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why does my heart ache??


broken07

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hey everyone, been awhile since ive been here. About 3 months ago I broke up with my ex of 4 years. Couldn't trust him, he had cheated on me in 4 years approx 7 times that im aware of. He was my everything, my best friend. I tried so hard to make things work, to be enough for him, and it wasn't until I walked away that he realized what he lost. For 3 months he has begged for me back, promised me the world. Apologized over and over for cheating, swears to me it will never happen again. I want to believe what he is saying, but why did it take me leaving him to realize what he had. He calls crying every day, begging me to come home. Telling me things will be different, he will do whatever I need him to do...move, quit his job...etc. He wants to get married, start a family etc. All of this is really killing me, stressing me out, and keeping me from moving on with my life. I love him with all my heart, he is the love of my life, but I will never beable to trust him. I know I will always wonder if he lying when he goes to work, out, etc. What do I do, to add to this I have met a great guy that I can trust, and give me the world. I cant even give him 100% because my heart is still so very attached to my ex. Help anyone??

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Update:

 

I told him today I could no longer talk to him. He said "I didn't book my ticket to germany to meet Monikas (his current g/f) parents because I was waiting on you to come home, Im booking my ticket now, its 2k" I said "you must really love her." He says "I think I do now." I get that for telling him we both needed to move on, that I loved him but could never get over the past. He says "I will never speak to you again, do not contact me, I hope hes a to you."

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guess my question is how do you forget?? I dont want to remember him anymore, yet he plays in my mind over and over again all day long. I do love him, but know I could never be with him. He says hes changed, but how is that, when hes still pursuing me yet has a g/f.

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Broken, you will think about him less, eventually. It takes time. You don't want to completely forget about him because I am sure there were lessons learned from the relationship that you need to remember. Probably the only reason he is begging you is because you have bruised his ego.

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a person that cheats on everyone they have ever been with, can they change just bc they lost something they love. Can they really change there ways? clearly hes lying and hasnt but thats all he keeps saying.

 

change or not, he shouldn't have done this in the first place. don't even question it.

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You will sadly never forget. I too have wondered how to just froget it all...short of death, there is no way.

 

Considering you have both moved on within 3 months of a 4 year relationship being over, it couldn't have hurt either of you too badly. In my opion, neither of you have healed and that spells doom for your next relationships no matter how 'awesome' they seem.

 

Take some time to heal. If this new guy is really the man he seems to be for you, he'll wait and understand why he has to.

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I've been in a similar situation, my ex cheated on me a lot - behind my back - and when i found out, he swore he'd never do it again etc. Then he went and just did it again. But he had cheated on every girl he'd ever been with. And i honestly believe he always will. But anyway my point it, splitting up with him hurt like hell despite how much of a scumbag i knew he was. And within 2 weeks of us slpitting up he'd got with someone else and even got them pregnant. Now he is still screwing her around, cuz that is the person he is.

 

My point: Men who are like this are BOYS and they do not change, ESPECIALLY when they say "i can change". They often say the words instead of actually act on them.

 

It does take time to get over anyone, no matter who they are or how they treated you, and cuz you've been with him for 4 yrs... its gonna take time. You're best plan is to cut all contact with him (easier said than done, i know), and just stay busy, maybe try and meet new people - not to get into anything serious, just to get back out there. Once you meet someone else who you have feelings for, then you will be able to see just how badly you were treated and how much better off you are without him.

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thanks kimi. Your right, no matter how bad he was, I miss him like hell. It hurts so bad, and I want nothing more then to reach out to him but I dont. You guys are right, if I was someone he really wanted to be with he wouldn't have moved on so fast, especially to a girlfriend, meeting her family etc. I spend everyday convincing myself im better off, just hopefully this heartache will some day fade.

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Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch This!

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