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Just can't trust people, and it's going to bring me trouble...


Stinkweed
Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
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Same girl I posted last week... All I know is it's going to end bad and that's 100% certain, because I don't know how to make it end good... I'll never know, man, and I give up. She still sits next to me, even after I tried to ask her out yesterday... I managed to do it after class, I didn't have a specific day, etc, and she was in such a hurry I couldn't set one or anything, I said we should go have dinner some time, and she said she'd like that. I would've asked for a date, but first of all my schedule is horrid this week, and second she was in a hurry and I dunno, just didn't convince me.

 

I totally expected her to not sit next to me today, I never do, but this time I was convinced because I try to ask girls out and pattern is they never even look at me again, and I didn't care, cause that would've been the end of it, period, I would've been able to move on... But she sat next to me again. And sure she still sits next to me, stares, smiles, giggles, talks a little bit, but only during class, as soon as class is over, it's like I don't exist, so I dunno, it just doesn't convince me... She didn't bring up a possible date or anything, really. I'm sick of people playing games, but I just can't figure out if she's playing a game, or what her deal is... Now I don't know what to expect next time... Will she sit next to me? She might... she did today even after I tried to ask her out yesterday, but I didn't do anything today, which makes me think she might not do it again... I guess I don't quite trust her... I really wish I could, because since I don't, I just seem to tense up. She's very good looking and I've seen other guys talk to her, so I'm sure I've got "competition." But I dunno what I should do, really.

 

Life was so easy before she started sitting next to me and talking to me. It was me, the couple of friends I've got left, my hobbies, and I was so happy. And know I don't know what to feel. I think I either might be messing this up with all this lack of trust and she might very easily start going out with another guy, or I might be right, and she just wants to be friends or something... But I've never heard of anyone who just one day targets someone else to be their friend, etc. I know if I do nothing, and she stops sitting next to me (even if it's not because I did nothing, you know? But I wouldn't really know) I'll feel like I messed up.

 

Maybe I don't deserve attention from anyone cause I'm too "paranoid" or something. I don't know what to think anymore, seriously, I'm so confused. I wish NONE of this had EVER happened. She'd be just another pretty face that sits on a different row of desks not next to me to pay no mind to, just like I usually do (looks alone VERY rarely make me give that second look. I think this girl is very physically attractive, but before this whole ordeal, I seriously paid no mind to her, never even thought about her after class even though she'd occasionally smile at me, I very easily disregarded it as her just being a friendly girl. She's fun to talk to, I just don't really trust her, though, and can't help but keep my distance as if there were a timebomb that will explode and bad things happen when bombs explode). And somebody please tell me what they think... I mean, even if you think there's nothing much I can do cause you think I'm messed up in the head and not ready for a relationship/whatever, could you at least tell me what to tell her so she'll back off?

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personally im confused by all of this. You like her but u dont trust her, is there a reason why you dont trust her? Why do u want her to back off? couldnt u instead casually bring up the date again, like so when are we going to go out for that dinner? im not sure that im clear on your issue here...

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personally im confused by all of this. You like her but u dont trust her, is there a reason why you dont trust her? Why do u want her to back off? couldnt u instead casually bring up the date again, like so when are we going to go out for that dinner? im not sure that im clear on your issue here...

 

 

I just don't know what her deal is. For all I know the only reason she still sat next to me might be because she might think it rude, or something. I don't know... I've never done this before, and the only other time a girl hinted interested towards me that I'm pretty sure she might've been interested, was a while ago, and I did nothing at all about it, and I felt like it was a missed opportunity.

