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I'm such a fool, i was beginning to feel fine after 5 weeks but just checked my facebook account and in my news feed her brother had uploaded some pictures. Like an idiot I went through the album and there she was, with another guy, smiling, holding hands, laughing, with someone who chased her constantly through our relationship and who she said she hated, we even used to laugh together about the drunken late night messages he would send her. Beneath one of the pics she commented "me and my lovely man." My head is throbbing, I feel like I've been punched right in the heart.

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I agree with the above poster, I think she is probably on rebound status right now. Perhaps she did put those comments on there so that you would see. My ex is the kind of person to do something like that as well, not out of wanting to hurt me, just out of "see? I can move on, so can you"... This is the precise reason I deactivated my account from Facebook. My ex did not cheat on me or anything like that, but I don't want to run the risk of reading something that would indicated he has moved on with someone else, or that he's feeling "happy"... it's only been a couple of weeks, and that's the last thing I want to read. It would set me back so much in the healing that I've already done. I want him to be happy, but not right now, because I'm not. That sounds terrible of me, but it's how I'm feeling.

 

Don't worry, what comes around goes around, you will be okay, and this might even fuel a bit of anger for you now, which will help you in moving on.

 

Big hugs,

Jenn

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Thanks guys, and itsmejenn, believe me I am angry right now. I gave her money to go on vacation with (she dumped me by text whilst away) and I want that back, trouble is I don't want to her to know I'm angry and if I ask for it now that's exactly how it will look. Maybe I'll just forget about it, spare me the pain of further contact.

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Best thing to do Delmo, is delete her from everything, remove her from your Facebook, or deactivate your account. Do this for now, maybe later on down the road you will be okay with going there, but do it for now. This will help, even though I know it's so tempting to "just check" and see, maybe there will be a status there that has something to do with you... there won't be... and it's disappointing. So do yourself a huge favour, and stop going there.

 

The fact that she dumped you by text, well that really says alot right there. Do you really want someone who would do that to you? Doesn't that turn you off big-time?

 

As far as your money goes, that's a tough call, seems she didn't respect you enough when she dumped you, who knows if she would give you your money back. If it's not alot of money, it might just be worth your while to just move forward and never look back. A few days before my ex dumped me, I had sent him about $200 / $75 quid, which isn't a WHOLE lot of money, but it was certainly money that I could use... but I never asked him for it back, I didn't want it. I just wanted to get rid of his things as quickly as possible, because I was so devestated and upset, and the last thing on my mind was that money. I guess it really depends how much money you loaned her.. if it's alot of money, I would try to pursue getting it back, otherwise, I would just leave it personally.

 

By the way, if you'd like to have someone to chat to (if you're like me, and sometimes you just need to vent vent vent to someone interactively, lol) I'm more then willing to chat away on MSN.

 

Jenn

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facebook is a * * * * * for that!!

 

I got dumped by someone else and i found out on Facebook they were engaged, having a baby, 'soooo happy'

 

Its not good.

 

You need to maybe deactivate your account for a while, get some space, take a breather.

 

I have moved on now and can now check out his profile and feel nothing.

 

that day will come for you too x

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Delmo, I wouldn't worry about.

 

After my breakup I tried to put up really happy pictures of myself on FB to be like.. see, I'm having so much fun. I even went into a rebound so that I could be.. "in a relationshiip with..."

 

Then I realized that nobody was looking and I just unfriended.

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All sound advice. But I'm just siting here staring at the picture and the comment. Have been all day.

 

I think inside us all is the tendency for self torture. I came accross some pictures of my boyfriend's ex once, taken when they were happy. I hate her, but I sat there staring at them for hours, looking at her pose, imagining my boyfriend taking the picture and being inlove with her.... when I found out what 'their' song had been I used to listen to it all the time and think about her! WHY?!!

 

You know that it hurts to look at this picture and yet you CHOOSE to do so.

 

You need to deactivate your account for a while and practice thinking of something else everytime it pops into your head. Its hard and you have to CHOOSE to do it, it won't be easy.

 

For a while the self torture is part of the healing process, to look at what hurts and face it. good luck x

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that sucks... I'm glad my ex has no facebook or myspace; I think that would really do my head in too, especially finding out and seeing it is someone you both knew.

 

Atleast you know now, you aren't sitting around waiting months like I did. you can focus on moving on and finding someone else.

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Stay far away from Facebook. If you feel uneasy about visiting the site and worry about reading or seeing things you dont want to, then dont risk it. About 2 months ago I checked my Facebook for the first time in awhile to help promote a Band and sure enough on that status update ticker my Ex had posted about her new bf and it was like a kick to gut. Right then I promised Myself I wouldnt return to the site until I felt strong enough to do so. Im not exactly sure when that'll be but its helping the healing process by not seeing what my Ex is up to.

