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Initiating contact with my ex after a while...

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My ex was very mean to me and broke up with me in a horrible way about 6-7 months ago. I have since gotten over most of what happened but still feel a lot of hate towards her. She refused to speak to me for a few months after it happened and i initiated contact with her and it went bad. I have since told her to leave me alone and not to talk to me if she sees me out, but i feel such a strong urge to contact her.


I dont constantly think about her, and i do feel like i have healed over most of the breakup. But the other night i talked about it to a girl who mentioned that she had also had a similar long relationship and it had ended. Its not as if i broke down and didnt talk about anything but my breakup but i did refer to it a couple of times. And tonight i found out that my friends were talking to my ex like she is a friend of theirs and i asked them out of respect to treat her like shit because of what she did to me. I admit that i did go on about it for a while and it disturbs me, because i really think i have gotten over most of it.


The thing is i do still think about her a lot. Its a lot different to when we first broke up, the memories dont really make me sad or long for the old relationship, i just think about her a lot.


I think about making contact with her but the last time i did she was not very compassionate and was always short and rude, never friendly. I know she has slept with people since breaking up with me and i have not touched anyone else (we were eachothers first). I found out tonight she is still using her old e-mail address.


I am thinking about sending her an e-mail but i am afraid she will be rude and short with me again, and maybe take me initiating contact as a sign of weakness and think less of me. I am desperately afraid of finding out she has found a new man, she gave me the old 'i just dont want to be with anyone at the moment' speech (but then started sleeping with her roommate a few weeks after).


I guess i dont want to contact her but i cant stop thinking about it. I just really miss the friend i had in her.... can anyone offer advice on what to do? I don't stay caged in, i mingle a lot and meet lots of new people but its just very hard to forget her entirely...

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Do not contact her. It will be a HUGE mistake, believe me. What point would it make to contact her. Even if it goes well, you will gain nothing, and at the very least you will hurt all OVER again, and I don't want you to experience that pain. You are moving on, continue to heal. Remember she broke up with you, and caused you great pain. Do not make a huge mistake by calling her.

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Hey Dude


Forget it !!!!!!!!!! You are trying to heal not hurt. You are playing way to many games in your own head. You mentioned you know she is sleeping around. You know that stuff hurts little brother. Why torment yourself with that stuff. Your going to do what you want to do, but when they are cold shoulder and rude to you. What do you expect to happen this time. She will say the kind and loving words like before and come crawling back. We all want that after a break-up, but things have changed.Remember you are not using your head at present. You are thinking through emotions and that is not good.

Those are feelings, your head does the thinking. She knows how to contact you, and she will when and if she is ever ready. It is time to move on if she is sleeping around. Remember the good times, and learn from the bad ones. When we break up the memories are all we are sometimes left with.


And sometimes that has to be enough.

Go get a book at Barnes and Noble $13.00 (don't let the title scare you)

called Love Addictions, by Susan Peabody. Read it, it will help you, and save you all in one. The best $13.00 you will ever spend. Just buy it and read it, and you will heal alot faster. That is a promise. You can find it online also.


Hang Strong


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