 

It's like she's nice and all... I wouldn't say I LIKE her given that I don't know her that well, but if she's actually interested in me, I wouldn't hesitate in going out with her (see, am I supposed to like her before even going out with her? Or would that be out of order, or what? I've never done this before, so I dunno). She is very beautiful, I know she's very intelligent, and that kinda seemed too good to be true anyway.Sometimes she just doesn't convince me that she really wants to go out, and I dunno what to think... I'm not sayin she should ask ME out or anything, but I think it's weird that as soon as class is over, I'm invisible. I've never asked a girl out that tells me "Oh I've got a boyfriend" or any valid reason to reject me, yet it never happens and then they outright ignore me and that's what I'm used to. So this is just completely new, and I wish I had been born with the skills necessary or something, but I don't have them. So you say I should bring it up casually? If so, would it be better to ask her to hang out with me and some friends (that is, IF I get to see them and get to convince them to hang out, cause they're usually either extremely busy or very hard to reach, which just tells me I should forget about them and might as well get new friends) or by ourselves?

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I dunno... Whatever, I'll see what I'll do... I know things are definitively not going to go in my favor. I've never done this, and don't even know how to do it, so it's most likely not going to go well. Try to give the keys to a bus full of passengers to a 12 year old that's never driven, not even in video games or anything, so he drives them from Philadelphia to New York City... They're just not going to make it alive, most likely.

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interesting metaphor, i wouldnt get together with her and friends cause then she'll feel like the odd one out, perhaps shes just as shy when it comes to you, and like uve said uve never talked to her outside of class either, id say go for it and just see how things end up, clearly ur attracted to her, and if she says no, then your no farther n behind than what u are now, what have u got to lose

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interesting metaphor, i wouldnt get together with her and friends cause then she'll feel like the odd one out, perhaps shes just as shy when it comes to you, and like uve said uve never talked to her outside of class either, id say go for it and just see how things end up, clearly ur attracted to her, and if she says no, then your no farther n behind than what u are now, what have u got to lose

 

I guess that's what I want: closure. If she doesn't really feel enthusiastic about me, then I'd rather her start ignoring me like all the others before her, and I'd move on... If she does want to go out, then why don't we go out? I talked to her only once after class and it was kinda because I just started talking to her. But I just don't wanna be hovering over her every time after class when she's not even really looking at me or talking to me and won't even say "bye" to me, but if not after class (and during class just doesn't seem appropriate seeing that there's a professor trying to teach), then when do I ask her out? I mean is this what girls regularly do? I'm thinking I should just forget about this one and try to find another one or something, cause this isn't quite how I pictured attraction...

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I think you're letting fear protect you from potential rejection and in the process of protecting yourself you're sabotaging this relationship from working out.

 

Let me give you a female perspective on what's happening

 

Same girl I posted last week... All I know is it's going to end bad and that's 100% certain, because I don't know how to make it end good... I'll never know, man, and I give up.

 

1. By assuming it's going to end badly, you give up (or worse make fun of the girl, ignore her, act rudely), thereby ensuring that it's going to end badly.

 

She still sits next to me, even after I tried to ask her out yesterday... I managed to do it after class, I didn't have a specific day, etc, and she was in such a hurry I couldn't set one or anything, I said we should go have dinner some time, and she said she'd like that. I would've asked for a date, but first of all my schedule is horrid this week, and second she was in a hurry and I dunno, just didn't convince me.

 

2. She purposely sits with you after you asked her out the day before and she said she'd "like" to go out with you??? OMG - Give her the death penalty!

 

Why does she have to convince you of anything? Can't she just "like" you and want to be around you? If I like a guy and he asked me out, you can bet I'd be smiling, staring, and giggling around him as much as possible. It's only natural for people who are attracted to each other to want to spend time together.

 

I totally expected her to not sit next to me today, I never do, but this time I was convinced because I try to ask girls out and pattern is they never even look at me again, and I didn't care, cause that would've been the end of it, period, I would've been able to move on... But she sat next to me again. And sure she still sits next to me, stares, smiles, giggles, talks a little bit, but only during class, as soon as class is over, it's like I don't exist, so I dunno, it just doesn't convince me... She didn't bring up a possible date or anything, really. I'm sick of people playing games, but I just can't figure out if she's playing a game, or what her deal is...