 

btw, Im aware you can block people on there but we shared a good amount of the same friends so it's kinda hard to go on there and not seeing something from her on one of our friend's pages.

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All sound advice. But I'm just siting here staring at the picture and the comment. Have been all day.

 

I used to torture myself like that at first, guess I was just trying to come to terms with it.

 

Then I got to the point I couldn't take anymore hurt and just stopped logging-in.

 

Not been on FB in a couple of months as I knew even if I didn't look at his profile, I'd see stuff in that crap news feed.

 

Easier to just avoid the whole damn site for now.

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All sound advice. But I'm just siting here staring at the picture and the comment. Have been all day.

 

I totally understand what you are going through. It's one of the most terrible feelings that I had to go through in my whole life. What I saw from my ex's myspace and his current girlfriend's myspace still haunt me nowadays. I remember his headline was "XX is glad to have the woman he does". Yuck.

 

I hope you will be fed up and able to walk away from facebook soon. Now even when I am very bored and thinking of checking out their myspace, i won't really do that. We have better stuff to look at than those stupid blogs and pictures, right?

 

Be strong.

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Delmo, I can't imagine how much this is eating you from the inside... the closest thing I can come up with is an ulcer.

 

Gosh, I feel your pain, man... about the money though, you'd best accept this as a very expensive lesson in your life... not much point asking for it back because if it was a gift you pretty much have nothing to go on.

 

Man... I am feeling your hurt though because I've gone through that and I will go through it again. My ex has the tendency to have multiple partners... so it's going to kill me if I give it too much a though.

 

I'm sending you the love... we need it at times like this.

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dont do anything few days. We all passed through these stages one way or another.

 

If the money is small, just forget about it and move on and delete her from facebook and uncheck her brother and block them and dont look at her facebook. Believe me you will heal in 6-8 mos. Otherwise, you wont heal long time.

 

she does not deserve you at all and she knows that you would see those pictures and purposely she had her brother posted. What a bad class! She wants to hurt you and thats not love dude! Thats being selfish and childish behavior.

 

Go find yourself a better girl. Learn the lessons from this experience.

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Okay, so I just checked a friend of hers facebook page and saw a message ex had left saying how down and depressed she was feeling. Now I'm sure this has nothing to do with me but boy it made me feel good. Does that make me a bad person?

 

As for the money, it was a loan. I actually paid for her vacation as a gift but the spending money she had saved herself had to be paid out right before she went away. She made me promise I would take it back and not just tell her to forget about it which i did. Anyhow, I've decided to forget about it. Some say it gives me the moral high ground, others say it makes me look weak.

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Something similar happened to me. Ex feeded me all this bullcrap about her coworker and i trusted her 100%. Shows how loyal and naive i was. Next thing you know they hooked up less than a week.

 

All i can is have patience, it could or couldnt be a rebound. Just realize that it was better for this to happen to you now rather than a couple of years in the future.

Keep your chin up, have confidence in yourself. Let her do what she wants, if you really love her you will want her to be happy regardless of the pain.

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I had a FB problem too - I asked a friend to change my password so I couldn't access it on a regular basis. This way, I still get all my FB alerts, like if someone I really want to talk to send me a message, but I have to ask my friend permission (lol) to access FB first, let me do my business, and then change my pw again as soon as I'm done.

 

Not being on FB is liberating! Esp when you're trying to get over a break up, just stay away from the whole site, b/c even if you unfriend him, you can still check to see if he changed his profile pic, which is in itself, pathetic.

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Why don't people just 'block' people. Deactivating your entire account due to one person seems to be going quite overboard. It's almost like saying to everyone you know "I have no self control and my ex still has power over what I can and can't do."

 

Just block them, it makes it as if they don't have a facebook account to you and you don't have a facebook account to them. I blocked my ex and despite having some mutual friends, I never get any sort of updates or anything about her. It's as if she doesn't exist on there and I can go about 'facebooking' to my hearts content.

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Ha, I didn't know you can block them, I just unfriended, so I just couldn't see him profile. I guess thats shows how much FB means to me in the first place..

 

The problem with unfriending is that you'll still see news about them, posts from them, pictures from them, etc., through newsfeeds and if you have any mutual friends. Blocking them blocks every single thing.

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The problem with unfriending is that you'll still see news about them, posts from them, pictures from them, etc., through newsfeeds and if you have any mutual friends. Blocking them blocks every single thing.

 

I wonder if they put that block feature up for this specific reason; so exes can block out each other... really, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the idea behind it.

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