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LADIES...online dating etiquette


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I already have my own ideas about how to work this, and have been pretty successful on it. I posted it a while back as a response.




but thought I'd get some fresh input. What do you GIRLS think the etiquette should be for online dating FOR YOU PERSONALLY...for example, today I called a girl who had given me her number yesterday after exchanging 2 e-mails (I like to do it quick, no need to waste time) I called her today and we talked for a good 10 minutes. My plan was to talk to her for a bit and then call her up a few days later and ask her out. I kind of bit the bullet and told her earlier and she said, she would like to talk more first before meeting. I said, okay. Was 10 minutes too short for the first convo? And how do you expect a man to approach you/ask you out/ call you when it comes to online dating once you have given him your phone number?


Try to think ABOUT YOU PERSONALLY and be honest, imagine yourself in the situation.


Ladies only please, it is the only opinion I am interested in right now.

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Well I did online dating for a couple of months so I can give you some pointers from a female's perspective . . .


Here are some of my advice/pet peeves:


1) Please don't mass email every girl you see on there with some generic message, I think it's so inpersonal and I never respond to those emails. I need to know that you took the time to read over my profile and are sincerely interested in getting to know me.

2) If the girl gives you her number, I'd say call within 3 days or else she's going to think that you are no longer interested. I had a guy who didn't call me until a week or two later, but then I've already lost my interest. I assumed that he was just too busy for me so I didn't even bother calling him back.

3) My preference is to start off with a couple of emails first before moving to the phone. I need to test the water first and see how the guy is. But I think every girl is different.

4) Once you guys are comfortable over the phone, suggest meeting up in person. I'd say do this maybe after 2 or 3 phone conversations? I usually like the guys to bring this up first though

5) On your first date, please whatever you do, DO NOT BE LATE! You can get there early but SHOW up on time!


I have more but if you like specifics just ask

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10 min is too short for me. In the past I've turned down a man that I couldn't hold a conversation with for >10 min. An ability to communicate with my partner matters to me. Its good that you dont want to leave things hangnig and are willing to ask her out on a date. For me consistency and quickness in responding to phone calls/emails from a man's side matters in the initial stages. Pay attention to what she says on phone and depending on that you can decide whether both of you are interested in meeting or not. 3-4 phone conversations upto 30 min should be really sufficient. If it starts to go beyond that, without meeting, I would consider it worthless.

Asking out - Give sufficient time for her to decide. Ask what she would like to do. Offer choices. Don't call 2 days in advance and ask to go out and feel hurt if she says no. Call 4-5 days ahead of time if you know that she is a busy woman. (During your phone conversations, you can get an idea of her likings, her schedule) A walk in a park/mall/by beach, coffee at Barnes n nobles/starbucks, meet in an art gallery/museum/exhibit are some of the places I would consider going to. (I don't drink), if both of you are interested, you can slowly proceed.

Just don't play games, be sincere, if you don't feel the connection, thats fine you can let her know so (by email/never calling back) and move on. Whatever you do, don't show flaky behavior. calling then no calls then calling again, meeting then nothing... then calling again... it shows a low level of interest/settling behavior.

Good luck!

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OP, I forgot to add.

Don't use phone conversations to just go blah, blah, about yourself. Ofcourse engage in conversation, provide information as n when asked. But phone is a good way to get the information about things n form opinions that meeting won't change. e.g. I once talked on phone with a man who was 30 min away from me but was thinking of moving to another state for work. (I decided not to meet) Some women have strict rules. "I'll date only men from the wallstreet/a guy has to make $x/year." Meeting is not gonna change such rules. I'm not saying you probe and ask such Qs in way that makes her feel that she is being interrogated. But you can slowly break ice and gather key points. Gather information about your deal breakers (eg. kids/previously married n divorced... or something else). There is always a chance of her not telling the truth, but normally when people don't see a reward (person from opposite sex) sitting in front of them, they often tend to tell the truth (my experience). Physical attraction/chemistry/spark can cloud people's thinking and make 'em lie/change their answers. (my experience)

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