 

3. Yes, she's playing a game. It's called the "I'm flirting with you, because I like you" game. If you don't want to play along that's fine, but don't turn these social interactions into something that they're not, like attempts to humiliate you.

 

Look, if you're freaked out that she's smiling at you, you're probably not smiling and being friendly and I wouldn't be surprised if she felt rejected and shut down by the end of class because you didn't seem interested in asking her out again despite the fact that she's purposely put herself in your path and given you the "green light" (smiling, giggling, flirting, etc.) to ask her out again. In any case, it's not the invitee's job to suggest a date or time for your first date. It's the job of whomever is inviting the other person on a date. (In this case you!!!)

 

Now I don't know what to expect next time... Will she sit next to me? She might... she did today even after I tried to ask her out yesterday, but I didn't do anything today, which makes me think she might not do it again... I guess I don't quite trust her... I really wish I could, because since I don't, I just seem to tense up. She's very good looking and I've seen other guys talk to her, so I'm sure I've got "competition." But I dunno what I should do, really.

 

4. Next time she may sit next to you... she may not. I think if I were her and I got vibes that you were angry (not smiling, ignoring me, etc.) with me for some reason, I might not want to put myself out there again. This doesn't mean she's playing games. It means she has feelings just like you and doesn't want to get hurt.

 

Rather than worry about what she's going to do (something you can't control), focus on what you're going to do and what you want to happen. Take the lead, sit with her, flirt with her, and ask her out for a specific time and place. Just trust your instincts and don't overthink it and psyche yourself out. If she gives you positive signals (flirting, laughing at your jokes, smiling), then you know she's interested. If you get indifference or hostility, forget her. It's really that simple.

 

By the way, just because a girl is "good looking" and has a lot of guys interested in her, doesn't mean she's playing games. Rather than worry about the "competition", remember that romance is all about compatibility. If you're "perfect" for her, why would she have eyes for anyone else???

 

 

Life was so easy before she started sitting next to me and talking to me. It was me, the couple of friends I've got left, my hobbies, and I was so happy. And know I don't know what to feel. I think I either might be messing this up with all this lack of trust and she might very easily start going out with another guy, or I might be right, and she just wants to be friends or something... But I've never heard of anyone who just one day targets someone else to be their friend, etc. I know if I do nothing, and she stops sitting next to me (even if it's not because I did nothing, you know? But I wouldn't really know) I'll feel like I messed up.

 

5. Yes, life was easier before she started sitting next to you, but it was also a lot less exciting. I think you nailed it when you said you might be "messing this up with this lack of trust." She may very well just want to be friends, but you'll never find out if more is possible if you reject her before she has a chance to get to know you better.

 

Maybe I don't deserve attention from anyone cause I'm too "paranoid" or something. I don't know what to think anymore, seriously, I'm so confused. I wish NONE of this had EVER happened. She'd be just another pretty face that sits on a different row of desks not next to me to pay no mind to, just like I usually do (looks alone VERY rarely make me give that second look. I think this girl is very physically attractive, but before this whole ordeal, I seriously paid no mind to her, never even thought about her after class even though she'd occasionally smile at me, I very easily disregarded it as her just being a friendly girl. She's fun to talk to, I just don't really trust her, though, and can't help but keep my distance as if there were a timebomb that will explode and bad things happen when bombs explode).

 

6. I don't think it's about "deserving" attention, but there is a possibility that you aren't ready to be with anyone at this point in time. You'll know you're ready when you want to get to know and like a person on their own merits instead of letting your fears prejudge them.

 

If she seriously makes you feel like a "time bomb" than you're probably better off alone. She's just a girl who likes you as a friend and possibly more... Why should she have to suffer the fallout of your insecurities?

 

 

And somebody please tell me what they think... I mean, even if you think there's nothing much I can do cause you think I'm messed up in the head and not ready for a relationship/whatever, could you at least tell me what to tell her so she'll back off?

