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when your ex gets married


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my ex fiance is getting married. today.

 

don't know why i posted this, probably to reap pity of some kind. meh.

 

i plan to have a couple drinks tonight and try to put it behind me as soon as possible.

 

i bet a lot of you have gone through this before. you have my sympathy and respect.

 

pull up a bar stool.

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Even if I wasn't in love with my ex, if I found out she got married, it would sting a little on some level. It's just another level of attachment that has been shed and won't ever be coming back. You have my sympathy. I picture my ex getting married, and although I will be very happy for her on most levels, I'm sure that will be a drinking night for me.

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I don't think it matters how much you're over them... when you had such a close relationship with someone and now that segment of your life is over...it hits on some level. My ex just moved in with a girlfriend and I have a feeling marriage is shortly following. It will most definitely be a drinking night for me.

You have my sympathy.

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Man, I thought it was tough when the ex started dating a guy even though I knew it wouldn't last (which it didn't). I can't imagine if she was getting married.

 

Quick question though, is it the "dumpees" that generally seem to get upset over things like this, or will the "dumper" feel the same way even though they are the one that ended things?

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Awww. This is hard.

 

My ex got married about a year ago, pretty much right after our divorce paperwork was final. His girlfriend was 3 months pregnant at the time. Whee! He told me in an email the week afterward. Classy.

 

The pregnancy news hit me harder than the marriage, because that's so much more permanent these days! I was fairly neutral about both news bulletins, though. I felt quiet and sad for a day or two and found myself thinking about our history and my own life progress. I had just turned 33, so it was a good year for reflection anyway.

 

It was actually nice in some ways to feel that the door to that relationship was firmly closed. I can't say that I wish him well, exactly, but I definitely don't wish for him back.

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Man, I thought it was tough when the ex started dating a guy even though I knew it wouldn't last (which it didn't). I can't imagine if she was getting married.

 

Quick question though, is it the "dumpees" that generally seem to get upset over things like this, or will the "dumper" feel the same way even though they are the one that ended things?

 

i was the dumper

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Man, I thought it was tough when the ex started dating a guy even though I knew it wouldn't last (which it didn't). I can't imagine if she was getting married.

 

Quick question though, is it the "dumpees" that generally seem to get upset over things like this, or will the "dumper" feel the same way even though they are the one that ended things?

 

I would guess that dumpers mostly feel relief mingled with a teensy bit of curiosity...? But since we don't hear from them very much maybe they really just feel apathy!

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If it were any of my last two ex's it would definitely put my world on a wobble. If were my recent ex I would probably take up something more than drinking. Although, I remained friends with an ex from about six years ago. Received the wedding invitation last Friday. I was unfazed. *shrugs

 

Next drinks on me.

 

Take care man.

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Well, none of my ex's are getting married...

 

But I did find out that one that keeps contacting me is going to the Bahamas with his "roommate" in @ 41 days... I was the dumper for whoever it was that asked about dumper / dumpee...

 

Can I get a vodka and redbull please? I'll pass on the beer.

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Hey, I'm always looking for an excuse to have one too many, haha. Tonight, I'll tell my friends we're drinking because 'some guy's ex is getting married today'.

 

Stay strong, tomorrow is another day.

 

thank you. the idea of strangers drinking to this surreal day actually made me smile a bit.

 

it feels like a kind of cloudy fall day in a big city where the sun doesn't completely come out and everything is silent except for me walking around and wondering where everyone is. that probably doesn't make a lot of sense. that's just how it feels, i guess.

 

anyway, thank you all for your responses. you guys are the best. it's cool to visit a site where everyone kind of gets it.

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As far as i know none of my ex's are married - but dont know for sure as i am not in contact with any of them.

 

My longest relationship was with a man for 4.5 years and i found out he is living with another woman and has had a baby with her, that kinded made me feel a little funny when i first found out, although i was completely over him at the time, it still felt a little weird. To be honest i am not sure how i would react to any of my ex's getting married - i dont think i'd care to be truthful. Maybe it's a sign i am completely over them?

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it's always tough to hear, but a turning point in that you can start to let it go and move on for sure...

 

i had one guy i really liked who knocked up his ex-girlfriend, then ended up marryign her because he felt guilty she was pregnant.... so that was really tough.

 

and another guy i was dating was lying about being unmarried! so that was weird...

 

but it actually helped because you get your closure then... sad, but you know you have to move on and find someone else.

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My ex got married, yep. This August. Seven year relationship, he broke things off. Sort of amazingly, he got married almost exactly one year (to the weekend) after we broke up. And we broke up on our seven year anniversary.

 

Crazy how the universe seems to favor symmetry, no? ;-)

 

Think of it this way... you've been given a gift: CLOSURE. So many people come on this forum wondering if it's over for good, if s/he'll ever come back. But you know. And even though that knowledge hurts--and I empathize to the end of the world and back about how much it hurts--your knowledge can be wisdom if you apply it, and wisdom will give you the power to heal yourself.

 

Just think: when you wake up tomorrow, you'll successfully have lived through the marriage of your ex. Not bad! Hang in there; tomorrow is your day, not hers.

 

Hey, I'm always looking for an excuse to have one too many, haha. Tonight, I'll tell my friends we're drinking because 'some guy's ex is getting married today'.

 

LOL! Love it!! If it weren't getting on to my bedtime, I'd go pour a glass of wine. What the heck am I saying... I'll go pour a glass of wine anyway. ;-)

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ugh i'm too hungover to join in the drinks, largely because since finding out my ex has moved in with the girl he dumped me for, i've been drinking like a fish - eeeek!

 

I thought it wouldnt last, looks like I was wrong now theyre living together....it hurts like hell.

 

Best wishes to the OP

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thanks, best wishes to you as well.

 

sorry to hear the crappy news about your ex.

 

i have probably been drinking too much. but i quit smoking, so i justify it that way, lol.

 

regardless, i believe a scaling back in consumption is in order for me once this current bender has played out.

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When my ex-fiance got married, I was invited to the wedding. I skipped it. I didn't think it would be right of me to show up, not nice to the new chica etc. We are still friends, still talk maybe once or twice a month. I know why we broke up- we were both strong personalities, first borns, wanting to lead. He needed to marry a follower so that he could make all the decisions. He found JUST that. Maybe that's what makes it not so bad. I dunno.

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