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I'm One Day Over


hitdog

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I think the reason you feel better when you have a plan, is because you are back in control. You know what you are going to do, and that gives you some peace of mind. Without a plan, maybe that feeling of being helpless, or trapped, or depressed seems endless and unbearable.

 

What if you made a different plan?

 

You're right. The depression does seem endless but that's largely because it is. I've lived like this for 25 miserable years. 25 years of waking up depressed. I'll go to sleep to sleep off a bad mood and wake up still in it. It's like when you try sleeping off a headache but when you wake up it's still there. You can only endure that a certain amount before you're overwhelmed. I'm tired of making plans only to watch them fall apart. My life doesn't have anything promising in the future so I don't want to waste any more time living. I don't need to hear the whole album for me to know I want the song to end.

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have you ever gone to the doctor to be treated for depression? a combination of pills, therapy, and a new life plan can do you wonders.

 

who are people you admire? what is it that you think would be cool to do?

 

I've been on all sorts of drugs and had a therapist since I was 12. Only recently I've been out of therapy because I don't have insurance but I did get a new therapist a few weeks ago as a last ditch effort.

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You made a decision to step away from the egde because it was not meant to be.

 

Take another step away from the edge and find a new direction, turn and find a purpose to your life as it is there you will find contentment. It is never too late to give yourself another chance, no matter how tired you feel.

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