 

 

7. Back off? That's easy. Just stay away from her. She'll eventually get the message.

 

If you think you might someday want to have a relationship with her, be nice about it. Tell her the truth. You're very attracted to her, but you're not ready for a relationship at this time.

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well it sounds like you kind of have ur mind already made up, im not sure if your all that into her, or u just think u should be... you know what i mean. Maybe you should just wait it out for that bang factor when u know that thats the girl you want and ull do anything to get her

 

Well I dunno... I wouldn't want too much time to pass either. I'd do what I'm supposed to for this girl, but I'm just not sure what that is. I don't want to do things I'd rather do for a girl I'm 100% positive likes me, but I don't want to just ignore her either, because maybe she's got her own way of doing things or something. Lol, I mean, I always pictured that if a girl was interested in you, you'd know it. I had already made my peace with getting out of college without having been on a single date (after all, it's not like my career is women's top choice... You can tell from the percentages of women in my field. Very few of them... She is one of them) because I wasn't going to ask anyone else out unless I was 100% sure they wanted me to, and I was so sure that was just not going to happen because all my life I had never had a girl who would sit next to me and talked to me, and I still haven't had one explicitly at least hint that they wanted to go out. Never had one, I dunno how girls work when it comes to dating (or anything else anymore... I haven't had a single female friend since I graduated from high school).

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Well I never meant it to sound like I was angry at her, really... But I am angry at myself, though, because I let myself do this to myself... I haven't given her any angry vibes, or anything, because I'm honestly not angry at her... But I AM confused. I told you I've never done this before, and I am angry about one thing, I guess: I dunno if I already messed up, or if I still have a chance to do what you said in paragraph 2 of #4 but with more quality than I've done so far (like I told you I tense up. I talk to her, I smile, I TRY to tease in a friendly manner, but it's kinda hard when you're tensed up). But I dunno. People say: "Don't compliment her... sexual tension good... blah blah" and I just don't know what would be in order now...

 

I didn't say her talking to other guys was playing games... I just meant that if I'm going to do something, I'd better act fast, because it might be too late... But I just don't know... if she really liked me and wanted to be around me, she would do so after class too (in fact, more reason to do it after class because you won't be disrupting the professor's lecture), instead of looking straight ahead like I don't exist anymore...

 

As for your last paragraph, I think it'd be a BIG goof if I said something in that fashion and it turns out she, herself, doesn't really want to date.

 

So I dunno, I most likely messed it up already. From the way you sound, sounds like if you were this girl you'd already forgotten about me. I'm not a very smooth guy as you may have noticed, so I don't think I've got the ability to fix it if it's already messed up. And I just don't know what I should do... Should I be more direct? I thought asking her out was direct enough... I dunno. Thanks for putting it into perspective, though. There's so many rules... Don't even know where I should offer to take her for a date because I don't know what would violate the oh so mighty code of dating ethics (I would obviously not choose a strip club. But people say everything from: Don't ask her for dinner, it's too formal, ask her for lunch OR ask her for coffee instead, it's more casual and blah blah blah). I hate this! I'd never hurt anybody... Yet I feel like I'm the big douche in this situation...

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So, okay, let's say she doesn't sit next to me tomorrow (if she does, I'll just try to ask her out again during class). I just want to get this over with and do whatever it takes, should I talk to her after class and stuff and see if we can set a date up or something?

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Maybe it's just not meant to be... I mean, I think if we were compatible, it would take no effort at all to keep a conversation going, yet I did have to make a bit of effort when I tried to talk to her after class. Had I not tried at all, she would most definitively not said much and there would've been a bunch of silence. Another thing that confuses me...

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Plus, don't women, like tease you and stuff when they like you? The more I think about it, the more I think she's just like all the rest... Sure there are what could be SOME signs, but that's how it's been with all the girls I've asked out before... There always were. They stared a lot, smiled. I talked to them and they replied in a decent manner. I'd be 100% sure this one doesn't like me for more than a friend if she had just ignored me today just like all the rest.

