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What do guys mean by "hang out"?


mybunnyslipperz

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I have just recently started dating after an 8 year relationship and the nearly one year it took to heal after its abrupt end last October. I've joined a few dating sites in an attempt to meet guys, since I haven't the slightest idea of where to go to meet new people. My profile says I'm looking for "dating", since I'm not in any hurry to rush into a serious relationship and I'm not quite sure how this "dating" thing is supposed to go. I don't know the rules... I don't know the signs... I don't know the terminology. I've been out of the loop for 13+ years between my last 2 back-to-back boyfriends and the emotional vacation I've been on for the past year.

 

I've had 2 guys ask if I wanted to "hang out". One of them said this while suggesting our first meeting - he has since become obsessed with me and is pretty much stalking me, even though I've told him numerous times "I'm not interested. Please stop contacting me."

 

The other guy was the one who took me on my first "date". He took me out to dinner and then we walked around the mall together. We've talked almost every day since that initial get together a month ago. The second time we got together he Texted me to say he was going to be all spontaneous and come see me that day if it was okay with him. It was a 2 hour drive to come see me and we spent time together, he stayed for dinner and then we went out for ice cream. He kissed me before he left that night (not sure if that's relevant). 2 nights ago he asked me if I wanted to hang out with him and go to Red Lobster. Um......... what does that mean?

 

I am pretty sure he really likes me, since he's trying to be the "good guy" and since he initiated the kiss. I'm not overly attracted to him in person, but I don't know how long it takes to decide for sure whether or not you are attracted to a person enough to maintain a relationship with them.

 

What does he mean by "hang out"? Is he asking me out on a date? Or is it more likely that he doesn't like me as much as I imagine him to and he really just literally wants to HANG OUT with me? I'm so confused!!!!!

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I know how hard it is to get back into the dating world. I also recently got out of a long term relationship, and thought online dating would be a good way for me to meet new people. I met a guy online once who I dated casually for a couple of weeks, and he always used the term "hang out" as well. I found it really bothersome; like I was "hanging out" with a 15 year old boy or something like that!

I notice that a lot of guys are adopting the "hang out" expression, and I think it screams of immaturity. I think guys who want to hang out are probably not looking to date, but instead are perhaps hoping to get lucky. That's why I'm trying to date men 5-10 years older than myself (I'm in my late 20's). I find many men around my age to be emotionally immature, and it's a HUGE turnoff. I'm not suggesting that all younger guys are (that would be an unfair generalization), but it seems like it's taking longer for men (and in some cases women too) to outgrow some juvenile-like behaviors.

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If a guy calls you up and initiates plans to see you, ie. spending his time with you, whether he calls it hanging out or dating he is interested in you. I guess you have to find out what type of interest he has now. If he's buying you dinner then it's almost definitely a date to him.

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I found it really bothersome; like I was "hanging out" with a 15 year old boy or something like that!

I notice that a lot of guys are adopting the "hang out" expression, and I think it screams of immaturity.

 

This is kind of how I view it too. I'm also in my late 20's and admit, I didn't (and still don't) know what to expect from the world of dating, but I didn't think it was going to be "hanging out" with someone.

 

I guess I just always thought the (online) dating process went something like this:

 

- Find someone who piques your interest. Start a conversation via email or IM.

 

- Talk to the person for awhile online and see if you have any interest

 

- Talk on the phone and see if you're able to maintain a conversation with each other for more than 5 minutes

 

- Agree to meet in person for coffee or something simple and quick to see if what appeared to be present during initial contacts carries over into real life. Determine if there is enough mutual interest to go on a "date" with this person.

 

- Go on dates together to begin getting to know the other person (you are now "casually dating")

 

- If this is successful and it is mutually-agreeable to continue the relationship, you have the exclusivity talk and you're boyfriend/girlfriend. (you're still dating - but with the exclusivity clause attached).

 

 

 

Maybe I'm old-fashioned in my thinking. But in my world "hanging out" and "kissing" don't usually go together. I hang out with my friends and I have plenty of them... I am looking for someone to DATE me!

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i usually want to hang out with a girl before i ask her on a date. or i think she is cool and want to be friends.

 

I guess that might be the issues here. How do you differentiate between "hanging out" in the interest of dating you sense and "hanging out" just with the intention of being friends? Therein lies the confusion!

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I guess that might be the issues here. How do you differentiate between "hanging out" in the interest of dating you sense and "hanging out" just with the intention of being friends? Therein lies the confusion!

 

you would be able to tell by the way i act. i make it well known i'm into the girl. lots of flirting, touching, etc. with a girl who i just think is cool, she really won't get any of that. just joking around and having fun.

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You women are amazing.

 

What's so wrong to have a nice gentleman approach you and ask to hangout and spend some time with you? More than likely you're gonna say "yes" and spend up his money on dinner and a movie, anyway. Then turn around, come on to the forums and talk about, "Girl, he said 'hangout'. I can't believe he actually used that word!"

 

The bottom line is, the man wants to spend some time with you. I bet you if Denzel Washington or Vin Diesel said hangout you wouldn't seem to mind lol.

 

Your *** oughta be happy that somebody picked you to spend money on. So count your blessings and shut the fook up, mate.

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