Jump to content

An usefull talk with ex


sintex
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

Recommended Posts

The long story is in another thread and this site doesn’t allow me to post it. You can search for it.

 

The short story: a 10 year relationship (5 living together). 3 moths ago she cheated, got caught, I forgave her for cheating but she dumped me for the other guy. The next day the guy dumped her (a bit latter she said she dumped him). 2 months ago her brother (with who I didn’t get along) committed suicide (a long history of attempts). She had a lot of things left in my house (she said she didn’t have enough space at her aunt). She picked some of her stuff until now.

 

Today she came to pick the last of her stuff. We didn’t see each other or talked for a month an a half (except to set this day). When she entered the house she smiled and then started crying. She had one hour of packing things and crying. She didn’t want to tell me what was wrong. After she finished packing she had to wait for a friend to pick her so we had a moment to rest.

 

She: “When I came to you, all I wanted to say is that you were a villain and I was stupid; instead I started crying.”

Me: “That’s ok. You did it now. Nothing is lost. You are right I was kind of villain.” (Ok, I was a jerk sometimes). She burst into tears again and she started to talk. It was kind of disturbing for me (I can take it too well when people cry, especially if I care about them) so I will give you some main ideas.

 

What she told me:

- She traveled alone in several places (she insisted on “alone” .

- It is ironic that she started making money, my sister moves out (I gave a spare room to my sister)

- everybody thinks she is a cold blooded * * * * * because of what she did except for a girl friend of her (who told me that she has to agree with her because she is the only one left for her). I told her that I can give good references if needed.

- After we broke up she cried every night thinking that it was the worst thing that can happen to her. That was until her brother died.

- She put more energy into our relation (true) and neglected her brother because of this

- She doesn’t get along with her aunt uncle and she will move ASAP to another place.

- I look like I am 17. (The age we met). (2 hours/day cardio+weights, new haircut changed my look).

- Her mother is every disappointed of her

- She called the other guy the “a$$hole” (3 month ago was the wonderful man)

- She is very sorry for the way she ended the relation. I told her that I am ok with it.

- She will be alone forever. I told her she will find a better guy soon; she just has to be careful.

- She told me there is a furry inside her that somehow goes against me

- Some friends worry for her wellbeing.

- She still wants to leave the country in two years (we were supposed to go together).

- She told me of the birthday of a common friend (I knew the date) and asked for my sister’s (both this month).

- I was her holiday

 

After the talk I helped she put her stuff in the friend’s car. I noticed she left a couple of things in my house and I told her about them. She took a couple of them but I wasn’t paying attention and she still left a purse and some shoes (I don’t know if on purpose or not). I wished her good luck in love and she left crying.

 

Half an hour later she called me and apologized for the mean she said. She said she is very sad and angry. I told her to not worry, I am ok.

 

She looked like a ghost. She was very pale, tired and a nervous wreck.

 

I didn’t feel as much pain as the last times I saw her (no contact does work) but I am sure I still love her and I am sad. I think she is slowly reconsidering but maybe it is just wishful thinking. We still need a lot of time. I don’t know if we will be together again.

 

I will not contact her; I will let her to contact me. I intend to go along with my life without her. I am a bit scared and I find it hard to believe that I will be happy with somebody else anytime soon. I have more options than anytime of my life but my mind is still with her. I will focus on getting my body in top shape, work more on my business (damn recession) and meet new people. I become aware that I am a poor communicator and I am reading some stuff related to this in hope of fixing (I told her about this).

 

As usually, I am looking for your comments, questions and advice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

sounds like a complicated situation. I believe with the fact of her brother dieing and all the other stuff going on, a reconciliation might not be the top priority right now. Instead of worrying about if you two are going to get back together, you should try to be there for her right now. Show her you recognize her troubles and try to help her cope and be there for her. This way when the time does come to talk relationship she will remember who was there for her in the worst of times despite what had happened, don't worry about getting back together right now. Just help her with this time of need. Wish the best of luck to ya bro.

 

 

-hos

Link to comment
Share on other sites

sounds like a complicated situation. I believe with the fact of her brother dieing and all the other stuff going on, a reconciliation might not be the top priority right now.

 

I know it is not a priority. Sometimes I just hope she remains sane.

 

Instead of worrying about if you two are going to get back together, you should try to be there for her right now. Show her you recognize her troubles and try to help her cope and be there for her. This way when the time does come to talk relationship she will remember who was there for her in the worst of times despite what had happened, don't worry about getting back together right now. Just help her with this time of need. Wish the best of luck to ya bro.

 

I think my presense is making her more agitated. In her mind I have some kind of malefic influence. I just try to do no harm to her (real or imaginary) and don't bother her. We had the same social circle, same friends but now she lost most of them (they told her she made a mistake and she didn't take it well). After her brother death she become even more depressed and furious on everyone and the rest of her friends started to avoid her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...