 

EDIT: I'll see what happens, I guess... Whether she will sit next to me again tomorrow or not, I'll talk to her. I've got a specific time in mind now... If she says no and doesn't suggest an alternate time, I'm done... Feel free to post some input/advice, because I think I really need it. Thanks.

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You didn't mess it up. I'm telling you these things, because I think you have a GREAT chance with this girl and I don't want you to mess it up by psyching yourself out.

 

Obviously she likes something about you. What I don't think you understand is that just as you can "mess up" a good thing, you can also "fuel" a good thing. The more you flirt, get to know her, give her POSITIVE fun associations of what it's like to be with you, she'll want to be around you more.

 

You can't "build" anything though, if you give up or psyche yourself out.

 

As for where to ask her out, forget the rules. Do what you think would be fun for you and her.

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You didn't mess it up. I'm telling you these things, because I think you have a GREAT chance with this girl and I don't want you to mess it up by psyching yourself out.

 

Obviously she likes something about you. What I don't think you understand is that just as you can "mess up" a good thing, you can also "fuel" a good thing. The more you flirt, get to know her, give her POSITIVE fun associations of what it's like to be with you, she'll want to be around you more.

 

You can't "build" anything though, if you give up or psyche yourself out.

 

As for where to ask her out, forget the rules. Do what you think would be fun for you and her.

 

I don't know how to flirt very well. I say something that I think could qualify as teasing/flirting, and the only reaction I always get is as if I had stated a fact or something. I dunno... I don't expect much, you know? If it's not messed up already, it's going to be messed up soon, because I'm obviously no good at "fueling" it. I do try, but it always ends up being awkward (instead of the girl giggling or laughing, there's just silence, or she just replies in as if I had just stated a fact). And I understand there's probably nothing I can do about that, lol, because it's something that takes time and getting used to to get better at it, and I used to not care that I probably was never going to learn, but since this started happening, I just wish I had "practiced" more. I don't expect her to understand or care (and she'll never know) that I've never done this before. Especially since she might as well very easily get some guy who can easily do it. I know I'm going to beat myself up when it's messed up... I always do. I'm going to try my best to look ahead and not beat myself up too much, though (I do have plenty of exciting things to look forward to) and just try to learn from the mistakes. Anyway, I'll try to ask her out again in a bit, and we'll see...

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Good luck! I know it's difficult.

 

Okay, I'm throwing in the towel... I did the most horrible thing I could've done... So I talked to her, and I tried to keep my cool. So after a couple of minutes I felt more relaxed, and tried to keep a positive mindset. I made her giggle a couple of times and I did talk to her, you know? I seriously forgot all the negativity. Everything was going well, except I didn't know when/how to ask her out again since last time it felt awkward like I was left hanging (main reason I thought she wasn't really interested. She might've said "that would be nice" but it was in a hurry and just kept walking). So she goes and asks me what I'm going to do over the weekend.

 

I tell her the truth: I'm going to hang out with some friends and we're going to go to an art expo of sorts and I've been looking forward to it for a while now. So I ask what about her, and she said something pretty vague. But I couldn't have gotten a bigger green light. I do NOT want to ask her out during class though, still I was considering just doing it during class, but I didn't know how to approach it, and then classwork started and by the time we got a breather, class was almost over so I figured I'd wait till after class, but, like I said, once class is over it's like I don't exist anymore. So I didn't get to ask her out afterwards either. So yeah, I'm just gonna throw in the towel, because I can't immagine she'll even sit next to me next time.

