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Finding strength


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I wish i had positive posts to share with you all, but instead i must ask. How do you find inner strength... I have absolutely none, im scared all the time im scared. About everything, there is just so much that is out of my control that i find it hard to function on what i know needs to be done. I feel so very weak and alone, it feels like everyday i just merely get by, but the big problems still persist and they are building up alot of speed coming down at me...

 

 

Pertaining to healing after breakup. I dont think i can heal right now and im one hundred percent serious. There are so many Very real stresses in my life right now that i cannot satisfy, ontop of that im obviously sad about her. It feels like they both exacerbate each other and i am unable to deal with one without being affected by the other. And in effect i havent been able to achieve much progress, now its starting to bother me, further making things harder.

 

I dont know what to do... I want to outgrow this, i want to rise above this. But existing in the level of stress is starting to shake my foundation. It sounds so corny and what not but all i can think about is how much i wish i had someone, anyone that i could talk to, give me a hug and tell me everything is going to be alright.

 

But is that my problem in the first place? Looking to other people's strength when my own is failing? Is that being codependant? I so desperately want to be whole, i want to be a master of my own destiny, im trying to no be discouraged but its so very hard... I wish someone was interested in ME, my friends are friendly with me, no one is close anymore. Even my family, its hard to talk to them, they are obviously concerned with my well being, and are the number one help in my life but i dont have that "connection" where they make everything alright. This lack of "connection" feels like an open wound, of course i miss her but its deeper than that, it transcends her as a person. Amidst all the pain im feeling i can say that im no longer "in love" with her after reading my previous sentence. But none the less i still dont understand how i feel now or how to fix it.

 

its late, i dont know what else to say. thanks for reading

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You find inner strength by going through whatever life has to offer and then looking back to see how much strength that must have taken to get through.

 

Do that now. Look back at your entire life. Are you still alive and growing and learning? Then you have inner strength.

 

Don't put pressure on yourself to heal. Maybe now is the time to hurt. Break ups hurt, you lost something . That hurts.

 

Let your foundation be shaken. Old habits and old patterns need to be dislodged somehow. Were you going to give them up easily? Then you would not need this crisis in your life.

 

"Looking to other people's strength when my own is failing? Is that being codependant? I so desperately want to be whole, i want to be a master of my own destiny, im trying to no be discouraged but its so very hard." This is strength. Go look for people you see as whole. Ask them how they do it. Look for people who master their own destiny, how do you do it?

Know that there is no end to this journey. You just keep going.

Find a person to hug for sure. But no one can say with certainty everything will be ok. It is up to you to make things ok. You have the power to do that.

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You're post is very sobering. To be honest...so many of us are in the same darkness you are. We're just hiding it. Stuffing it down so far.... just to pretend it doesn't exist.

 

Healing is a process. A long process. We all wish it were something that ...when we wake up...it's just gone!

 

It just takes time, man. Time is all you have.

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One of the biggest lessons I've had to learn is that sometimes our inner strength comes from what we feel are our weaknesses, and accepting them.

 

Knowing when not to fight, not to try and push through, but accept first. Get a grasp again of where you are on the map.

 

Compassion for oneself when the going gets tough. Suddenly, it seems, the focus changes and what needs to be done first is easier to see that way. Instead of steadily working through the outshoots of the crisis, all of a sudden you see the root for what it is.

 

More than usually, it's something to do with an insecurity. Spot it, and you get a chance to get back on your feet again so to speak.

 

There is real strength in that, and though honestly I do not know much at all, I do know that once you embrace compassion you open a world of connection again during those times when you are the weakest.

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hey coldplay, lucky me, i was feeling the same way instead of going to bed and am online now. i know exactly how you feel. what was said above at looking at your life as a whole and looking at your strength is true. reflect back on your life and your accomplishments. think about what made you happy/proud/etc - start writing stories about your life, i think it helps.

 

i would like to offer you some words of encouragement. two years ago i was just as miserable and depressed but for different reasons - i moved to a new city for a job i ended up hating and wasn't good at, i had a falling out with my coworkers who were my only social circle, i hadnt had a bf in - well, in a while, and i was spending my sat nights either going home to see my parents or at home waiting for someone to call that never did. eventually i got too miserable and decided that it was time to change the way i was thinking.

 

i did, it took a while, but slowly things started falling into place. it was one thing at a time, i made a new friend, we started going out more, i met one guy but wasnt interested in, i met another guy, i made more friends, i dated one guy, i met the love of my life, i found another job - the whole thing took a lot of work, but eventually it did happen. then i got lazy, i began to focus on one negative thing, then another, then another, and now, my bf is gone and everything is miserable. anyway now its late and im rambling, but from my own experiences, unlike people that will say, give yourself time, i like to say that you need to force yourself to move on. its so difficult, it takes so much time and there are so many setbacks, but in the end, your life is totally worth it.

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Stay strong, take a deep breath, and know that even though there are many strangers around you, many of them are willing to give you that hug and tell you that it's alright.

 

And it is, there's just periods in time that things can get difficult, and pulling through is our strength. Sure we're all strangers here at ENoteAlone, but as a community we often care about each other's problem which is why I'm writing to you. I know its difficult, was this your first relationship? Was this a recent breakup? It took me over a year to get over my first ex, even though we've only been dating a year. I felt the same way as you did, trapped in that box, feeling of hopelessness and not being able to go on, I felt that every thing in my life was going wrong and that I couldn't do anything about it.

 

I got news for you man, I got over it, and my life was good. You just gotta keep hanging on, I still haven't found a special person to share my life with after that harsh breakup, but that's ok, I have myself and I know that somewhere out there, there's someone for me, we just have to get up and start looking instead of sitting down and looking back. You gotta look forward and know that each passing day you have a greater chance of meeting the right person for you, someone to hug you and tell you its alright, someone to always be there for you, someone that when you hold their hand, you forget all about past troubles, and obviously if you two had broken up, she was obviously not the one.

 

Sorry about that mini speech, I'm not sure if it helped or not but I hoped it did

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