have been tired of the way I feel. On two instances that I saw her I said to her that I am not going to be her friend forever. I aslo said that if she does not want happieness from me to find it eleswhere. I told her that I am guaranteeing happieness to her. I told her that on two occasions. When I said that to her her attitude seemed different towards me. She seemed more affectionate. She was approved for an apartment recently. Once she got that called I said congrats. As I said it showed an attitude that I did not care. As I was walking to pick someting up, she says youre not going to visit me? I said that is purely up to you if want to have me as your company. She say yeah I do. So I got kind of happy at that point. We went to to stores on that day. She would pull me as if where together again. When we made it to the care I huged her. I asked for a kiss. At first she says no but then gives it to me. Later that day I was taking her to school for a night class. I reach for her hand and she did not fight it. She gave it to me. I ask if I was her baby and she said yes. I ask if she my baby and she says yes. We finally make it to her school and she says I will call you later Babe. That surprised me.


Then 2nd time I saw her I said the same to her. I could tell she was bothered. So as we are driveing I ask why she is not talking to me. She says because she did not want to hear what I told her. I said nothing. So then we somehow start talking about me getting my own place. So I ask, would you come over to visit. She says yes. As she is saying yes, I say maybe you'll come by for a min,2min, 3min. Then she says if come over it will be for a couple of hours. I say like what? 2,3,4 hours maybe a night? She says maybe. I ask her if she would consider marrying me one day. She answer I would like that one day when I have my degree and I know everything about you. So I say you know everything about me. I go on to say, I know you know what I am capable of. She didn't say anything. Then she says I know you know what I am capable of. So I say, I know you are capable of a lot, sarcastically. So she question like what? I said, like i know you would be faithful. So she says youre right. We make it to her work place. We are saying goodbye and I request a kiss again. She says no because she says does not want me to get attactched to soon. So I say I'm hurt. I really was not hurt, I did not care if she gave it to me or not. So she ask me, are you mad? I say no I'm fine. So she thinks I am being sarcastic. She gets back in the car and kisses me. As she leaves out the car she says to me, you are spoiled. Then I say I just love thats all.


The night prior to these two outings I kinda gave her an ultimatim. I said make your decision now. Do you want me to stay or do you want to say goodbye now. So she say, since you are nagging me goodbye. So I said bye. I was not going to ever call her again. Minutes later I get a text message to my phone saying, "sorry." I text her phone back saying, thats ok. That is life, right?. So 15 minutes later she calls back saying sorry. She says she is feeling irratable because of things that are going on in her house. So I say this is how I feel. I amseroiously afraid to call you because you seem irritated when I call. It makes me feel like its against me. So if you feel irritable it would be best that you communicate that to me so that I do not feel that way. So we come to an agreement that she will notify me if she feels that way. So I go on to ask if we are going to meet the next day. She replies by saying she really does not know because she feels irritable. So she says I will notify you tomorrow. The next day came and she said meet me at 1:30. On this same day is when I told her about finding happiness somewhere else.


Someone please answer me. I extremely recommend that my other post are read before there is a reply to this. this way you may see what she feels as well.

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Thank you for coming back to eNotalone.com with your questions. I am sorry to read that things still are not working for you and I wish it would have been different.


It looks like a lot is going on in both your lives. You're trying to get comfortable and get settled, but there still is tense situation because of the history.


My suggestion is to stop everything, sit down and think. I sense that your life is centered around her and that you go by what she's doing. I'd rather control my own life. I would suggest that you start to think about what your needs are in a relationship and what your expectations are. I also would recommend to see what your expectations are out of life. What do you need?


After you figured that out, you have to establish if you are still together. If you are, make her sit down and listen to you. If you still love her, express your feelings towards her and tell her how you feel about her. After that express your history and all the things that has gone wrong and that you have sat down and thought about the situation. Tell her that YOU want to be together and that you are going to make it work. Why she believes you this time? That's where you have been thinking of your needs and expectations. Express them! She'll figure out that you are being serious this time. Then ask her what SHE needs and see how far your needs and expectations are compatible.


After this you might or might not want to stay together, but at least you have 'closure' and you have done everything. Besides that, you can use your needs and expectations for future reference.


I hope this helped you. Good luck


~ SwingFox ~

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