 

I'm not angry at her, but I'm angry at me, and at fate/destiny/life whatever you want to call it because it threw something that I didn't ask for, and although I am grateful cause it's probably a miracle, this whole ordeal has made me so angry at myself... It seemed like things couldn't get any better a couple of weeks ago. I was HAPPY. I did have excitement in my life, I just don't depend on girls or anybody else to get it. And now, every time my mind is not being overwhelmed by schoolwork, I just can't stop thinking about this girl and how much I suck... She couldn't have known, so it's not her fault, but there must be some cruel force out there that made all of this happen and without it I wouldn't be so freakin unhappy with myself. I was happy with myself. I had what I needed. But now I just keep thinking about this. In a way I deserve this because she did the right thing, I didn't. But on the other hand, I don't deserve being shown up like this... I was happy, and liked who I was and just wanted to have fun, and now I just hate who I am because of faults that seemed so unimportant and unrelated to anything I did just a couple of weeks ago.

 

I'm sorry, I just don't know what to think... except that I hate who I am, and I'm a long shot from fixing myself. This is most likely going to be the only time I get a chance like this and I messed it up, so even if I did fix myself, it'll be too late cause this already happened. And since I know that, I wish none of this had ever happened. I give up... But I'm angry because this will be in my head, so the damage is done already.

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Actually I think you did really well! There's only two things I'd have done differently.

 

1. When she asked "What are you doing this weekend?" and you said "Going to an art expo with friends," you could have said "Hey, want to join us?" This gives you the cover of a "group" outing, so it's not so stressful. Plus an art expo is good, it would give you guys something to "do" and talk about (pretend to be art critics, take funny pictures), so you're not standing around staring at each other.

 

It's not too late to ask her. Next time you see her, just tell her you were a little out it of the other day and forget to ask if she'd like to go too.

 

2. Please stop beating yourself up. You're not an idiot. You're a beginner and learning how to talk to girls especially someone you really like takes a lot of courage and practice. Instead of beating yourself up, you should be proud of yourself for making progress. You approached her this time right? You also made her laugh and got a conversation flowing? So what if you didn't ask her out this time. Keep doing what you're doing and eventually you'll get comfortable enough with her that you'll find asking her out won't be that big of a deal. The important thing is that you're keeping things fun and light between you so that you maintain and "fuel" her attraction to you. Good luck!

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Thank you so much for replying. I thought about asking her to join, but it's not just regular art, it's going to be pretty weird stuff (I don't think anything related to fetishes or stuff like that but I'm not 100% sure, but I know it's all alternative types who got tickets for this, and they remind me of this girl I knew in high school and she and her friends would pretty regularly paint some pretty bizarre sexual scenes, so I'm pretty certain it's going to be "weird" just don't know how weird), I dunno how much she'd enjoy it, but I could still have asked her and let her decide, though. But I do only have enough tickets for me and a couple of friends who had already asked me like 2 weeks ago. This was yesterday and I'm not going to see her today, and the expo's tomorrow, so can't do much about it now.

 

The reason I'm hard on myself is because I've never had a chance like this before (I did know one other girl a couple of years ago who giggled a lot when she was around me too, and stared a lot and she sat next to me once, but didn't even try to talk to me like this one, didn't do nearly as much as this one did to let me know she was interested, yet that other one took like a semester for me to 100% stop wishing I hadn't frozen and done something more every time I ran into her. But that one seems like nothing compared to this one, I mean, this one made it pretty obvious, I think), plus this girl... I mean, if she were some girl I wasn't interested in, I'd feel no problem with just doing my best to have a platonic relationship with. But this girl is pretty gorgeous and she was (hopefully she still is) into me, lol. So I know it's going to take a while to get over it... I hope she didn't give up on me or anything and that you're right and I've still got a chance, cause if I already messed up, it's going to take so long to fret for me...

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LOL... OK. I completely understand if you don't want to bring her to this one, but actually this is exactly the kind of fun date I'm talking about. I went on a "weird" art outing once and the art was so ridiculous and "offensive" at times that we couldn't stop laughing and trying to figure out why these pieces were considered "art." (We also made a fun game out of guessing how much the art was "worth." The museum had discretely put price tags next to the works.) But because everyone else in the museum was taking the art dead seriously, my date and I felt like we were the only two people in the world who could see through the B.S. and that made the outing even more fun and intimate.

