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Please help me. What should i do with this girl?

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Hey everyone here is the scoop,


I have known this girl for 3 years. I didn't talk to her much but for the past year i have gotten to really know her. She asked me to help her get w/ the guy she liked. I said i would help her as much as i could. But i started to like her. I told one of my friends that i liked her and he told the girls brother. I am very good friends w/ her brother so he didn't really care. In fact, he thought it would be a great idea, because im such a "good guy". She went out w/ the guy for a week. He broke up w/ her. I comforted her. It was 2-3 weeks later i asked her out. She said no and that she only likes me as a friend. There were also rumors going around that i wrote her poems. That wasn't true because i can't write poems if my life depended on it. That was months ago. I still like her and she is showing signs from this web site that she likes me. I don't want to be rejected again by her. It just killed me last time. Please help me. With whatever advice you can give me.

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00b: Welcome to Enotalone


There is nothing wrong with fear of rejection, but you have to face your fears. Nobody ever said that you had to take her out as anything more than friends. Ask her out as friends. I go out with my best friend all the time and we have a blast. She is my best friend and that much I respect.


How do you know she is on this site?


Hope this helped.


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You have to make a deccision here. Which is more important to you, Your friendship or going out with her? If you chose the friendship, because you couldn't stand not being around her then you must stick to that. You have made this decision in the past and it put a strain on your friendship.


I suggest that you take it easy and let things go as they will. If it is meant to be then it will be. If she feels the same way as you do then you will found out when she knows. There is no need to rush her and maybe force her to run from you. You have strong feelings for her and that is hard to hold back, but you must because you do not want to put another strain on your friendship. I have a similar situatution and I just recognize that the friendship is far more important that anything else. Yet, she feels the same way I do, but neither of us want to damage our friendship. I only wish there was a way to tell my friend that our friendship would only benefit a relationship. And whoever said that all relationships musst end?


Anyway, enough about me. Just sit tight and she will recognize you as you are and want more, but you have to let her make this decision. It would not be fair to her or to you to rush into mentioning a relationship and rushing her to make a decision. Just let things happen as they will. Go with the flow.



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thanks neallo82288. u have helped. It is hard though.. i really want to be with her, to hold her. I haven't had a gf before but i really want her to be my first. she is everything to me. I've been there whenever she needed me. and i always will be there for her. i just wish she feels the same. Ill wait and see and try not to ask her out, but i know she won't come to me and ask. Thats why i am wanting to go to her and see how things r between us.

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Hey man, I never said don't ask her out. What I said was don't ask her out on a date. You can go out with her, but just as friends. This gives her an opprotunity to see the real you. Like I said I am in the same situation, but I know where I stand and if we were to go farther then she will have to make the first move. This is how my friendship outings go. Sometimes she says lets go to dinner and sometimes I do. The strange thing is that she has/ had a boyfriend, which did not seem to bother her. One night she told him that she had to goto the laundry mat and wanted to do so by herself, but I ended up there with her, because the place was empty. I tried to play it innocent and back away, but if I did not call her for one day she would call me the next. She wakes up on weekends and calls me to make sure I am alright, whether or not her b/f was with her. We have talked about going out on a couple of occasions and both agreed that our friendship was more important, but now I think she is realizing that we might have more than a friendship. Some days I wish we were more, but others I know that our friendship is more important. I think she feels the same way. I have ruined several of her relationships just by being her best friend and the guys seem not to be able to handle it.


Just ask her out as friends and if something more comes of it then all the more better, but do not expect anything more than friendship. If you do you will feel the power of doom.

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ok thanks. The only problem still is if i ask her out as friends she will start acting weird as if i want to be more than friends. I know this because i tried it before i asked her out the other time. I do want to be more than friends w/ her but if she doesn't feel the same she will repeat I just want to be friends over and over and over again. I will ask her to go out w/ me as friends. If ever she wants to be more than friends great, if she doesn't i guess it just isn't meant to be right now. I would rather be friends w/ her then not have her in my life at all.

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Just tell her something like " I value our friendship and would like to celebrate it by taking you to dinner." That may work. or try a movie that you know she wants to see. I know how you feel and I felt the same way at first in my relationship, eventhough I didn't realize it. Well, if she runs what have you lost? Not the friendship you thought you had. A real friend will not bolt, but accept you invitation.

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