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She's Not Texting Me Like She U...
She's Not Texting Me Like She Used To

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Hey guys...i am writing again as i dont think i have explained things in detail and thereforee not understanding what is the right thing for me to do.

I was dating this girl for 10 months and right at the start, neither of us were looking for anything serious. After 3 months i started reallly liking her a lot and i asked her out and she said no shes not lookin for a commitment right now in her life. Shez always been in a realtionship since she was 17 (shez 24 now) and wants to be single for sometime. So we kept goin to see where the road takes us and things were great, i treated her like an angel, she had no complaints and told me things like "your all any girl could ever want" and we had a bunch of nick names for each other and loved spending all the time we did together. So 10 months later after dating, meeting 5 times a week, it started gettin to a point where we started expecting more from each other as time went by. We had fights about small issues which directly or indirectly were connected to us not being together officially and this is the limit she is willing to put in wat is goin on. Things were great but these smal fights always gave her a reason to tell me things like "this is the reason i dont wanna get into a relationship cause i dont wanna deal with fights and all this uncomfortableness post and during fights. So the last fight gave her enough reason i guess to tell me "she does not wanna take this further. She likes me a lot but she is not falling in love and 10 months in she does not think it can happen now". She said all this when she was really pissed off. She was rude and said "i have decided this time, i dont wanna take responsibility of another persons feelings right now in my life and even though i like u a lot, i am not ready to give my 100% as a girlfriend to anyone."

After that i went into NC completely. Her best friend called me 3 days later to invite me for her bday dinner. I didnt go obviously cause she would be there too. Tat night she msged me saying "she'd wish id come for dinner tonite as she is missing me." I didnt reply. At 1am i got a msg again saying, "pls talk to me, missing your voice." I didnt reply.

2 nights later she tried calling my cell and i didnt answer.

She msged me saying "she would like to talk."

I replied askin "About what."

She replied.."Just wanna talk, now we need a reason, I wanna know what u upto and how u doin, you hate me now."

I replied.."i have nothin to say, it doesnt matter."

She replied.."Thanks for letting me know it doesnt matter. Thought it did. Sorry to bother you."

 

Next morning she called me from a stange number, so i answered. I was very rude during this conversation.

She said 5-6 times pls "talk to me properly, y you being so rude and i wanna be able to call u and not use other people phone so u pick up" etc.

I just said, "I have nothin to say, I dont wanna hear anything and its better for both of us we dont speak."

She kept saying "pls talk to me properly, dont speak like this and i wanna be friends and talk normally."

I said "i am not interested and have to go now."

 

After that i she msged my sister asking how i am doing and sorry she is gettin in touch with my sis but she cares and wants to know how i am doin etc.

My sis was normal n jst replied saying "he am fine, upset but tats normal since u guys spent so much time together and in time he will be fine."

 

2 days after that which was 7 days of NC, i bumped into her friend on the street and couldnt stop thinkin about her. I called her. (i know i made a mistake but sometimes u cant control these things, i was 3-4 beers down)

We spoke normally and i was kinda cold and she was bring sweet and saying things like "i really miss ur voice and so glad u called." She was almost crying when i told her tat all the love i had for u is becomin hate. I spoke properly and she told me how she passes restuarants and misses me, n heard the songs we played on loop and she cried of over an hour and has been missing me every second of the day and feels like calling me again n again but she stops herself cause she knows its not gonan help either of us. She said

"sorry i am saying i am missing u so much but i need u to know how i feel."

I didnt say i miss her more than once. I told her i have accepted tats its over etc and trying to move on but wanted to know today how she is doin. at the end of the conversation though i just asked her one thing...i asked her

"for all the feelings you have for me...she tells me she missing me so much she thinks of me all day....she tells me she has never met a better guy than me, never met anyone who she connected so well with...but all this put together is not big enough or bigger than your feeling to decide to wanna be single and leave me."

And she just said i dont wanna get back, if its meant to be we wil be together but as of now i know i am not putting my 100% into this and i am not ready to be anyones girl friend.

So i said...so it is over then....

She said....you should move on but since we are in each others mind so much yet, i wouldnt say its over.

What should be my next step? Have i done the right thing so far?

its her birthday in 10 days...should i be in touch...should i cal again or straght call on her bday to wish her...if she invites me for her bday should i go....wat should i do....i cant stop thinking about her.

 

After that i have been in NC for 2 days now. I dont know what to do. I am sorry for this long post but i am very confused. I dontknow what happed and why it happ and what i should do.

I have posted before but this time i wantd to explain things in detail.

sorry for the long post. Appreciate your help and support.

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Hey, don't apologize about the post being long, you have a lot of detail to cover, so it's all good, mate.

 

From what I can surmise though is that she's just not right in the mind to be shafted into a serious relationship or any relationship for that matter. She's never been single for too long too, and that there is a Red Flag... meaning she is needy for the sake of being needy with someone as opposed to being in love with someone.

 

I've let you know what's happened with the notion above, so accept the facts that she's not in the right mindset for anyone... let alone to be with you for now. You were used... I'm sorry to say. That's what happened.

 

She did make it known that the relationship wasn't going to be anything serious but you took it to another level... you allowed yourself to fall for her more than she could reciprocate her feelings toward you. You have to be brutally honest here that this could have been avoided...

 

If you love her, give her the space, and in this space she'll decide if she wants to be with you or not. Right now though she isn't too sure. She wants to fry other fishermen out there while keeping you keen. If she doesn't find anyone suiting her needs, she'll come back to you and is that really what you want?

 

Someone who chooses you out of necessity because you were available? Think about that for a sec, my friend... that is not love... that is her being needy.

 

So give her her space...

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Do what you think it is right. If you don#t want to contact her anymore, then don't & keep on doing NC.

 

I think you have explained yourself very clearly to her that you have moved on. By doing NC, you are in a way also helping her to overcome this obstacle & to move herself also on.

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