 

I'm sure she's gorgeous, otherwise you wouldn't be so freaked out. But you shouldn't let her "looks" make you think that she's out of your league. If she likes you, she likes you for who you already are... funny and interesting. So instead of worrying about your track record, just enjoy getting to know her. She's a fun, interesting person in her own right behind that pretty face.

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Haha, fun story. It could've been a good idea if she didn't find it too offensive. Shame I didn't have the spare ticket.

 

Well I meant gorgeous as in I really enjoy talking to her and really wish I wouldn't mess this up and she's a nice person and I want to know her better AND she's good looking too. But she's not just a pretty face... Before she started talking to me and sitting next to me she was. I seriously never thought about her, I'd see her in class, but I mean she's not the only good-looking girl in the world, so I wasn't exactly interested in her, like it didn't really get that second look from me even though she is very attractive physically, I don't really pay attention and I certainly didn't think about her like I do now. She was just like everybody else, as in once class was over, I didn't exactly think back about her or anything. I never thought about talking to her specifically, she was just a classmate. Sure I talk to some classmates, but just smalltalk mostly out of good manners. But she definitively got my attention now.

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Well so today I asked her out finally... again. And she said she'd be busy over the weekend, but suggested some time next week, so I got her phone number, but... I dunno. I don't give this much faith. Maybe I'm being naive, but I always thought when a girl wanted to go out with you, she'd be more enthusiastic and that's definitively not the vibe I get from this one. She still sits next to me and we talk, and laugh. But especially since she's the one that started sitting next to me and talking to me, I guess I just expected something different. Maybe it's true what they say: If the girl started it, it's statistically much less likely to last. And to add to that, I've never done this before. So I still don't see anything good. But at least I tried, you know? I did something, which is hopefully what I was supposed to do, and I have no regrets. Still, I'm afraid of not keeping a distance, because I know what's gonna happen. Yet I feel that staying distant might be a mistake, cause I find she acts friendlier when I just let go and stop being defensive. And I don't wanna confuse her, cause I'd hate the idea that she might think I'm playing games... but maybe that's what I'm unconsciously doing and I wish I could stop, but at the same time I don't want to be naive... Instead, it seems like it's either one or the other.

 

In a nutshell, I'm either thinking: "eh, might as well talk to other girls (which is going to be hard given that in the last 2 years I haven't really met any) cause this one's going nowhere" or I just think about how we look deeply into each others eyes every time we talk and how cool and fun to talk to she is when we actually talk, that is, cause we seem to only talk when we're in class.

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Congrats on asking her out again and getting her phone number! As for her being not as excited as you hoped, maybe she's nervous too? It happens!

 

I'd just take her at her word (that she's busy this weekend) and maybe the next time you try to ask her out, make it a group function and just try to have fun. It sounds like if you two go out on an official "date" by yourselves, that it'd be more stress than its worth. If she turns you down again, I'd just stop asking her and leave the inviting to her next time.

 

As for talking to other girls, I actually think that's a great idea. Talk to ones you're intersted in and ones you're not. The important thing is to just try and have fun and not take yourself too seriously. This way when you do talk to a girl you really like, socializing won't seem like such a foreign concept. Good luck!

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Well yes, I don't think she'd lie. Just... I dunno. Sounds like it's gonna be too much work too early. If she turns me down again, I'll definitively back off. The only reason I still think we might go out is because she suggested to do it another time as if she were interested. As for the group outing... I'll see what I can figure out. Last time I went out with my friends was after weeks and weeks of all of us trying to find a way that our schedules coincided and we were able to finally go out. So I'll try... I'll also try to make it so that she won't feel alienated cause I'm sure she doesn't know any of my friends.

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