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Who has gone through a horrible breakup but eventually found love again?


Why Men Come Back - ALWAYS
Why Men Come Back - ALWAYS

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If you were paying attention during the relationship that ended and through the break-up and healing, you might've picked up some valuable information. Such as: What things work for you in a relationship and what things tended to get old fast. A real simple, quick example -- I don't have a problem being around people who smoke. I do have a problem being a relationship with a partner who smokes. Same goes for drinking. These are things I learned being involved with smokers and an alcoholic.

 

Every relationship is an opportunity to learn more about yourself -- what your real needs are and what's really important to you when it comes to being with another person. Quite often what we *think* we want and what actually works out best for us aren't the same thing. Particularly if you're relatively new to intimate relationships.

 

BTW, I consider anyone younger than their early 30's "new" to relationships....'cause Lord knows I look back at my journal and I know I didn't have much of a clue for the first 10-15 years I was dating and being in relationships. I had a lot of ideas about what I thought I wanted, and what I thought would work that turned out to be not so great. I made a lot of mistakes. Went through some nasty break-ups, some lengthy bitter, man-hatin' phases and a lot of therapy to learn how to build a healthy relationship and how to be someone capable of having a healthy relationship.

 

I met my husband when I was 37. I met him about 2-3 months after I broke up with an ex I caught cheating on me. My husband did not come in a package that looked much like what I thought I wanted (11 years younger?! And he lives 2 hours away?! What's up with that?), but he is exactly who I needed to be married to. And there is no way I would've been ready to have this kind of relationship with him if I hadn't gone through all the break-ups, mistakes, failed experiements and so forth that I did before meeting him.

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No two people are exactly alike,and no two relationships will be alike, either. Generally, some things are the same: you go out to dinner, to the movies, talk on the phone, etc... What the years and several relationships have taught me is that there are many different feelings associated with love and you will have some of these feelings with one person, some with another. My current relationship never had the adrenaline rush, the "I am so in love with him!" feelings at all. We just met, laughed with each other, kept seeing each other and before we knew it, nine years have passed. He is my best friend and I am his. Maybe that is real love. I have never had such a compatible relationship before, nor such a long term one. I like it, so there is hope for love again after losing a very special love. By the way, I agree that anyone under the age of 30 is a novice at relationships. I know I was.

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I broke up with my ex boyfriend something like two or three years ago. I waited a year before dating. Then I met this great guy and we've been together about seventeen months, we are getting married soon, and happy as clams.

 

I noticed what I liked about my ex boyfriend and I noticed what I didn't like and then I found someone completely different. I behaved differently and got different results.

 

Thank God.

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Curious to know what it is like when it happens again (especially after going through a devastating breakup)...is it really better the second time around?

 

it is never how good it is or which is better... it is always how good you want it to be...

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i had a real messy break up. fell in love 2 years later. i didn't think i cud love again. and then i got cheated on. sucks balls. fall in love a 3rd time? no thx. but it felt different. not like the first. i was much more guarded. not very trusting. and i took it really really slow. we were in love for 2 months before i decided to take the title. lol...just be careful. these days, it seems like every other person is a cheat.

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I have definitley been through that situation....I was being strung along, and I learned alot from it. I was able to move on and find love again.

When it first happened and for nearly a year after I didnt think I would but I did.

At that point and at that point only did I fully move on.

That girl still texts me and calls every once in a while, but that is exactly what was strininging me out and I got over it because I found someone new, and better.

 

Which led me to my situation now. Check it out and shoot me some advice if you can.

 

 

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I was in love (be it young) with a boyfriend I was with for 4 years (aged 17 - 21) and devastated when it ended. I found someone else 18 months later (after thinking I never would) and we were together for 18 fantastic months. It took a while to trust him having been hurt before but it was better than anything i've ever experienced. Sadly he didnt feel the same and left me for someone else...I thought i'd have learnt that things get better and that it wouldnt hurt so much a second time....NOT true! Its almost worse because I felt i'd learnt and had given my love more slowly and considered, I thought i'd got it right this time I guess.

 

So, back to the drawing board, i'm not optimistic this time around to be honest...surely theres only so much heart ache you can take?

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I've always had the metaphysical belief (maybe its just for comfort) that things keep happening over and over again to teach us a lesson that we resist on learning. So I believe (hope) that as long as we take every set back with grace and an opportunity to receive feedback on ourselves instead of wallowing in sadness, that we will continue to find better and better out there in love and all other aspects. Although wallowing in sadness feels so much better.

 

And to answer your question, yes! Every bf that I have had has kept getting better and longer relationshipwise, and for the ultimate example - my mom. She had like 20 bf's before she found my dad, got married in 8 months and has a more successful marriage than anyone I know.

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