Her Mother... What do I do??

[Hosvius]

LONG lol please read I need some opinions

 

ok.. so me and my ex recently got back together about 2 months ago but we aren't official boyfriend and girlfriend as we have agreed to take things slow and try to begin a new relationship. She has alot of crap going on and I was such an a$$hole in the previous relationship I always screwed things up just a major Biznitch..im one of the lucky ones who gets another chance and im trying to prove to her thats not what am anymore..I've spent alot of time on myself and trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I basically saw counselors the whole deal to reconstruct my self as a better person..so thats that..Her mother on the other hand.. is a different story..(calling g.f M) M had always said she was a biznitch and M was always a daddys girl but her dad passed away.. I never believed her because her mom was always so sweet and nice to me.. M said its a front she can be a real biznitch.. anyway my grandmother is friends with her moms friend and my grandmother had said oh yeah i know them that my grandsons g.f.. her mom made a comment saying oh there not boyfriend and girlfriend there not together they just see each other every now and then.. When i heard this i was like ok lol.. and simply brushed it off. just weird what would compel her to make this comment you know? She plays all sweet and nice to me but M just recently told me that her mom says oh I dont think you two should be together in the future and this and that.. But when she always talks to me all kind and saying how she misses and loves me lol. So what I am asking here is how should I handle this?? should I just keep doing what me and M have been doing and simply dismiss the mothers ordeals? Because it's obvious she has some negatives on us being together.. OR should I wait for a mutual time to talk to her mother and explain how me and M feel and basically say how we're going to work on things and how I've worked to do this and that to have her in my life and how I seek her approval for this because they both have told me they have noticed a great improvement in my overall attitude and patience lol.. I feel her mother can play a roll in M's decision of being with me and I want to be on good terms with everyone.. Im trying to make a new name for myself with them I don't want to be known as the guy before.. How can I do this?? ALSO her mother is crazy.. No B.S. she just has issues not to be mean or anything. Just makes it that much hard to talk to her..

 

What to do?? how to respond to this??

 

thanks

 

-hos

[lady00]

I think you should ignore her mom. This relationship is between you and your ex/soon-to-be-girlfriend. If you approach her mom or bring up the issue of her mom, this could escalate and cause a feud between them and just cause more tension in the whole situation. I think your best bet is to let your gf deal with it if and when she sees fit. If she notices her mom saying stuff she doesn't agree with, it's her responsibility to set the record straight. I think that if your gf is worth her salt, she won't let her mother influence her unless her mother has legitimate concerns that she genuinely agrees with. If she thinks her mom is talking nonsense, she'll ignore it or deal with it as she knows how to (after all, it is her mom and she's had a lot of time to get to know her really well, how she operates, how she parents, how to talk to her etc.).

 

Why I think this way: If my mother were expressing things like this about my bf and I knew about it, I'd talk to her, but I would not like it if my bf approached her. I feel it's my responsibility to smooth the way if there is an issue between them.

[Hosvius]

Yes, you make perfect sense. M does tell me she does just that.. and every time my name is brought up about something M defends me and often tells me her mom does talk non sense and she just ignores her (this is with alot of things and subjects as M tells me ). I believe your absolutely right.. M knows her mother and knows how to handle it, I probably would just make things worse with my approach. Thank you for your input I could have made a big mistake lol.

 

-Hos