KAT MOMMY Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Hello guys. Just a thought-when you are in love with someone is there a point where you give your heart to them. Like for example- is there a point in the realtionship where you actually put it all out there or is it always a never ending cycle of pushing and pulling. I don't want to screw this relationship up and I want to continue to be open and honest about my feelings. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am ready to settle and give this one man my all. Not sure if this makes sense or has any relevance but it's something I am wondering. Any thoughts will help. Thanks Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 If you get that sense that he is "the one", then go for it! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 well, i wouldn't do it early on. but if you are ready you are ready. it's a chance you take. he could either like it or book it. Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted October 7, 2008 Author Share Posted October 7, 2008 Thanks for your responses. I don't understand this forum anymore. I mean when I am down in the dumps I get 100+ replies but when I am on another note talking about the longevity aspect of a relationship I get deaf ears. I suppose it's actually really true that misery truly loves company. Thanks to all on ENA that has helped me through my growing pains and grooming. I am a much stronger and wiser person and I am proud of who I have become. So long.... Link to comment
chickidee23 Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 I don't know if there is a point where you give it all... but there is a point where you decide whether or not this person is someone you want to keep in your life and see what happens. Depending on how long you have been dating, the only way to let him know this is how you feel is to tell him. However, as ghost69 says, if you do it too soon, it could scare him away. Some people realize the true meaning of their feelings sooner than others. It's your call, use your best judgement. Good luck! Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted October 7, 2008 Author Share Posted October 7, 2008 Well I am not talking about the "Love"talk or the I love you gestures. No I am talking about actually applying yourself to allow that person to see you are 110% serious. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 and again, it can still go either way. he can run for the hills or return your emotions. Link to comment
DenialTwist Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 lol...misery does love company. Yes, there is a point where you put it all out there. I hope it all goes well for you. Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted October 8, 2008 Author Share Posted October 8, 2008 and again, it can still go either way. he can run for the hills or return your emotions. Well it's to the point where I know he loves me back but I am ready to take it to the next level. It's not a fear of him ditching me-no-it's that I don't want him to take it for granted and use it against me later down the line. I am secure in this relationship. The last time when I did that it was with my child's father and he took all I had to give and never once did he appreciate it-he used me because I opened all the way up to him. And I know that I can't afford to make the same mistake twice which is the reason I am a bit nervous but at the same time I can't allow the past to put a damper on my current relationship. So it's not an issue of losing him or him running for the hills it about the way I feel for him. I have never had someone that makes me think about years from now. Like he excites that part in me and it's an amazing feeling. When I said don't want to screw this relationship up I meant him walking all over me not him running away. Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted October 8, 2008 Author Share Posted October 8, 2008 lol...misery does love company. Yes, there is a point where you put it all out there. I hope it all goes well for you. Thanks, so now I ask you is it something you say, something you write in the letter or something you allow to take it's course naturally? You understand where I am coming from and I appreciate your response. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 If you feel that this relationship is it for you and that he feels the same way then you should let yourself go and give your love freely. You can't hold back because holding back does not make for a healthy relationship. If he eventually takes advantage and walks all over you then that is a reflection of his character and not about the fact that you gave love to him. Someone with good character will not abuse and take advantage of someone's love so that they walk all over them. However you can't hold yourself back just in case at some point in the future he might turn ugly on you. You have to go with the present. If he turns ugly on you then you put your foot down and make it clear it is unacceptable...but you can't live your life happily and conduct a serious, loving relationship with your guard up. The guard has to come down and you have to be yourself. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 Hello guys. Just a thought-when you are in love with someone is there a point where you give your heart to them. Like for example- is there a point in the realtionship where you actually put it all out there or is it always a never ending cycle of pushing and pulling. I don't want to screw this relationship up and I want to continue to be open and honest about my feelings. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am ready to settle and give this one man my all. Not sure if this makes sense or has any relevance but it's something I am wondering. Any thoughts will help. Thanks There's a point where you let your heart go. Relationships don't have to be push and pull constantly. I would say talking about it would be better than writing... Communication is Always good... Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted October 8, 2008 Author Share Posted October 8, 2008 OK guys, I think I have a much better understanding then I did a few days ago. Although i am still a little scared with the concept of letting it all "go" but I guess it will get greater later. Living in the present has always been a hard thing for me but I suppose this is when you let go and let love-huh? WOW Thanks Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 OK guys, I think I have a much better understanding then I did a few days ago. Although i am still a little scared with the concept of letting it all "go" but I guess it will get greater later. Living in the present has always been a hard thing for me but I suppose this is when you let go and let love-huh? WOW Thanks Yes.... at some point you have to let it known and have faith in the relationship and not worry that you might say too much, etc. etc. etc. I think I'll have a hard time. Feeling that way and in love that much makes me feel vulnerable. Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted October 8, 2008 Author Share Posted October 8, 2008 Yes.... at some point you have to let it known and have faith in the relationship and not worry that you might say too much, etc. etc. etc. I think I'll have a hard time. Feeling that way and in love that much makes me feel vulnerable. Yes I do feel VERY vulnerable and at times I feel as if I am on top of the world and the funny thing about it is that it's ME-all my issues. He doesn't sway and he's always on the same tune all the time. At times he may be a bit more sentimental than at others but for the most part he seems comfortable and secure. And here I am over here like what's really good!!! I suppose men evaluate all this before they put their feelings in it huh?? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 it's still a chance you take. sounds like you are at that point. Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted October 8, 2008 Author Share Posted October 8, 2008 it's still a chance you take. sounds like you are at that point. To take that chance right? God this love stuff is so demanding and it ain't all roses either! Link to comment
DenialTwist Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Thanks, so now I ask you is it something you say, something you write in the letter or something you allow to take it's course naturally? You understand where I am coming from and I appreciate your response. If it were so easy we wouldn't be here looking for answers. I came out of my last serious relationship hurting quite a bit and all I can say is that I have learned where my red flags are. The big no-no's that say I am getting hurt. It takes time to build up the ability to trust again, and I know it is hard to put that trust out again, especially cause it hurt so much the last time round and the one thing we all want is not to hurt. Still there is a Marcella Detroit song which says "give a bit of trust and you'll get it back..." and it's true that love and trust go hand in hand. You need to give love to get love and give trust to get trust back. I would rather say too much than say nothing at all. When it comes to love I would hate the regret. Waking up one day and wondering "what if". You seem sure he loves, that always helps, so if you feel ready for it, go for it. How? Well, only you know that... Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 To take that chance right? God this love stuff is so demanding and it ain't all roses either! Yup.... time to take that chance. Sometimes it's worth it! Link to comment
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