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Its been a horrible break-up for me. But I started to feel better and to start being me again. I even started thinking in terms of pursuing new guys and letting go of all the thoughts that me and him could be together or not even wanting that anymore, actually realizing how wrong and bad things were BUT of course there is a but. A few weeks ago I found out he was all in love with someone else. That they were very serious and from looking at things knew they were pretty compatible and probably would be happy. First it was a shock, but then i just once again came to terms with it. For some reason it has been eatting me alive today. I haven't compared myself to her or compared our relationships I am just so curious on if they are still together and how they are doing. I blocked everything of his and haven't looked at at stuff for over 2 weeks now, but I am so tempted and know I shouldn't

 

Why do I care so much if it they are together and how they are doing??? Either way we are still not together and he still isn't trying to contact me. So why do I get this urge that if I know I will feel better or that I need to know?

 

-ugh really confused and hate myself for still being hung-up on this, he's moved on why can't I push stuff aside and do the same.

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There's something about the internet that encourages this kind of voyeurism. I don't think it's exclusive to your situation, and I don't think you should feel bad about it. You should try to resist the temptation if you can, but if not, I think a quick peek isn't necessarily doomed to be all that bad. If you think it'll put your mind to rest for a little bit just to have a mental image of what his life is like now, it could actually be beneficial.

 

However, if you can't stop checking or if you feel that what you might find could be potentially upsetting to you, I think it's best if you try to reason with yourself. This will take some willpower, but if you know the results of checking won't be good, you need to talk yourself down from this ledge. Just tell youself that it won't help you feel better and it won't change what's happened.

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From my experience, we do this because we wonder what does the other person have that my "ex" doesn't want anymore. We question ourself and tend to blame ourselves for it going wrong and what we could've done differently. It's almost a shot to the self esteem.

 

Also, the reason you check up on your ex is because you are still suffering from the loss and perhaps because you are not feeling entirely happy with your life right now, you want to see if he is. It's hard to think that the person you love/loved has moved on and can be happy again without you. Letting go is the hardest thing to do.

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yea your dead on with the whole can't be happy without me... or also doesn't deserve to find happiness after the pain he caused me.

 

fyi i didn't check and am not going to.

 

I just want to so badly put it behind me. Like not be happy due to anything b/c of him, like be happy b/c he isn't or be happy b/c his relationship isn't all what it seems. I just want to do things without his influence.... Like even when I think of happy times I think of them as revenge on him. Ugh even though I want this it hasn't happened yet, when does living my life for me happen and not be influenced by anything that has to do with him.

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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